Help, I messed up my baby! (sleep)

[scrub-jay]

Yes, the book will explain how to move away from crutches. Honestly, I suspect (and hope) your shuffle will be easier than some. By the time we discovered it with dd, she was 15 months and it was tough. My DS, however, was around 6 months and had an easier go of it. Your dd sounds like she's got some soothing techniques and the ability to fall asleep on her own, but she might need help refining them so she doesn't need the crutches (which aren't usually readily available in the middle of the night).

[DrBandMe]

Just offering support. If you need me to come by and watch A for a few hours just so you can get some guilt free sleep just let me know. I'm not that far away. E & A are bound to be friends anyway so why not start them off early?

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[MsSassyBaskets]

Yes, the book will explain how to move away from crutches. Honestly, I suspect (and hope) your shuffle will be easier than some. By the time we discovered it with dd, she was 15 months and it was tough. My DS, however, was around 6 months and had an easier go of it. Your dd sounds like she's got some soothing techniques and the ability to fall asleep on her own, but she might need help refining them so she doesn't need the crutches (which aren't usually readily available in the middle of the night).

Ok, that makes good sense. It sounds like what we need. I got a whole 6 hours of broken sleep last night, so I'm able to think a little more clearly about it!

[MsSassyBaskets]

Just offering support. If you need me to come by and watch A for a few hours just so you can get some guilt free sleep just let me know. I'm not that far away. E & A are bound to be friends anyway so why not start them off early?

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Love this! We do need to get together soon, I just feel like I'm such a hot mess right now. I plan to be at the RSA picnic though. Honestly though, my own lack of sleep is partially because of my lack of time to sleep and my inability to let things go. If I had a few free hours, I would probably do work. There's no such thing as guilt free here.

[scrub-jay]

Congratulations on 6 hours!

[DrBandMe]

Love this! We do need to get together soon, I just feel like I'm such a hot mess right now. I plan to be at the RSA picnic though. Honestly though, my own lack of sleep is partially because of my lack of time to sleep and my inability to let things go. If I had a few free hours, I would probably do work. There's no such thing as guilt free here.

Okay...come to my house and sleep in my guest bed! No electronic devices allowed! I get what you are saying though... The offer stands anyway.

Looking forward to seeing you at the picnic and meeting A! B is on home call so hopefully he will be there too.

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[lovelight]

I see you've gotten lots of good advice and, though I haven't read all of the responses, I wanted to also throw a vote in for the sleep lady shuffle. She saved my life! My 11 month old was a completely miserable nightmare of a sleeper...I basically bought time feeding him to sleep literally every single time because I could not bare to stay up more than necessary while working with his 3-5 night time waking. My plan was always to wait until summer when I was off of work and then shuffle him. I bought the book and literally within 4 days he was not eating at all at night and waking maybe once a night, but then going back to sleep within 2 minutes. I can't express what a HUGE difference it has made. I joke because I LOVE the sleep lady so much that I feel like I'm trying to sell a pyramid scheme when I talk about her.

[MsSassyBaskets]

So I downloaded the book and I haven't had a chance to do more than skim it yet... But the last few days she's been basically putting herself to sleep. It takes a while and she does have a pacifier, but I don't have to be in there. If I do sit in the room, I don't have to soothe her. So I think for the shuffle to even be relevant, I have to get rid of the pacifier. And oh I am not looking forward to that! Do you think I could give it to her at first and then just not give it back when she spits it out? Or do I have to cold turkey it?

I'm also torn on whether I want to do the shuffle in the middle of the night, or continue to feed her once. I know babies are fine to go that long without eating, but with my iffy supply and her being on the lower end weight-wise I just don't know if I want to do that yet.

[MsSassyBaskets]

But despite her easy bedtime, she just woke up for the second time...

[SoonerTexan]

So I downloaded the book and I haven't had a chance to do more than skim it yet... But the last few days she's been basically putting herself to sleep. It takes a while and she does have a pacifier, but I don't have to be in there. If I do sit in the room, I don't have to soothe her. So I think for the shuffle to even be relevant, I have to get rid of the pacifier. And oh I am not looking forward to that! Do you think I could give it to her at first and then just not give it back when she spits it out? Or do I have to cold turkey it?

I'm also torn on whether I want to do the shuffle in the middle of the night, or continue to feed her once. I know babies are fine to go that long without eating, but with my iffy supply and her being on the lower end weight-wise I just don't know if I want to do that yet

In that case, I'd count yourself lucky. She's doing the hardest part for you. Where it will be helpful is the reallly reallly reallllllly painful part...doing it in the middle of the night. I don't think you need to get rid of the pacifier either. "Baby" J is still using it at 17 months. We plan to phase it out over the next few months. But you certainly don't have to make it painful for the whole process to work

I also keep nursing for another month or two (but remember, we started at 10/11 months and weaned at 12 months). She's pretty young and I think you have good reasons for wanting her to keep nursing at night. But maybe getting it down to once or even twice is what you are after. I was trying to get a serial grazer who had a hard time going down at bedtime out of my bed. Don't be afraid to go slow, or mix it up either. We never got to the point of leaving him completely--I still sit in the room while he goes to sleep. We rock for a few minutes, he goes into the crib without a fuss, and falls asleep on his own within 10-15 minutes max. That was enough for me.

[ladymoreta]

She might be able to replace her pacifier herself. Instead of putting it in her mouth, do you let her do it? Put it near her hand during the day, but not in it, and see if she can get it in. If so, scatter her crib with a whole bunch of them, like 10 or so, so there's no question of her being able to find one.

It sounds like you're not having a big sleep association problem, since she's already going to sleep on her own. That's fantastic! Definitely work on getting her to grab a pacifier on her own - maybe even put it in her hand when she wakes up overnight, so she starts trying to do it herself.

She may be legitimately hungry overnight. I hate to say cut out feedings if you're not sure she doesn't need them. If you're not sure, definitely try other soothing methods first.

[MsSassyBaskets]

The pacifier problem is that she can't get it in her mouth on her own her without a lot of focus, and she usually can't find and grab it wherever it is... But even if the thing is in her hand, her hit rate is about the 10%. She definitely can't handle it when drowsy in the middle of the night. And for 1-2 of her wakings, just replacing the pacifier and holding her hands doesn't cut it and I have to nurse her, even if it's not for very long. She may be actually hungry. So I was thinking the best way of figuring that out would be to get her to put herself to sleep without the plug. I don't know. I'm just tired and desperate.

[alotofyarn]

I had a while where E was waking up several times and I wasn't sure if she wanted to nurse because she was hungry or just for comfort. I'd hold her and put in the pacifier, and if that calmed her, she just wanted comfort, but if she was still rooting, I'd nurse her. We eventually got to the point where I'd replace the pacifier and hold her for about a minute then put her back down and leave. I'd let her cry for maybe a few minutes, then repeat the whole process. It took a few long, exhausting nights, but it did eventually work, and she's been sleeping like a dream for a while now. She was the same where she went down pretty easily from an early age, but the waking were harder.

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[OrionGrad]

I'm also torn on whether I want to do the shuffle in the middle of the night, or continue to feed her once. I know babies are fine to go that long without eating, but with my iffy supply and her being on the lower end weight-wise I just don't know if I want to do that yet.

There's a whole section of the book where she talks about nursing at night. You don't have to give it up at night to use the SLS. She offers a couple different options of things to try.

[MsSassyBaskets]

So I think one of the biggest problems is the pacifier. She spits it out or pulls it out at least a dozen times a night, and it's a huge sleep association for her and she can't get back to sleep without it. This seems like the main thing I need to tackle so I guess I'll start with that and continue to night feed at her usual times for right now. Once she learns to sleep without it, we'll see if the night feedings stick around. This is not going to be fun.