Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

I agree that it is hard to motivate or direct changes without a reward. A job well done sometimes is not reward enough. I hear you. It seems like the reward gets to be such a big deal in his classroom, maybe too much. But what do you do when that is the class he is in? Did someone mention having your own treasure chest at home? Maybe try that will make the teacher's seem less important. (bwahahaha)

Actually, DC JEnn did mention that! Isn't she going to be an AWESOME mom of school aged Nikolai!? We'll have something... We just need to get over this focus on the classroom treasure chest- I'll be sure that mine is much better!!! And then I can take it away when he's over it. The Green Apple thing is sure to get old to all the kids in the class. There will probably be a mass rebellion in the next few weeks as kids just don't see the point anymore... I just don't want him so worried/distracted by it that he feels like he needs to take something out of it. That is the place where he is right now- like a dog obsession over the pot roast sitting on the kitchen counter within an easy jump. And no owner watching him. I need to redirect his focus, that's all...

Sucks that it can't just be about the learning...

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

There will probably be a mass rebellion in the next few weeks as kids just don't see the point anymore...

That would be so great. It first grade, after all! Can't the teacher try to have everyone get some sort of reward? A week is a long time for a first grader.

I guess I have to be honest and say that I am not above bribery (or rewards *cough*). We've had the sleep fairy visit, done sticker or star charts, etc. But it seems like this teacher's reward system isn't working for anyone.

[houseelf]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

I agree that it is hard to motivate or direct changes without a reward. A job well done sometimes is not reward enough. I hear you. It seems like the reward gets to be such a big deal in his classroom, maybe too much. But what do you do when that is the class he is in?

Don't get me wrong, I too have relied on external rewards for tasks that are just not a lot of fun but have to get done. I just believe this should be minimized as much as possible. I don't know if it is working or not, but I keep on asking DS if he is giving his school work his best effort. (I hear that there is a lot of dinking going on and I know he did more work per day last year). Apparently my son needs a foot up his butt more than a child like Brynn. But this is an entirely different conversation with many different layers.

I've offered a $10 premium for completion of 100 math facts in 5 minutes for each of the four basic operations. I *get* that sitting down to flashcards isn't anyone's idea of fun. I really struggled with this because this is the first of many mundane lists of marginalia that he will have to commit to memory in the years to come. It took a couple weeks, but it dawned on me that this may just be one of the areas where I can bend this basic principle.

Kelly

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Well, today I told them that they would get 10 M&Ms or a cookie when they came home from school if they didn't get a yellow apple (they only get an apple when they do bad things- those get sent home right away. A green apple, however, they only get after a week of NOT getting a yellow or red apple -- I'm learning the system). So, they were fine, no stealing, and I asked Steven if he was even thinking about the things in the treasure chest, and he said no. He wasn't interested in the toys anymore. But he was interested in his M&Ms...

We'll see if they last the week...

Kelly, I hated the flashcard thing. They didn't drill math facts at school at all, they just assumed that the parents did it at home. Which, in our school, only about 25% of the parents did. kate was so hard to get to do the flash cards. We resorted to some type of bribery... I'm pretty sure it was money. We had her on Monday go through the flashcards for about 10 minutes, and then we "tested" her. We took the stack and timed her. For every wrong answer, we added 5 seconds to her final time. Then she had to beat her time as the week went on (which meant, increase her accuracy) and she ended up earning the difference in money between the first time and the last time (so if she went from 3 minutes 5 seconds to 1 minute 2 seconds she earned $2.03). (I know, 1 second = 1/60th of a minute does not equal 1/100th of a dollar, but hey.)

Anyway, we did that for a few weeks, and then she got it. And we moved on. I hate flashcards! Sometimes I feel like after school all I do is my kids' homework. Today I went from helping Kate at the computer, to the dining room table with Isabel and her math, to the couch with Steven and his reading, for like 1 hour. While Luke was outside eating dirt, most likely. There is a lot of homework.

[planet]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

I haven't read all of the posts in this thread so perhaps this is furthering a tangent....

I am totally not above bribery, but take it situationally. My take home lesson from school was that grades and learning are not necessarily interchangeable. For the more mundane things like flash cards (for us it would be the dolch words right now) we just make it more of a game. Even with math and boring rote I think it can be spiced up with meaning. I hated math for most of my school career because it lacked meaning. I keep hoping that I'll have better luck using some methods learned from programs I like (but I'm sure I'll have plenty of failures first).

Frankly, bribing for behavior in the classroom with a toy chest sounds like a weak excuse for a lack of leadership. And sometimes the grades are just stupid. My neice had a preschool teacher who gave grades, gave her a B, and told my SIL that neice's performance was perfect, but they don't believe in giving out A's so young. WTF? So, let's teach them that they'll be rated, but never able to really succeed? Whatever. I have so much trouble with the social pressure that is put on us as parents to have perfectly behaved children within systems that often give conflicting messages. I get that part of growing up is learning to navigate the expectations, but in a situation like yours Peggy, How can you not use a tangible reward/punishment system at home when it is the classroom method? Have you talked about how he feels about this sytem? If he thinks it is doled out fairly? If he sees or sense the teacher uses it improperly or that he cannot keep up with the expectations? Maybe there's more going on than him just feeling like taking a toy. :huh:

[houseelf]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Taking this to a tangent to talk about things relevant to ME, ME, ME (and really why do we talk about anything else but me ?) I just purchased this to try to jazz up our math fact learning process:

Math Mat Challenge Game:

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resource ... 217&sr=8-1

and

Factor Frenzy Game (same concept just multiplication and division)

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resource ... 217&sr=8-1

I'm hoping that this is the cure for my little spaz who loathes sitting down to flashcards.

Kelly

[planet]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Hey Kelly, let's talk about YOu for a change, shall we!

If your son likes computer time (not to cause a fight over the desktop or anything :P ) he might like this for operations:
http://www.homeschoolmath.net/operation-game.php

When we find our groove I'll post our curriculum and links too.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

I have so much trouble with the social pressure that is put on us as parents to have perfectly behaved children within systems that often give conflicting messages. I get that part of growing up is learning to navigate the expectations, but in a situation like yours Peggy, How can you not use a tangible reward/punishment system at home when it is the classroom method? Have you talked about how he feels about this sytem? If he thinks it is doled out fairly? If he sees or sense the teacher uses it improperly or that he cannot keep up with the expectations? Maybe there's more going on than him just feeling like taking a toy. :huh:

I will have to ask him, and Isabel, too since she's in there. At first when they got to choose a toy (everyone got a green apple the first week) they both thought it was great. Clearly, they didn't understand why they got a toy. The school already has a "berry cents" program in place where the kids earn these tickets for being good, and then can buy toys at the "berry cents" store after school. I don't know why they need another source of toys, really. Or any for that matter. This school just has an affinity for bribery...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Taking this to a tangent to talk about things relevant to ME, ME, ME (and really why do we talk about anything else but me ?) I just purchased this to try to jazz up our math fact learning process:

Math Mat Challenge Game:

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resource ... 217&sr=8-1

and

Factor Frenzy Game (same concept just multiplication and division)

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resource ... 217&sr=8-1

I'm hoping that this is the cure for my little spaz who loathes sitting down to flashcards.

Kelly

Kelly, I have to say I love where your tangents go!

These games look awesome! I am going to add them to my "wishlist". I'll have to look up the computer game, too, but...

I do not like to share the computer

[planet]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Well, that link I posted is just for operations and kind of lame, not really a game so much. Not worth sharing the computer IMO. But I share for this:
http://ksnn.larc.nasa.gov/k2/k2_math.html

And
http://saxonpublishers.harcourtachieve. ... =M&user=sa

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Peggy, I'm going to challenge your title.

Tangent...

This morning Anna wanted to go play with the neighbor. I told her no, that the neighbor was at school, and went back to what I was doing. I had a friend over here and we were trying to figure out the school auction software. Distracted. And I think I said something about being quiet because the baby was sleeping. Then I noticed that is was indeed very quiet and went upstairs to find the front door open a crack. Couldn't find her in the house. I ran outside and realized that she probably went over to the neighbors house. The mom asked her "Does your mommy know you are here?" Anna: "uh.....huh, yes." She said she would bet $100 I did not know because....Anna wasn't wearing any pants.

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Hey - cut yourself some slack! You found her on your first try!

[houseelf]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Anna: "uh.....huh, yes." She said she would bet $100 I did not know because....Anna wasn't wearing any pants.

Hey, I always say, pants are overrated. Just look at all the starlets.

RE: games for Math. If I could embed math curriculum in Mario Kart on his DS, I would. He'd be well on his way to becoming the next Nobel Laureaute winner for math. (Where does he get his addictive/OCD trait from?) He could really go over the edge with video games if I let him, but that would be like a tangent on a tangent.

Kelly

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

So, to hijak the hijak (ha ha ha!!) I did ask Steven about the whole treasure box thing yesterday. He said, with a big sigh, "Can we just not talk about it anymore..." And so I asked Isabel what she thought the treasure chest was for, and she said, "To get toys out of it". And I said, "Does it make you want to behave?" And they both started laughing hysterically. They thought I was being silly- like I had said the cow says oink or something equally hilarious.

So, as far as a reward system goes... if my kids aren't making the link after all the discussions we have had, are any of the kids?? And another kid "stole" something yesterday- not from the treasure chest, but from another kid's desk. It was a hand clapper thing. Why would they have a hand clapper thing in school? I have no idea. But apparently "stealing" is quite the thing now.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Give the loser parent of the year award to ME

Peggy, I'm going to challenge your title.

Tangent...

This morning Anna wanted to go play with the neighbor. I told her no, that the neighbor was at school, and went back to what I was doing. I had a friend over here and we were trying to figure out the school auction software. Distracted. And I think I said something about being quiet because the baby was sleeping. Then I noticed that is was indeed very quiet and went upstairs to find the front door open a crack. Couldn't find her in the house. I ran outside and realized that she probably went over to the neighbors house. The mom asked her "Does your mommy know you are here?" Anna: "uh.....huh, yes." She said she would bet $100 I did not know because....Anna wasn't wearing any pants.

Nellie- have you ever read the book "No David!"? It is a kids book- and in part of the book David runs out to school without his pants on. Anyway, it's funny because I usually ask the kids "what is wrong with the picture" or "what is David doing that is wrong" and they never got that he was supposed to be wearing his pants! Even though the book has the mom running after him holding the pants! Maybe it's just a Kid Thing!