a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

[rainbabies]

soooo....you know those *awesome* red marks ds gets on his papers?
ex: first day of school...he traced the capitol and lower case L's three times instead of the directed once.

he comes home with red markes on his papers everyday. they're correcting his name, his letters, circling errors, etc. this has upset dh and i. (i know, you seasoned parents prolly think we're pathetic )

FINALLY! last friday, he only had one red mark, and a GREAT JOB! stamp on his paper!! :rah: ds!!

:rah: mommy for sitting down, reading the directions 5000 times and erasing his O's until the paper almost tore...just so my kid didn't get the dreaded RED PEN all over his papers.

so...my aunt was a teacher for 45 years. my bff was a teacher for 10 years and has 4 kids of her own in various grades. my friend here, her mom is a K and first grade teacher.

(how to piss of my ds's teacher??)

-by telling her that my aunt says to have a conference
-that my bff says, WTH, it's Kinder???
-and my firends mom, who teaches K in the same county says, "no red pens. we're not to use those anymore. and, you're only to point out the correct things a child does...to encourage him/her"


so...while all of those comments makes my pathetic self feel a bit better...i actually have to disagree with my friends mom and the "no red pen, only point out what's right" comment.

and, as annoyed as i am with the constant correction of ds's papers, wth has happened to our schools? no correction? only the correct things to be circled? how politically correct is that?


*sigh* i can't believe that i'm having these 'issues' (my own issues ) and it's only going into the third week of K.

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

It's all so conflicting, isn't it!

When DS1 and 2 were in early grades, I took every negative thing (and there were many...most were centered around disorganization) so personally...on the other side though, they have the whole "no one left behind' thing here so that NO one fails a grade....now that the boys are in grades 6 and 7 I see the results. DS1 has a littl boy in his class who can't read...not a thing! Also not good....what's going to happen to this poor kid in HS?

Hang in there and try to keep your spirit and will to live as long as you can

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

It does seem harsh so far. This is the first year where Jacob is really getting stuff marked, and even now it's NOT in red pen (which threw me), and instead of an X, she circles the mistake or problem # (which threw me even more).

I'm not opposed to red pen or X's ... but ease a kid into it for the love of pete!

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

I would say it's time for a conference, too. They (parent conferences) should be coming up pretty soon? You can tell Mrs. Marks that this is a concern of yours and also find out if this is something you should expect for the rest of the year. Ask her if your ds is receiving a comparable number of marks to the other students in the class, that way she can't later in the year and out of the blue say that he's getting these b/c he's not paying attention.

[Vanquisher]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

I am not opposed to correcting a child either, but his teacher does seem to use her red pen excessively.

I remember when I got stamps as a kid. Those were the best!



Maybe his K teacher could use some of these for the holidays.

[poky]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

I'm not opposed to red pen or X's ... but ease a kid into it for the love of pete!

And, gee, maybe if there's a kid (or kids) who are consistently having problems getting things "right"...try to figure out where your instructions might not be clear enough, maybe? Or try to figure out WHY they got it "wrong", and address that problem in a note to the parents, rather than marking up the paper - it's not like kids at that age are doing their homework on their own anyway; it's not the kid's fault if the teacher's instructions aren't clear enough for the parents to understand!

ETA: I love the stamps Heidi posted!

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

WTH?? He's in KINDERGARTEN!!

Granted, I haven't taught school in 13 years, and I taught high school, so maybe I'm not the world's foremost authority, but--if I recall my early education classes in college correctly--from a pedagogical point of view, this is a total mis-fire. The teacher's technique seems really age-inappropriate. (And, as a side note: I'm NOT a coddler. I'm not one of those people who thinks that education should be all about your self-esteem and feeling confident and not about actually learning something to base all that bloated self-confidence on.)

I'd be concerned, too. The lesson he's going to learn is that he can't do anything right and school isn't fun. Little ones don't feel encouraged to improve when they can't conceptualize being able to achieve success. You've got to show them their strengths so they know that they can meet challenges and improve.

I might start doing FUN learning activities at home (coloring, maze games, whatever) and then reward him with the encouragement he's missing at school. That pack of stamps that Heidi Vanquisher showed would be great, or stickers, etc. And when he brings home a project from school that is all red-marked, ignore the red-marks and talk to him about the things he did right on the project.

And see if you can get him transferred to a different class. My sister had a similar type of teacher when she was in the first grade. My sister--who is, literally, a genius by IQ points and ended up skipping a grade and later won a full ride to college and then a full ride to law school--was almost destroyed by this teacher. She hated school and felt like she could do nothing right--because she didn't COLOR the way the teacher wanted her to. The teacher tortured her for not complying with nonacademic requirements (my poor, BORED sister) and blew off the fact that she was doing fifth grade math and aced every test she ever took. The teacher even tried to keep her out of her gifted & talent pull-out sessions. My sister left first grade feeling like she was personally unlikeable and scholastically untalented. Seriously, it was very formative on her self-perception.

[rainbabies]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

thanks everyone. i feel like it's just my kid. i don't know the other parents, so i can't compare :huh: i want ds to have a positive experince...but i fear going to the teacher will really 'hurt' ds. she seems, to me anyway, very unapproachable. if anything does get said to her, i def want it to me...and NOT dh. he has a very, um...forward way of saying things. me...i'm the nice, likeable one.

do you think sending in a note (aka:avoiding as much as possible) would be a bad idea?

i'm not just saying this because he is my kid, but quite honestly, i don't think his writing is all that bad. :huh: he LOVES to draw, write, color, paint. he will write anything you spell out for him...coppying thing letter for letter and will free hand pictures from magazines. i always know what the words say...and i know what the pictures are.

ds is very tightly wound, he is a worrier. i almost wish he had a more cuddly type of teacher. dd#1 on the other hand....i might wish she has this current teacher next year. she is a pistol.

*sigh* i just want a positive first year.

[HouseofWool]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

And see if you can get him transferred to a different class. My sister had a similar type of teacher when she was in the first grade. My sister--who is, literally, a genius by IQ points and ended up skipping a grade and later won a full ride to college and then a full ride to law school--was almost destroyed by this teacher. She hated school and felt like she could do nothing right--because she didn't COLOR the way the teacher wanted her to. The teacher tortured her for not complying with nonacademic requirements (my poor, BORED sister) and blew off the fact that she was doing fifth grade math and aced every test she ever took. The teacher even tried to keep her out of her gifted & talent pull-out sessions. My sister left first grade feeling like she was personally unlikeable and scholastically untalented. Seriously, it was very formative on her self-perception.

Wow - It is easy to see that we were totally spoiled last year with a fantastic teacher. Already this year, I am not as thrilled with this one, but we shall see.

Sylvia, I would definately try to schedule a conference or a quick phone call. It would be helpful to know if this is the standard grading method for her or if she is being particularly harsh towards your child. If you aren't satisfied, I would also bring it up to the principal. In kindergarden, the whole point is to give them some basic academics, but mostly teach them the rules of school and that learning can be fun. I would be very frustrated and concerned if I were in your shoes.

[rainbabies]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

when i picked ds up from school today, i was anxious to see what was waiting in his little folder. i looked at his work, and behold! he only had a few things corrected...and they were in a light pink.

i thought, maybe i would not do the letter thing...then, when i was talking to ds about his teacher he mentioned that she wasnt there today. "we had ms. sara today, mommy"

well, that would explain the light pink.

[rainbabies]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

ok.

i typed up a letter, dh proofed it and was going to print it at work (our printer is still dead) after he revised it... he came home without it. he thought i was kissing her ass too much and being too passive. i admit i was, but i didn't want to piss her off. dh said he would write a letter, or go speak to her if i didn't. the last thing i need is captain asshole (aka:military assertive) talking to our ds's teacher.

sooo....i went in this morning all ready to talk to her...and she wasn't there. again. this is day 3 not being there. i talked to the aid instead. she has probably just as much experince as the teacher, and i see more of her than the actual teacher. :huh:

i mentioned the red markings, how ds is a worrier, how we do want him to know his mistakes but also get POSITVE reinforcement. i asked if he was behind, or right on target, explained that he loves writing, drawing and reading books with dh and i. i asked if he seemed to be listening.

she replied that he is right on target, that he is always smiling, always pays attention, and that his mistakes are just as common as the other kids. she said that when they (teachers) hand out the work, the mistakes are explained to them, one by one...around the room and that ds should be hearing that things are being pointed out to other kids. she also said that they're very quick to give lots of feedback for positive things.

*sigh* i feel better...and only hope that the devil RED PEN settles down as the year progresses.

i made sure i thanked the aid for taking the time to speak with me, and that we're just looking for a positive experience, not a crushing experience his first year in school. she seemed to understand...and not too pissed off.

[SuzySunshine]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

Good for you for talking to her - I hope the red pen gets better.

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

Well done Sylvia. Maybe you could suggest to your son that Red might be her favorite color??? :huh: It's great to hear he's on target and getting along well in the classroom!

[PrincessFiona]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

I am not opposed to correcting a child either, but his teacher does seem to use her red pen excessively.

I remember when I got stamps as a kid. Those were the best!



Maybe his K teacher could use some of these for the holidays.

:> Heidi, my dear. I am going to have you pick out all of my holiday gifts for people this year!

[PrincessFiona]

Re: a sure fire way to piss of your kids Kinder teacher

Sylvia,

The more kids that I have in school, the ummm...less advice I have for you. I progressively know less about the best ways to handle these things as the years go by. It's so tough to separate out the emotional "I love my kid" from the redpennazi teacher thing.

I don't know what I would do. It's doubtful that anything that you say will change how she does things...she's got her own system, I'm sure...it might make you feel slightly better temporarily.

I think...talking with your son about it and providing encouragement at home is the best bet.

hugs,

Kris