Is preschool *really* necessary?

[HouseofWool]

When I was growing up adjusting to both 1 & 2 was what kindergarten was for.

Not so much anymore. The academics are increasing even in kindergarden.

[PrincessFiona]

I would say ... not necessarily... and agree a lot with most of what everyone else has written.

The only warning I might add is that ... Natalie has already had the chance to learn to play with her peers and enjoy that time. She may be ready for a lot more socializing now and it could be hard for her to come and stay home ... especially if you are bringing a new child into the fold who will need attention. So...it might actually be better for Natalie (in my opinion) to have a few hours of preschool for herself. I know that for you it is important to have this time at home with her. Maybe now is a good time to stop working. You could have your alone time with her before the new child gets here, enroll her in preschool a few mornings a week so that she can have fun with her friends and you can have some alone bonding time with the new child...

To me...that seems to be win-win.

Zoe is 3 and she is starting preschool in the Fall. It isn't for a break for me necessarily...though I'm sure that the breather will do me good...she is just at a point of being ready and eager to play with other "friends". This Spring, I put her in an inhome childcare situation one morning a week or so in order to get my break. It turned out to be a real gift for her. She has always been the baby in our house and the lady that we did daycare with had 4 other girls her age and younger. Zoe turned into the doting little mother. There is another 3 year old across the road and Zoe lives for those playdates with her now.

I think it's important to look at what Natalies needs are ... Does she enjoy her time with her friends at daycare? Is she getting something out of having that time that is joyful to her? Would it benefit her to have a fun place to go and play and learn when you bring home a new sibling that will compete with her for attention? Preschool is just a few hours a week and I do think it can be an effective tool for socializing and letting children learn to develop and grow with mom or dad not there to watch each move and intervene. Natalie has been in daycare, so she has had that...but she might miss out on spending time with friends and the routine of her day that she is used to.

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

When I was growing up adjusting to both 1 & 2 was what kindergarten was for.

Not anymore. Children in our school district are expected to be reading chapter books before entering first grade. I think it's ridiculous to be honest. Andrew was still in the "learn to read in 1st grade" camp and it sure didn't hold him back. Alex was one of the kids affected by the ushering in of the new standards and to this day he will tell you that he hates reading...because it was forced down his throat.

Kris

[madeintaiwan]

I have to agree with Rapunzel. Being one of the oldest in the family, I've been around to see and hear [and help] about the school experiences of most of the kids in our family [and I have a degree in human development and education] and I have yet to be blown away with what is considered the "norm" for curriculum and developmental expectations in kindergarten. Children don't need pre-school and kindergarten doesn't really "count" for that reason. There are plenty of activities other than pre-school that children can gain experience with group dynamics and being separated from caregivers. Play dates, play grounds, dance, gymnastics, sports, music class, mom's day out, or going to the kids' center at the gym while mom works out. Individual temperament counts for something, but group exposure and being away from caregivers is just that and can be achieved through countless avenues.

[madeintaiwan]

Not anymore. Children in our school district are expected to be reading chapter books before entering first grade. I think it's ridiculous to be honest. Andrew was still in the "learn to read in 1st grade" camp and it sure didn't hold him back. Alex was one of the kids affected by the ushering in of the new standards and to this day he will tell you that he hates reading...because it was forced down his throat.

Kris

I agree that it's a little ridiculous, but it's just a general goal. There will always be kids who can, kids who can kind of, and kids who can't at all by the end of the year. With rare exceptions they ALL get to go to first grade regardless what they can do.

[Pollyanna]

Not anymore. Children in our school district are expected to be reading chapter books before entering first grade. I think it's ridiculous to be honest. Andrew was still in the "learn to read in 1st grade" camp and it sure didn't hold him back. Alex was one of the kids affected by the ushering in of the new standards and to this day he will tell you that he hates reading...because it was forced down his throat.

Kris

Holy moly!! None of our kiddos have read until somewhere in the middle of first grade. They just were not ready or interested. We would be in huge trouble.

I honestly just don't get the rush for children to learn. Seriously, what is the difference if they are reading at 6 or 8 for that matter? School just annoys the hell out of me sometimes.

[SuzySunshine]

We have decided that we will put Adele in pre-school our last year here, she will 2 years and 8 months when it starts and it will just be 1/2 days 2-3 days/week. I'm still debating between two schools and this will mean she'll have 3 years of pre-school before kindergarten but she's never been in a childcare situation other then a few hours here and there when I go to the gym or bible study. Baby M II will be 9 months old so it will be some nice time for us as well.

I think kids will learn at their own pace whether they learn at home or at school and you just have to make the decision that is right for your particular kid and family. And that may be different from kid to kid as well.

[PrincessFiona]

Insert smiley of me beating my head against the wall until it bleeds. Are all kids promoted to first grade? If you can't meet the goals our district does summer school with the kindergarteners. Oh. And Alex went to preschool that was non-academic 3 mornings a week and then 1 year of Montessori kindergarten. He only got 1 year of the Montessori cycle and wasn't reading. In 1st grade he was placed in Title 1 services for 2 months until he was reading (and hating it).

We didn't make the same mistake with Aidan. He has done 2 years of Montessori and is about to enter his final year of Montessori for kindergarten. He is already reading chapter books and loving it.

There is a reason that I recoil at our school district.

[madeintaiwan]

Kris,
Your school district sounds crazy. I know in CA you have to have parental consent to hold a child back. It seems to be the general consensus from the teachers I know in various states [not yours] that it is VERY hard [and frustrating] to hold a child back even if they need to be.

[Pollyanna]

Geez, kinders having to take summer school? That is nuts!

Wow! Reading all this makes me want to homeschool

Summer school? For kindergarten?

[moonlight]

Ok, lets just make the kids feel like losers before they even get to first grade. Good grief.

[PrincessFiona]

Actually, it just makes the parents feel like losers. LOL The kids generally speaking think that they are getting to do some fun extra camp. They at least DO try to make it fun.

Our district has become a little crazy about early reading. Alex went to a fun preschool that wasn't academic. He only spent one year in the Montessori Kindergarten before entering first grade. They actually put him in Title 1 for a couple of months because he wasn't reading yet at the level that they wanted. It was weird! Very. He knew all of the sounds the letters made and could sound out many words, but he didn't have the special sight words memorized like purple, orange, etc, etc. He did know words like the or what.

I couldn't get over the fact that they considered that to be a special education need. Seriously...Andrew wasn't reading until into first grade and he is my truly academic child now. It seems like there is such a rush to get kids reading early now and I just don't know why.

I know this is totally off topic from the original post though.


Kris

[DCJenn]

Ok- I'm going to come at this from a completely different perspective- as the parent of a kid who has come home from Russia.

They come from such completely regimented lives that I found that the more we stuck to the same schedule every day, the better off we were (and are- he's my camp counselor, even today- he has our whole day planned each and every day)

My advice is come up with a plan that will work for you once ES comes home. Natalie may really want to be there but if she's started preschool before ES comes home then she won't connect the two. ES will be needy- but in a "really? I can have X whenever I want it?" kind of way. They're little sponges of EVERYTHING for about the first 8 months after arrival- food, time, affection, sleep, etc. Nikolai still needs alone time- and cracked up laughing for the first week at home when he realized that no one else was in his crib!

I asked the translator to get the daily schedule from the orphanage and damned if I didn't stick pretty closely to it for the first few months- eating times, snack times, nap times. I really think it helped the adjustment. We also kept really close to home for the first year or so. I think we went out without him just once- on our anniversary and we had my brother watch him (and we didn't leave the house until he was asleep)

Jenn