Is preschool *really* necessary?

[GrayMatterWife]

Holy moly!! None of our kiddos have read until somewhere in the middle of first grade. They just were not ready or interested. We would be in huge trouble.

I honestly just don't get the rush for children to learn. Seriously, what is the difference if they are reading at 6 or 8 for that matter? School just annoys the hell out of me sometimes.

Part of the reason we are switching DS's school is the hyper-obsessiveness about some parents about their kids be academically advanced. DS went to a private school here in STL for pre-K this year. LOVED the teachers. LOVED the resources. LOVED the fact that there was a school nurse on the premises (DS get injured...a lot...). LOVED its focus on early reading skills acquisition.

HATED the competitiveness among...the parents. Seriously. Insane. So not into that.

DH didn't learn to read until first grade, and wasn't much of a student until middle school. And he became a neurosurgeon. I really don't think that it is necessary to take your kid from full day pre-K to after-school tutoring to learn to read. You're just going to stress them out, I think. Be involved, be encouraging, LIMIT TV, and READ A LOT YOURSELF, and the kids will be fine. But that's just me. I was really in the minority at DS's pre-K school.

I confided to a friend of mine here about my concerns--but worried that my feelings were going to be read as though I was setting low expectations (or that my kid would look "stupid"--which is NOT the case--DS is actually very bright). My friend totally understood and tipped me off to a Catholic parish school that is kind of a "best kept secret" sort of thing. I went there and fell in love. Not only did it provide the religious education I was looking for, and had strong academics, but things seemed significantly more...me. No one was talking about having their kids start Cantonese after their fencing lessons, and no one was talking about starting to contribute to the Harvard alumni fund, to "reserve" a spot for their tot in 2020. I've got my fingers crossed for kindergartner this August.

But, I have to tell you, I was treated like a social pariah for having switched DS from the private school to the parochial school. People were puzzled, if not outright rude. Why on earth would you do that? One woman said, "Oh, well, the school is pretty expensive. Of course, we prioritize education first..." As if (1) I couldn't afford to continue DS's education at that school, or (2) even if I could, I was too selfish to fork out the dough!! Um, no. That's not it. Yeah, there's a big difference in tuition (about $12K a year), but if I was certain that the private school was a better choice for DS, I would pay for it over the parish school. It's like she was putting me down so that she could feel better about her choice.

Finally, I just started telling people, "We're switching him because a religious education is a priority to us." Most people have enough couthe to keep any negative thoughts on this reasoning to themselves. Except for one woman, who said, "Oh! That's really quaint! Err...cute. Uhhh...I just didn't know anyone did that anymore--pick a school for religious reasons. I mean, education is so important. We wouldn't sacrifice that." DS's pre-K private school was very...?? exclusive??, I guess. So, I think what she meant was that she wouldn't change to a religious school and sacrifice the status. And there's no doubt, it is a lowering of social status in this town.

[DCJenn]

Abigail-

Don't stress- because I got that from the Crunchy School people but opposite- "oh. Really? You're sending him to public school?" from the very group who didn't file their taxes for 4 years. I'm all about tree-hugging, yoga and Spanish classes but I was so over the "we're so laid back and happy here, and we don't worry about curricula for the older children because we're all about the individual child."

There are parents there who REFUSE to allow their child to do homework. I get that there's an overload of homework in some school districts but NO homework? Even artists have to figure out how to work under pressure for Pete's sake.

Dude got a fab pre-school education and exposure to all kinds of cool stuff and I will put him in their summer program until he refuses but no, my kid is going to a school with teachers who are currently licensed and if we should move, should be able to easily transfer his information. (my friends who just moved to Boulder- have NO idea how their daughter who is theoretically in second grade this year is going to do- because they're not entirely sure what she learned last year. The teacher decided to hold off on double digit addition because some of the other kids didn't like it...No Lie.)

Sorry for the hijack, Kate- please refer to my previous post.

Jenn

jenn -- there are a couple of schools in Boulder that would bwe a seamless transition.

[samssugarmomma]

Thank you guys for the awesome replies! You've certainly given me a lot to think about. I asked Natalie what she wanted to do (go to preschool or stay home) and her response "Stay home with you and ES, go to the museum, go to the library, go to the park, play with ES, and make cookies." hee hee hee

Jenn - thanks for the perspective on what life will be like for ES - I have more questions about that. I'll try to gather them into thoughts that make sense and PM you.

Kate

[DCJenn]

Ask away! I think my experiences are similar to those of other parents of kids who have lived in congregate settings. I think in some ways they have an easier time than kids like those from Korea and Guatemala who live with one foster family the entire time and then BAM- Foster mom hands them over to these new people. That's gotta suck.

Jenn

[scrub-jay]

Be involved, be encouraging, LIMIT TV, and READ A LOT YOURSELF, and the kids will be fine. But that's just me. I was really in the minority at DS's pre-K school.

Good for you, I think you get what is really important here. Although my bit of support won't cancel out the rest of the flack - here is my token support:





-C