Down with the goody bags!!!

[migirl]

I put hot cocoa in a goody bag for Jack's birthday party one year!

[peggyfromwastate]

Our teachers give out goody bags... Usually they have flashcards, but usually something fun too. And instead of Valentines day cards, many kids give out goody bags. And every class party, there's a goody bag.

It honestly does not bother me to have these goody bags. The kids are excited by them... They are fun. For our own parties, my kids have a lot of fun picking out the toys that go in the goody bags, and if I give out candy (which I have before) it's a few pieces of the birthday kids' favorite candy. Like 3 Jolly Ranchers.

I can not remember a birthday party where we did not get a goody bag. Even my sister gave my kids them when we went to the family birthday party for my niece.

I just don't get worked up about it I guess.

I guess I don't qualify for the commune. Sigh...

[Deebs]

Goody bags have been big everywhere we've lived. I do a gift, but not goody bag. One year, DD had a "Mickey Mouse" b-day party - I got the boys the mini stuffed Mickeys and the girls Minnies (Disney store has great sales and negotiated with me to save more). This year, I did puzzles from the dollar store. We've also had pinatas at some parties and then, whatever the kids get from that is the goody bag. This year's was definitely the cheapest (even trash and trinkets end up more than $1/kid) and very popular. No goody bags also means one less thing to remember to bring to the place of the party.

[MrsK]

Historically, the purpose of goody bags/party favors and, really, the whole concept of a child's party is to teach children how to be gracious hosts and guests. The birthday boy is not the "guest of honor" but rather the host and he sends his guests away with a gift to thank them. However, the whole concept has devolved into a big "gimmee" fest. The birthday boy demands gifts and whines when they are not what he wanted. The guests ask for the goodie bags and complain if they don't like them. I've been to many parties where children have done this. (Same thing has happened with weddings too. Rather than hosting their guests, bridezillas - and groomzillas too - make all sorts of outrageous demands for "my special day" and guests compare and critique everything.) Also, I think the invite-the-whole-class concept has contributed to this too. Children that are rude are entitled to be invited back anyway so there is no incentive be polite. No body learns anything except how to shake down their friends and acquaintances for more stuff.

That said, I do think that it is nice to send guests away with a small token. I'm not a fan of the plastic baggie of nickel toys and candy. Perhaps a craft item that they made at the party OR an all-day sucker OR a single small toy (like Jenn's lego sets) OR pencils would be nice. I once had a party where I invited a few girls over and my mom taught them how to dip chocolates. They all got to take home a small box of chocolate covered pretzles, carmels, and fruit. It's been 25 years and those girls (now women) still talk about it. I also think it is absolutely necessary to RSVP to all invitations whether attending or not, to write thank you notes, and not to bring uninvited siblings or guests to the party.

What can I say? I'm a Victorian.

[houseelf]

Lest I sound like a complete nutjob over a box of crackerjacks and a bouncy ball, I should explain. It is easy to sound fired up in an internet forum rather than during polite conversation arounda water cooler.

Honestly, I'm not offended by goody bags. Please, there are much bigger issues to get fired up about. What I find distasteful is the ubiquitous concept of compulsory gift giving. I gladly adhere to social norms like bringing a bottle of Belgian Framboise when invited somewhere. I also will spend extravagantly to travel to two separate locations to spend time with cherished friends as they celebrate their fortieth birthday. I am not opposed to cheerful, well thought out gift giving. In other words, I trying to make myself appear less stingy , but hell, maybe I am.

Anyway, I just dislike anything excessive: gilded weddings, goodybags, extravagant Christmases. These seemingly trivial cultural traditions have evolved I feel that they take away from the focus of the underlying event. I don't advocate that we return to gifting like Laura experienced at Christmas in Big House on the Woods (a pair of red knit mittens and a peppermint chew, for any fellow trivia nerds out there ). I just adamently believe we should try to live a bit more authentically, live within our means, live sustainably. These are MY issues. I do understand that some people express their love and friendship through gifting. It is cruel for me to not honor them by cheerfully receiving their gift and gifting in kind. I also understand that everyone prioritizes different and that is cool too.

I just think that the children's party goody bag is overdone.

There, now that is entirely too much thought given to an incredibly trivial issue. Must. get.off. computer.

[Ladybug]

LOL

Me too. I'm banning myself from imsn until this house is done.

[MrsK]

Lest I sound like a complete nutjob over a box of crackerjacks and a bouncy ball, I should explain. It is easy to sound fired up in an internet forum rather than during polite conversation arounda water cooler.

Honestly, I'm not offended by goody bags. Please, there are much bigger issues to get fired up about. What I find distasteful is the ubiquitous concept of compulsory gift giving. I gladly adhere to social norms like bringing a bottle of Belgian Framboise when invited somewhere. I also will spend extravagantly to travel to two separate locations to spend time with cherished friends as they celebrate their fortieth birthday. I am not opposed to cheerful, well thought out gift giving. In other words, I trying to make myself appear less stingy , but hell, maybe I am.

Anyway, I just dislike anything excessive: gilded weddings, goodybags, extravagant Christmases. These seemingly trivial cultural traditions have evolved I feel that they take away from the focus of the underlying event. I don't advocate that we return to gifting like Laura experienced at Christmas in Big House on the Woods (a pair of red knit mittens and a peppermint chew, for any fellow trivia nerds out there ). I just adamently believe we should try to live a bit more authentically, live within our means, live sustainably. These are MY issues. I do understand that some people express their love and friendship through gifting. It is cruel for me to not honor them by cheerfully receiving their gift and gifting in kind. I also understand that everyone prioritizes different and that is cool too.

I just think that the children's party goody bag is overdone.

There, now that is entirely too much thought given to an incredibly trivial issue. Must. get.off. computer.

I can totally get behind this. My issues are not with the goody bags themselves -- there are a lot of useless unappealing things kids love and adults don't understand, blue food comes to mind -- but I have a real problem with bratty children and bratty adults who feel entitled and don't have the foggiest concept of reciprocation or social graces.

[BonBon]

Erg...I didn't mean to post a debate worthy thread. I hope I don't come off as preachy or holier-than-thou, because I don't feel that way. It's just that I've been trying to change the way we live for a while now, both with our eating and with material things. I make a serious effort to minimize the amount of trash our family produces, and I recycle and compost every thing I possibly can. Like houseelf said, we are striving to live more authentically and sustainably. For me, that means that while dollar store sunglasses are a cute party favor, the reality is they are broken about two hours after we get home and I have to throw them away. And that feels wrong to me.

I guess part of it too is that I have four kids in the same age range - they were all born in a period of less than three years. This is bringing a LOT of stuff into my house. Lest I sound like too much of a hag, I AM making small party favors. Being the chocolatier that I am , I am making chocolate bulldozer pops and chocolate turtles.

[migirl]

Oooh, I wanna come to G's party now. Yum!