Homework!

[PrincessFiona]

Here's the rub. We can be pressured as parents to believe znyghing and everything is essential. This is how we end up overscheduled and overwhelmed. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

I also think a double standard exists in education. My oldest son did the Stanford math program for 2 years because the schools couldn't keep up with him. I was "pushing my child" as a bad academic stage mom and this was frowned upon. It is 200% acceptable to place your elementary aged child in competitive gymnastics and hockey.

Freaky irony alert. I homeschool my children in German. They read every night. Period. I do not, however sign daily reading minutes nor do I sign Friday folders.

I do flashcards in math, play math games and talk to them about school. We do not do homework for 1st grade over any vacation. No. I'm not a child and I don't need to be monitored.

My children are very successfully academically with the exception of Amanda. My 4 year old just finished her first group, Fat Cat and the whole family is thrilled.

Amanda? That was a different story. We worked with her nightly, hired tutors etc. She has true learning issues and we did what we felt we had to as parents and pulled her out to homeschool her and give her 1 on 1 attention.

We are parents and are responsible.

Still, homework is inapproperate for the early years.
Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it is best for children. Just because a 7 year old is capable of learning a certain amount doesn't mean they shouldn't get to still enjoy being little.

5 minutes of homework might as well be zn hour by the time you get a first grader to organize it, pull it out and finish it with your help.

Kris

[Ladybug]

I think these are all valid issues and something that we've consider when keeping are children in an expensive private school. The homework is appropriate and the school is geared towards working above the curve. Kids are challenged according to their levels. I still think homeschooling is an absolutely wonderful fit for some children and family. A public school system crushes or hinders them.

As parents we work hard to take all these things into consideration and accommodate our children as much as humanely possible. My point is that if your unhappy teach your children a positive, mature way to handle that. Have a meeting...with the teacher,with other like-minded parents and administrators. Write the paper. Role model affecting change or handling disagreement with "authority". If all those things don't work then it might be time to reconsider your school choices and discuss these in an age-appropriate way. But just blowing off assignments, calling homework stupid, too easy or inconvenient and then sending them to school unprepared to be embarrassed or kept in for recess might be the easiest short term solution, but it's prop baby going to have negative long term consequences.

I do think homework can be family time too. I don't mean it's always easy and they don't throw tantrums, but I'm firm about work. If I think it's too easy ( Lucy is doing second and third grade math) I build on the easy problem. We have a white board in the kitchen so I can cook while talking to her and it becomes a game changing the problem to make it "trickier". Yes, I have to get very creative to make it interesting, but I'm fully invested in the lesson that work is important and a responsibility and homework is fun. At first Lucy came home saying "homework is stupid" and I was asking here where she heard that and why she thought that. She was repeating friends who were repeating parents. I told her I disagreed. It's exercising your brain, like running and doing gymnastics, and it's growing your imagination. We come up with super silly sentences,songs and poems for the spelling words when she's dragging or losing interest. Isabel loves to join in on that and keeps asking for "homework.". Your kids will ultimately pick up your attitude.

If yur child has learning disabilities or focus problems then get the diagnosis and 504 accommodation plan. They should have an appropriate amount of homework to support their individual learning. But they can't work with you until you get the testing done. Talk to your learning specialist if your child is struggling with their homework and attention after school.

[SuzySunshine]

Heidi, I think you should brag and I think you bring up a lot of good points. As a mom without school age kids yet I find all of this very interesting...

[Sheherezade]

I agree with Ladybug. I'm not always thrilled with the homework that my kids are given. Still, when I'm not and it goes on for some time, I email the teacher or make an appointment with the principal. Luckily, our teachers seem to be very reasonable people. I've never gotten in to a battle with them. Also, we don't have a lot of "stupid" homework. Maybe if I did, I'd be driven to my wit's end about it.

Recently, my son told me that he had a friend that lost 10 points on an algebra 2 test because his mother didn't sign his "corrections" to the test. The kid had gotten 105% on the test and had no corrections - so he had to turn in the test with nothing changed. He had forgotten to get his mother to sign the "corrections" (there were none because nothing was wrong)and the test grade went down to 95. I explained to my son that if that happened to him, I'd be in the teacher's office the next day - and the principal's office after that. Believe me, that would change. I do understand that there is stupidity out there - but I think you need to work within the system to change it. Also, I think our kids need to realize that sometimes rules are stupid and we don't agree with them - but we don't just ignore them. You need to understand that there will be consequences for that, that the rule was made for SOME reason at some point and that change is possible and can benefit more than just you if you work towards it.

[PrincessFiona]

Can homework time be family time? Yes. Of course. At the same time, homework for elementary aged children is sometimes just too much. Much of it is also busy work. Our family time is limited, and how we spend that time is up to us as a family. I would rather play a game, watch Ice Road Truckers with them while we cuddle up by the fireplace or go to Space Aliens for a birthday meal than work on the diorama for a first grader that I have to do most of the actual work on. The kids need to be in bed by 8 or 8:30 to make it to school the next day. Back up a little for baths, and dinner and there is a small window. I also do not fill this window with activities for the little ones. Aidan is not involved in any after school sports or programs. I'm also not going to take up that time with the littlest ones by doing homework. I'm pretty kind but honest about that with the teachers. I'm also very upfront with the upper grade teachers. I told Alex's 6th grade teacher that I appreciate her approach and I completely support his homework. We have homework time immediately following dinner. My children don't get home from school until 4pm and after a long day at school, I don't force them to sit down and work right away. I clear the table, provide help and support and insist that they are all doing something. That being said, I don't sign Friday folders. I am not responsible for my child not being successful one week on his vocab. He's freakin' 12 years old. His teacher and I had a great conversation about it where I said that I feel that there is an age where children have to become responsible for themselves.

There is a trend to have parents overly involved in every aspect of a child's education. This even extends to college now, where parents call and complain to professors about grades and requirements....in a way, I think parents have become trained to have an over-involvement and can't let go.

I think homework after about grade 3 or 4 is appropriate....starting slowly and then building in the grades. I have no problem with my middle school and high schoolers having homework and I support it 100%. That being said, I think it is overkill in the lower grades and it is counterproductive. In many instances, it also creates an adversarial relationship between schools and parents (as evidenced here). I have friends who are teachers who just can't understand why parents are so opposed. I think some of them have forgotten what it is like to have little ones and to work or support a busy spouse and run a household, etc. Their students don't do better today than we did many years ago, but it does create a lot more stress and hard feelings.

Kris

[DCJenn]

Of course, the fact that we're talking about vastly different school systems in different parts of the country is also coloring this discussion. Our elementary school is still catching up from being a academically unacceptable school. The paranoia runs deep. The entire school district is suffering the growing pains of losing population in certain neighborhoods and regaining population in others. Some schools are being closed- meanwhile, our school is supposed to be an in-district charter school and so many families with kids have moved in that there are fewer and fewer slots for out of district kids. It's great for us but at some point they need to decide if it's really a 'charter' school if all of the kids are neighborhood kids. The principal was brought in as a transition from the principal that was there when it was recreated as the charter. She's tasked with taking it to the next level. We shall see. We have some Teach for America teachers who have brought a level of excitement and commitment to the school that was most definitely lacking. Some of the teachers who have been at the school for years have decided to retire and I think it's an interesting time.

The pressure to pass the TAKS test (the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) is paralyzing. Your kid can't even stay home sick during the TAKS test.

Homework is but a symptom of the bizarre way that the educational system in this country is evolving. and now, our fabulous governor is proposing gutting the public school system since we're facing a 27 billion dollar shortfall thanks to some budget finagling that he insisted upon in 2006.

Jenn