Bullying

[SuzySunshine]

You've got a special little girl there Deb but I'm sure you already knew that! Great job, mom!

[v-girl]

You've got a special little girl there Deb but I'm sure you already knew that! Great job, mom!

This.

[ladymoreta]

Great job, all of you! I'm so glad she has such a good teacher!

[peggyfromwastate]

Yay all around!!!

Yay mom, yay awesome kiddo, and yay teacher!!!

Super great. Love this- and I'm do glad that your dd seems willing to embrace the idea of Stay Away From Bullies vs the all to common Try To Fit In And Appease The Bully At All Costs.

Bravo.

I also agree with your dhs response though.

[ides]

Great job, all of you! I'm so glad she has such a good teacher!

This! Seems like you have a good school there.

[ms.conception]

it started for us in Kindergarden too. The bizarre hyper-competitveness and cliqueness. It wasn't special to the girls either. My son who is far from being an Alpha male, was subject to these sort of things. One day they'd like each other then the next they'd shun him for what was in his lunch, or his shirt or for his shoes etc.. and then my son started doing it. It was pervasive and as though it was an acceptable form of bullying throughout the education system. It really, really bothered me.
I spoke with the teacher and principal and asked that they teach the kids the words to first acknowledge their feelings (jealousy, anger, frustration, sadness etc...) because my son had never experienced much jealousy, but when he met kids he really liked, but felt as though he was having to compete for friendships, he'd become jealous at the personality traits of the other children, if this makes sense. He couldn't identify that emotion and needed help. I also asked them to supervise the kids better. I hated that my son was coming home and that his self esteem was being affected. We did things like put him in gymnastics and soccer to try to boost his own self confidence, but being the only child at home (his other brother doesn't live at home), he had a lot to adjust to. The other kids had siblings, were used to being teased etc.. my son def. needed to learn to develop a thicker skin, and the other kids needed to learn to be kinder and less... vicious. We also stopped playing into the victim stuff. He used to say "Jacob was mean to me and told me I had ugly shoes" and I'd respond "Well that wasn't very nice of Jacob (validating his feeling that Jacob as the bad guy), you need to tell Jacob..." which would then "Solve it" for him. Instead we now say "Wow, that must've stung" or "That's unfortunate, what did you do?" and ask him how he plans on sorting it out, trying to teach him the necessary emotional skills to cope with this stuff, because it doesn't come naturally.

He's 9 now and it still goes on. There is SO much drama between the kids day in and day out. I've made friends with many of the parents. We talk to our kids. We also switched our son to a different school within our community (before he was being bussed). being friends and present in our community and school really opened our eyes to the kids, their personalities and quirks. My sons current best friend is a kid that I probably would have disliked strongly if I didn't know his family, and his position in his family (he's the youngest, with two older sisters who tease him mercilessly). He's a tough kid, and can definitely dish it out AND take it. Unfortunately my son dishes it out, but can't take it and will burst into tears the second he feels wronged. We still love having W over, and still encourage them to play and hope that some of W's reserve wears off on our son. He comes from a nice family. He's funny and polite and is a good friend all in all. But had I just met him on the playground, I'd probably wanted to boot him across it.

Hang in. It only gets worse lol

[BonBon]

That was handled beautifully by all parties!! I love that your daughter wanted to handle it herself; she is really impressive! We're always going over different ways to handle these type of situations with the kids, and our school is really proactive about it too. (thank goodness)