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Changing Schools

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  • Originally posted by diggitydot View Post
    I wouldn't jump to the "we made a mistake" conclusion just yet, either. Nothing you've described seems terribly far off from normal.
    Yes, THIS. Kindergarten is a HUGE transition for most kids and parents. There are bumps for everyone. Bumps in the beginning are extra hard IMO because there is no level of trust between the kids, teachers, and parents involved yet. I would see it as a good sign that the teacher called you.
    Flynn

    Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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    • I'm just going to throw this out there. If you think you've made the wrong choice, if you feel that way more and more....pursue a change. Life is too short. She's only in kindergarten. If you want to move her to the other school, start looking in to is and make it happen.

      I am always one to "give it time" but I've learned through the years that sometimes your intuition is RIGHT and you need to trust yourself. Don't torture yourself if you think moving her to the other school would be best. Chalk it up to a learning experience and make it happen.
      Angie
      Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
      Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

      "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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      • Originally posted by SuzySunshine View Post
        I don't know, I just feel like 2 of the 3 K teachers and the principal aren't very friendly to the kids and really spoil the whole love of learning experience.
        This is the exact reason why I took DD out of private school after 1st grade. She has flourished in public school and I shudder to think what would have happened if we had kept her in private school. She too, is a chatty kid, and she would come home every day from private school because she had been in trouble for hugging someone who "needed a hug", helping a friend to the bathroom, being "too excited" in music class and started signing a note before her peers, etc etc etc. Her private school did not support individual personalities and instead wanted the kids to be like robots. It scared the crap out of me and I couldn't pull her out of there fast enough.
        Married to a peds surgeon attending

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        • Changing Schools

          Today's yellow is for "running in the hall and not following directions" She is in tears.
          Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by SuzySunshine View Post
            Today's yellow is for "running in the hall and not following directions" She is in tears.
            Veronica
            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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            • Oh and I had sent a snack size KitKat in her lunch - when she came home it was still in her box. "no candy allowed at school was her response?" WTF !?!?! Where is that written?? GRR!!

              But she had a playdate this afternoon with a girl she really likes and when talking to her mom after she says her son's teacher (1st grade) is all about "building people up, etc." Maybe the 1st and K teachers should trade places! UGH!
              Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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              • Originally posted by SuzySunshine View Post
                But she had a playdate this afternoon with a girl she really likes and when talking to her mom after she says her son's teacher (1st grade) is all about "building people up, etc." Maybe the 1st and K teachers should trade places! UGH!
                Sheesh. When I was in law school, they used to talk about tearing us down so they could build us up, reorganize the way we thought. Someone was reduced to tears every day of the first semester and there were no kudos forthcoming until second year. But that was effing LAW SCHOOL for goodness sake.
                Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                • That is what I told the mom, "I hope she's not to far crushed by then."
                  Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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                  • She won't be. Kids are resilient. She just needs help navigating this. Sounds like she really took your chat to heart and was trying hard to earn her reward. I think Tara's suggestion of giving her a little something -- even just a sticker -- if she has a single green day with a special reward if she has three in a week would be good for now. K1 would have been devastated if he missed out on a reward too.
                    Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                    • Cheri,

                      I have a couple of thoughts. I personally understand that the teachers need to establish the rules from the beginning and that it helps to sort of ... lay down the law. I am not a fan of the color system. What your daughter is experiencing is unfortunately par for the course when it comes to starting school. At the same time, my guess is that she is struggling with her own anxieties and impulse control. This is age appropriate, but is terrible to experience. You know the best of her and want the teacher to see that too. So does A, and I'm sure she doesn't know how she can correct the behaviors. It will be a learning process for her. This may or may not have happened at the other school depending on her teacher and their own system of discipline and rules.

                      You sound to me like you are really doubting your choice to send her to the school and that this doubt is adding to your own burden. I'm with Angie here. I am not a 'stick out the misery and grow character' kind of gal anymore. If you are unhappy, you think this is a bad fit for your family and for A, and you still have the other school as an option, I'd go there and visit it and talk with principal there to find out more about their kindergarten classrooms. Maybe you can even visit one now that school is in session. I wouldn't hesitate to switch schools if that is what is on your mind (in a very non-dramatic fashion).

                      I will say that my children's 1st grade teacher has been a part of our family for 11 years. She is one tough cookie and isn't a Mary Poppins type. Once the kids adjusted to the first 2 weeks of class though, they loved her and aimed to please her. She had a lot of rules that she was firm about enforcing, but it did work for them. We had tears early on too.

                      Lay the issue with the other school to rest in your mind once and for all. If it is definitely not an option, then you can move on ... otherwise, this will torment you whenever things go wrong.

                      It is not too early to go to the teacher and have a heart-to-heart chat with her either. Forget what people say about not being off-putting or making it worse for A. It's not true. As long as you approach the teacher and talk calmly about what you know about your daughter, how heartbroken she is and share your concerns, the teacher will more than likely be on your 'side'. If she isn't ... then that's another issue altogether. Don't feel like you need to suffer on your own with this. A's teacher is your partner.

                      I'm so sorry you're having a rough start to the school year.

                      Kris
                      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                      • Well, I would ask the teacher what she's doing to curb the disruptive behaviors. The onus isn't just on the kids to be quiet robots, if this is what the teacher prefers. It's kindergarten and where are they supposed to be talkative and outgoing and testing boundaries if not there?
                        married to an anesthesia attending

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                        • I was thinking about you this morning. How is this going?

                          Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4
                          Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                          • She didn't have school today - teacher inservice (really?? they just started!) Anyway, she ended last week well. Monday/Tuesday she got the excessive talking and I got the call from the teacher. Wednesday she got in the car in tears because while she thought she had finally figured out the talking she still got a yellow for running in the hall and not following directions. Thursday & Friday were green with a note from Mrs T that said "great days!" so I hope she has it figured out and I hope this 4 day weekend didn't set her back to square one, we'll see...
                            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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                            • That's great news! She will get the hang of it
                              Tara
                              Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                              • But tonight at dinner I asked her if she was excited to go back to school tomorrow and she said no. Sigh! We'll see - I don't think a 4 day weekend was a great idea a week into school. She's going to have the rest of this week, a full week and then a half week before getting a week off for the family wedding so we'll see...
                                Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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