Changing Schools

[samssugarmomma]

I agree with taking the complainers with a grain of salt for now. Listen, but get involved with the PTA ( ours is called Home and School Association), volunteer in the classroom- and make your own opinion.

Have you signed up to take the training class so you can volunteer in the school? Ours is called "Virtus" I think.

And honestly, there may be things that you don't like. We are sticking with our parish school this year (and the ridiculous 5k tuition for each kid) even though we see tons of room for improvement at the school and we have a list of gripes. I think the principal is lazy and reactionary rather than proactive. And there is some nepotism going on in her hiring practices. But there are also a lot of things that I love that the public school here doesn't offer. I love the uniforms, how each student carries them self, how respectful they are to everyone, that they get to learn about their faith all day long and that it isnt just another subject - it is brought into every aspect of their eduction. But there is A TON of room for change, so this year we are getting involved to try to make those changes. DH got himself on to the school board. And I'm going to et involved with our parent association.


Try to take a breath! It's hard to let go when we are used to making every decision that affects them. Giving up control isn't easy! Make peace with your decision so that you can enjoy the year.

[DCJenn]

Yes to all of the above. Every teacher that I know basically says, "look, you and your husband are very well-educated. Your kid will be fine no matter where he goes." It's a sad statement on education but it's also 100% true.

J.

[SuzySunshine]

Feel free to ignore me and tell me I'm the crazy new Kindergartener mom - I've been told by more then one person that the 2 full day teachers are not that nurturing, very structured, etc. (again - after we made our choice). Today was A's first full day, she's had two short days. She was SO excited this morning, she couldn't wait to go "all day/every day!" I picked her up this afternoon and she seemed very excited to see us - then I started asking questions. Did you have gym today, what did you do? I cried because they were playing a game that I thought sounded scary. Sounds like it was a version of red rover. Okay...What else did you do today? We had music, she sang some songs, sounded like she enjoyed it. What did you do in your classroom? Mrs T broke my yellow crayon. Okay...Then we got home and went through her folder, they have a page in their folder that looks like a calendar and each day they come home its green, yellow or red - she said at parents night red was really rare. A came home with green last Friday but yellow today and it says "talking and not following directions" - but that is also how she broke A's crayon, she was coloring so hard (fast?) that it broke. And the square is also partially green so I don't know if A started to color it green and then got in trouble or maybe she was told to color it yellow and didn't so that is why Mrs T took over - UGH! Then I asked her about lunch, she has the option of taking her lunch or eating there - this morning she took her own lunch as I was asking did you eat x, y, z she said - I didn't finish my fruit, they didn't give me much time - I only sent her with a sandwich, a yogurt tube and a cut up pear... We had talked about this summer how she was going to have to talk less and eat more because she would have a set time. Tomorrow she wants to eat hot lunch but I'm afraid by the time she got through the line she wouldn't have time to eat it...

She has now said she doesn't want to go back, she wants to go to Pre-K - not sure where that came from though the boy that she was in "love" with last year is in pre-K.

[diggitydot]

She's entirely fine and it's normal K adjustments. She'll figure out to not dawdle and eat more quickly.

[Sheherezade]

Sounds pretty normal to me as well - but sad for mom none the less. My daughter NEVER figured out lunch. It was always stressful for her. In 6th grade, she just started eating a snack at lunch instead of a real lunch. I'd feed her when she got home. The lunch room was chaos for her.

I hated K-3. My kids were born old. LOL

[Deebs]

I think her day sounds normal, her reaction sounds normal, and your reaction sounds normal. We had a really great Kindergarten year, but bad first grade year. DD started saying she wanted to move back to...anywhere (including Minnesota, where we hadn't lived since before she turned two). In hindsight, there is a part of me that wishes I would have pulled her out of school in March, BUT, she is eager to go back to school. Does the teacher do a weekly email home? I find that my kids rarely share what goes on at school (and most likely never accurately), but they will engage when I have prompts of what they did. We also do best part of the day/worst part of the day, and it really reminds me that what they think is important is different than what we think is important.

[Flynn]

Kindergarten is Darwinism times 3. It's a huge adjustment for any kid. Give positive feedback and try and understand what comes home so you can help A get why things happen they way they do at school.

Hang in there. I think it takes at least a month for any new kindergartener to feel like they have things cold.

[Sheherezade]

Deebs - great point about communication. We used to play "three stories" at dinner. Two had to be true and one was pretend. Everyone would try to guess what was made up. Dad of course made up the most ridiculous pretend stories. It was a fun way to get them to share tidbits.

[Ladybug]

The colored communication is crazy IMO. I can't believe they "rate" each day and send it to the parents (where students can see it) and call it communication. Hello?! If there is a **pattern** of behavior to be addressed then it's time to have a private parent email/meeting about how to best support the students needs at this time. It's a terrible way to communicate with parents, and it leaves people interpretting with no opportunity for dialogue. Holy Moly! I can't imagine the number of emails our teachers would field each day from parents with questions about their colored boxes. Like you've said, you signed up for this and can't demand differently, but I wouldn't hyperfocus on the daily notes/messages. I think it's stressful, and I wouldn't want my kid to think each day is "graded" and reported. Can you imagine if your boss colored each of your workdays by colors?

To be fair, our first grade teacher does use a color warning system where the students flip a card (yellow-warning, red-consequences) but there is not a daily relay to parents, only continued, disruptive patterns are communicated appropriately.

The lunch thing is unsolvable. Kids scarf down their food and their hurried eating patterns continue at home. DH and I spend so much time saying, "Slow down, don't rush, enjoy your food, etc." It doesn't help that the kids eat earlier, seperately than we do do so they don't benefit from adults at the table. They have an early lunch and are hungry waaaaay before we are, plus dinner is the only time that we talk without the kids around. I think hurried eating patterns are also a contributor to obesity since it takes 20 minutes for your brain to register that it's full and lunch is way over by then. There is a "hurray, eat more, survive, eat more!" mentally at our nutritious, but still wide-open buffet line. Taco day is insanity. Yet I wouldn't want the school day longer over the lunch issue either... Some kids are more affected by it than others and I see that just within the variations of my own kids eating needs, metabolism, habits, etc.

[scrub-jay]

The lunch thing is unsolvable. Kids scarf down their food and their hurried eating patterns continue at home. DH and I spend so much time saying, "Slow down, don't rush, enjoy your food, etc." It doesn't help that the kids eat earlier, seperately than we do do so they don't benefit from adults at the table. They have an early lunch and are hungry waaaaay before we are, plus dinner is the only time that we talk without the kids around. I think hurried eating patterns are also a contributor to obesity since it takes 20 minutes for your brain to register that it's full and lunch is way over by then. There is a "hurray, eat more, survive, eat more!" mentally at our nutritious, but still wide-open buffet line.

Yes! Yes! My dd is a seriously slow eater, but she really enjoys and tastes her food. Food awareness in the moment is one of the tools that is used in combating obesity, so someone who eats slow often eats less and is less likely to be obese. I'm not sure how to work this into the school environment either.

[Pollyanna]

You are not the crazy kindergarten mom. It's scary when your first kid goes to school and they come home with a full lunch box and stories that worry you. First on the lunch. She won't starve, totally normal to be preoccupied with the sights and sounds of the lunch room. Like Angie said, send a small snack sized lunch. Even then she may not eat much at first. Dd4 only ate about 6 Cheetos out of her lunch today. Let her buy lunch, better to do it now when she'll get more help with the process.

I find no nonsense kinder teachers to be more effective than the cuddlers. To the parents they seem cold but typically the kids love them. The teachers know that soooo much is expected of these kiddos when they hit first grade so they are trying to get them ready. It's not what kinder used to be unfortunately.

It's hard when they don't want to go. Dd4 struggled last week too (never been in school and now in a full day preK program 5 days per week). The Kissing Hand book is a huge help for our kiddos and then just keep doing what you're doing. Lots of love an encouragement and some tissues for mom. All normal stuff. Hang in there

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks for all of the reassurance gang. DH made it home for dinner so without telling him anything I told him to ask her about her day - he got a lot of the same information I did but not as much of the "sad" stuff - though she still did bring up the broken yellow crayon which I thought was kind of funny. At bed time she told me she likes Mrs. T so I guess that is good. The other thing I don't get is they sit at small tables, I think there are 4-6 at each table and I've now asked her everyday about the kids she sits with, she doesn't know their names - not a single one.

She's going to buy her lunch tomorrow, we'll see how it goes...

The teacher does post the week's plans on her school website. The handbook says "teachers and staff are not able to communicate about your child's progress or discuss academic or personal issues via email. Please call your child's teacher or make an appointment for information regarding these topics." So I don't know what our primary source of communication is from her. The school sends out a weekly newsletter but I don't know about the teacher.

Tomorrow is an all school mass, I'm debating taking R and spying on her.

[poky]

Can you imagine if your boss colored each of your workdays by colors?

There are days I'd be well into BLACK territory.

[Sheherezade]

I'm glad it sounded better later! And yes, the color coded day thing would be insane for adults!! Snarky me might ask my kid if Mrs T had a green, yellow or red day today. LOL

[Deebs]

I clearly remember DD's kindergarten teacher playing name games with them for at least three MONTHS! I thought it was silly, but then thought of how genius that would be in adult settings. I've become terrible with names. I'm still shocked at the kids DD just can't remember.