Pulling kids out of school

[HouseofWool]

It all sucks. When DS missed a week of Kindergarten because he was hospitalized and in the ICU, we got a nasty-gram for truancy. Because he was so able to function after what was essentially a stroke. (My apologies to the Major.)

[spotty_dog]

I just hate that there even IS a policy because I'm a total rule follower. When my kids miss, other than for illness, I'm crazy about them learning, to the extent that they are probably learning WAY more than they would have at school.

Yes on being a rule follower! The form I have to turn in requires that I sign off that I am aware that some missed work can't be made up and could impact his grade. I cringe even though what we do when he's off school (even if he's sick, as long as he's not feeling terrible) is at least 10x what they do in school. I'm actually making up lesson plans for this trip we're taking, irrespective of what the teacher asks me to make up, because we both have so much fun working on interesting and challenging stuff if he's not exhausted from behaving all day at school.

[Phoebe]

Chastising your child for missing school? Inappropriate! We have international students here who leave for a month at a time to go back to their parent's home country. I am not sure if they get flack for it. We pulled our kids out last year for 4 days. The teachers told us to have a good time and were jealous. However, we got a threatening letter from the school when all DD3s absences added up to 10. She was in kindergarten for god's sake. Call CPS on me. Our school district also calls the police if they can't find your child at school and you haven't phoned in to say they won't be there. Friend's of ours our a physician family and they homeschooled for a couple years because the dad could never get school vacation times off. It worked for them.

[mommax3]

Deebs nailed it...it's all about funding, and (at least here) also a school's "grade" or ranking, which is in large part determined by its attendance rate as well. There are the *major* standardized tests, and then there is the testing we do to get ready for the major standardized tests....it honestly is a huge pain in the ass to get all the stuff made up even when the kid is smart and conscientious, and when they aren't (which is more often the case) it's a nightmare. Throw in the possibility that your kid's teacher is being evaluated based on your child's (as well as every other child that they teach) performance on these tests and you can see why it is a little crazy-making. I'm not saying it's okay, but I am saying that there is another side to it. When I am helping a good kid get caught up on what they missed, I am using time that could have been spent helping a child that is really struggling or teaching the whole class. Obviously the stakes are higher the older the kids get (and I teach middle school) but all teachers are being asked to cram more into their day (especially on the days preceding the testing window, which is why all the movies get shown at the end of the year) and it is really hard to get it all done. Honestly, if you anticipate that it will continue to work best for your family to pull the kids at various times outside of scheduled breaks, homeschooling or private schools may be better options. Schools that serve the general population (and larger numbers of students) are increasingly bound by regulations and requirements that don't allow them to be responsive to individual families' needs. It's a shame, but it's where we are as a society.

[peggyfromwastate]

Deebs nailed it...it's all about funding, and (at least here) also a school's "grade" or ranking, which is in large part determined by its attendance rate as well. There are the *major* standardized tests, and then there is the testing we do to get ready for the major standardized tests....it honestly is a huge pain in the ass to get all the stuff made up even when the kid is smart and conscientious, and when they aren't (which is more often the case) it's a nightmare. Throw in the possibility that your kid's teacher is being evaluated based on your child's (as well as every other child that they teach) performance on these tests and you can see why it is a little crazy-making. I'm not saying it's okay, but I am saying that there is another side to it. When I am helping a good kid get caught up on what they missed, I am using time that could have been spent helping a child that is really struggling or teaching the whole class. Obviously the stakes are higher the older the kids get (and I teach middle school) but all teachers are being asked to cram more into their day (especially on the days preceding the testing window, which is why all the movies get shown at the end of the year) and it is really hard to get it all done. Honestly, if you anticipate that it will continue to work best for your family to pull the kids at various times outside of scheduled breaks, homeschooling or private schools may be better options. Schools that serve the general population (and larger numbers of students) are increasingly bound by regulations and requirements that don't allow them to be responsive to individual families' needs. It's a shame, but it's where we are as a society.

This is so true.

I pulled dd1 for a week for a funeral out of state when she was in middle school. That was the last time I'll ever do that for an older kid unless i really can not help it. Our visit for the funeral went over Thanksgiving, so we tacked on a few days. It was a ton of work for her to make up, and the teachers, while understanding, did have a tough time catching her back up and scheduling time for her to take missed exams. Most of them didn't have lessons planned that far in advance, so there wasn't a lot she could do to make up the work ahead of time. Her grades did temporarily suffer for it. She was in a magnet middle school, and did have a lot of homework. Given that experience, I'm gun shy to pull a middle or high schooler. I wouldn't dream of pulling my dd17. She is taking three AP classes and she will go to school sick just to avoid falling behind. Those classes move quickly and there isn't a margin for missing class. My twins would struggle in middle school, but not as much. Mostly it would cause them undue stress to try to make up work and eat points that they would lose due to missing pop quizzes and other things that you can't make up.

Elementary school is much easier. I pulled them for Disney, and for family trips, and they missed a lot of school due to illnesses. My son missed around 20 days the year he was diagnosed with diabetes and had bad allergy flare ups. All his absences were excused, in that case, though.

I really do sympathize a lot with teachers on this---- it's very tough to be asked to create extra lesson plans or lesson packets for kids who miss school. Or even extra assignments to make up for in class work. Teachers don't have enough time as is for lesson plans

For me, flexibility for scheduling and flexibility to actually teach science and history to my elem aged kids are two main factors pushing me to homeschool.

As to the OP---- for elem school--- go for it. No reason to not miss school at this age. There will be no long term trouble, and likely the teachers will understand although the district might send a letter. I got a letter the year my elem school students missed 15 days each--- 5 for Disney, 10 for the funeral and other family obligations. The district threatened to charge me $50 per day per kid for every unexcused absence past 10. The school secretaries told me not to worry--- they were automated letters and they understood the obligations we had and the inflexibility of my dhs schedule due to military and med school obligations which have him not even a long weekend off during the entire summer.

[spotty_dog]

I really do sympathize a lot with teachers on this---- it's very tough to be asked to create extra lesson plans or lesson packets for kids who miss school. Or even extra assignments to make up for in class work. Teachers don't have enough time as is for lesson plans

This is my concern. I don't want to be a burden, 24 kids in a mixed-ability classroom (from special needs to possibly gifted) is enough to put on anyone's shoulders without asking her to plan an extra week ahead and have all those materials ready in advance.

I got a letter the year my elem school students missed 15 days each--- 5 for Disney, 10 for the funeral and other family obligations.

We'll end up with 6 days pre-planned and 2 so far unplanned this semester; another 5 or 6 days pre-planned when we go to Hawaii in Feb. :\ My parents always pulled me without hesitation to go to Hawaii in the winter when we lived in Alaska. I still remember some of the projects I did in lieu of school. But that was a one-off each year, it's the repeat offense that I worry is going to upset the teacher (not worried particularly about the school or district).

Oh well, I don't know why I'm even fretting. I'm not going to NOT pull him. We'll just deal with any fallout as it comes.

[alison]

It looks like you've made a decision. . I'm generally a wimp when it comes to this kind of stuff. I know where dd's school stands on missing school for trips (unless they're family emergencies), so we won't pull dd from school. Even pre-k!

Dh gets 10 weeks of vacation off in a calendar year. 3 weeks in June, July, and August are distributed by lottery, and you can never get 3 or even 2 weeks in a row unless you trade weeks with other partners after the lottery. School breaks scattered among the rest of the year are also distributed among the partners, and you end up with one week when your kid is on vacation. The other 6 weeks have to be between September and June, and so dh pretty much only has vacation when dd is in school. He has plenty of vacation, yet we can't really use them for family trips longer than 7 days.

Keep us posted on what the teacher says!

[spotty_dog]

As a follow-up, I spoke to the teacher today. She didn't give me any guilt over it, in fact she said that as DS is the strongest reader in class and maybe the whole first grade (I think this is blatant flattery but I'll take it) she isn't worried about him keeping up, if I want I can do a trip journal while we're away, and she will give me a math worksheet to catch up after the trip. Phew! Sometimes I fret too much.

[Ladybug]

nice! i like her

[alison]

Yay! Sounds great to me. And way to go with the reading, E!!!