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Please ignore the rambling nature of this list. It was written at four separate times 
I agree that there are benefits to both preschool and kindergarten. BUT I don't think preschool is necessary in the least. I think the skills gained at preschool can be found through other avenues. Preschoolers don't need several hours away from mom and dad to learn how to separate, they can have a sitter, go to a dance class, play in the local YMCA child are area, etc. I'm not a big believer in academic preschools (actually I am vehemently against them) so I think folks that opt for that route are wasting their money (YMMV). Children do not need to be forced to sit at a table and complete worksheets to learn letters or math. They can learn those on a walk with mom on a car ride with dad. They are natural learners, I don't believe it needs to be forced. And I don't believe that teaches a child to be curious or to love learning. But those kids might be very well behaved at circle time when kinder starts. Kinder IS necessary simply because first grade would be rough without it. BUT I don't believe it needs to be in the traditional setting providing you are serious about making sure they are ready for first grade.
Our very best best preschool experience was our co-op in CA. If that was available to every child then I might say that preschool is necessary, lol. All the teachers LOVED their work, they exuded love and kindness and patience beyond belief. They acknowledged separation anxiety as real for both parent and child but would say at orientation that they believe a child does not have to cry and feel helpless when mom leaves. We will guide them through the transition. Most kids had no issues (I believe the loving environment had much to do with that) but for those that did they systematically worked to make the child comfortable, knowing when to push and knowing when to call mom. Dd20 had anxiety issues even then but the director helped her transition from being terrified to a leader in short order. She would tell me when to leave, how far I could go and would call when I needed to return. I would find her rocking dd and loving on her. Of course, if you're looking at preschool for a break a co-op is not that, lol and really doesn't work for working parents unless there is a nanny available. But everything was child centered. The goal was for each individual child to reach their potential, not some random goal set for the entire class.
The kindergarten shift began when dd12 started kinder. Before that our kiddos went 5 days per week for 2hrs and 50 minutes. Dd12 went for a full day. Our teachers pointed out that the full day does in NO WAY benefit the children academically (at that time) because it is the same curriculum as the half day they just add in lunch, more recess, circle time is a bit longer, they get quiet time and a 45 minute special vs 30 min. Dd12 full day experience highlighted the fact that for my kids they learned more with the half day at school and the half day with mom. I did less extra stuff with dd12 because there just was no time when she got home and to be honest she was too tired. I wasn't impressed. Fast forward to this year with dd5 starting kinder. We were so excited, 4 minute walk to the school, neighborhood friends, yay!!! Until I got there. I should note, some of this is the school and it's leadership, which will be different at all schools. Anyway, Parent night welcome, children are expressly not welcome. I've never been to a welcome where you don't see other children. Why are children not welcome I asked myself? Thankfully ds18 was home to babysit. Curriculum and schedule was presented. I sat there fully recognizing that this is a first grade curriculum on steroids. Two 15 minute breaks during a 7 hour day. Lots of seat time. No time for creative outlets or imaginary play. Gone are the colorful classrooms. Classrooms are a place for work and if that work is not completed in a timely fashion then you will lose you break (are you f-ing kidding me?). Don't forget they also have homework. There is a 10 minute snack but if you forget to pack one for your child they are SOL. No sharing allowed (I get that btw) and the teacher is not allowed to provide a snack either. Children are to learn independence and being hungry is a good way to do that (f-you lady). Note: I was very kind and did not point out the stupidity of all this. I was still hopeful because this was going to be an awesome set up for ME. By day three (which had only been half days) I realized that it may be a great set up for me, it sucked for my dd5. She sobbed on the morning of the third day but I got her to go. We could see the personality change over the weekend from happy and kind to sullen and cranky. While some of that is seen at the beginning of school from all our kiddos because they are tired, this was persistent and out of the ordinary. Monday I sent her for the full day, still hoping things would work out. She came home with sloppy work, more than she typically would display. She was worried about missing break because she was the last to sit on the rug so she just rushed through it. Lest you think this is just me, I hear these same issues from other kinder parents, I sat in dance yesterday while two moms talked about how hard the day was for their child and the older kids (those turning 7), the homework, how their girls are really to tired to be at dance. Heck the dance class is half full of crying children (and they are all kinders that have danced at this studio before. They are simply exhausted).
So what's the point? Why are we forcing this on our littles when science tells us this is too much and not age appropriate? Why are they taking standardized tests in kinder? Wth is that about? Public kinder in our district (considered one of the best in the state) is very very institutional. I'm not even sure the teachers have time to be loving and kind and patient because they are given soooo much that has to be done. My standard question is: are these kids going to be doing differential equations in high school and writing existential works of literature at 16? What are we accomplishing by this push?
I prefer to introduce school to our kiddos in small increments. 2 half days/week, 3 half days/week, and so on. I have found it to be very effective for my kiddos and our family. Interestingly, when dd12 was beginning kinder and the curriculum was changing, the first grade teachers at her school refused to use the new curriculum. They were all seasoned educators with specialties in reading education. They hid the old curriculum and quietly used it for two years until the district Gestapo found out and actually came into the classrooms and cleared out all the old books. The new curriculum sucked and left children struggling and placed more children in special reading services that ever before (which increased the aid from the state, if you're a conspiracy theorist, this is an interesting situation). When dd12 struggled one of the teachers gave me a copy of the old curriculum she had kept at her home. This change was NOT in the best interest of the children and the teachers were screaming it from the roof top but they had no power.
As I have watched the shift in education over the past 18 years the most I can say is that I'm not impressed. Having such a wide variety of ages in our family gives us a unique perspective. I'm still a believer in k-8 public school if what they are teaching benefits the student not just the state. We prefer a Catholic high school experience providing it stays true to the tenants of the Faith. Dd5 is homeschooling kinder and is so very happy. She will also do a half day Catholic Montessori program two days per week. It is calming, welcoming, and loving. We will take each year as it comes for her. She might go back to the neighborhood school for first grade or homeschool. I'm not making any decisions right now.
Dd12 asked to homeschool 7th and 8th grade. She feels behind in math and writing and wants a chance to catch up or get ahead because she is already looking forward to college and getting into Butler's dance company. So she sees she needs to improve her academics and continue to work hard in dance. Yes, it's a 12 year olds goal but it has created an internal motivation to learn that can't be beat. While she is loving school this year she is clear that she wants to go to the Catholic high school with her brother and only homeschool jr high.
So really I have set myself up with a fun but rough year. Toddler plus kinder plus 7th grader make for an interesting school day trying to meet everyone's needs in all areas but I feel blessed to have this choice as I am keenly aware it is not an option for everyone.
As an aside, Sesame Street came out just before my brother started kinder and my mom noted that all schools needed to change their curriculum because kids already knew so much coming into school. I know with the internet and other learning avenues children are learning as well. I'm not opposed to changing curriculum as the needs arise but I don't think this current direction is a good one. And while I'm not a fan of Common Core I don't place all the blame on its shoulders as these changes have been in the works for at least 7 years.
In conclusion, IMHO: preschool great but not necessary. Kindergarten necessary at some level. Not all schools are created equal, not all kids learn at the same speed or by the same method. Love of learning and confidence in one's abilities should be the goal.
I agree that there are benefits to both preschool and kindergarten. BUT I don't think preschool is necessary in the least. I think the skills gained at preschool can be found through other avenues. Preschoolers don't need several hours away from mom and dad to learn how to separate, they can have a sitter, go to a dance class, play in the local YMCA child are area, etc. I'm not a big believer in academic preschools (actually I am vehemently against them) so I think folks that opt for that route are wasting their money (YMMV). Children do not need to be forced to sit at a table and complete worksheets to learn letters or math. They can learn those on a walk with mom on a car ride with dad. They are natural learners, I don't believe it needs to be forced. And I don't believe that teaches a child to be curious or to love learning. But those kids might be very well behaved at circle time when kinder starts. Kinder IS necessary simply because first grade would be rough without it. BUT I don't believe it needs to be in the traditional setting providing you are serious about making sure they are ready for first grade.
Our very best best preschool experience was our co-op in CA. If that was available to every child then I might say that preschool is necessary, lol. All the teachers LOVED their work, they exuded love and kindness and patience beyond belief. They acknowledged separation anxiety as real for both parent and child but would say at orientation that they believe a child does not have to cry and feel helpless when mom leaves. We will guide them through the transition. Most kids had no issues (I believe the loving environment had much to do with that) but for those that did they systematically worked to make the child comfortable, knowing when to push and knowing when to call mom. Dd20 had anxiety issues even then but the director helped her transition from being terrified to a leader in short order. She would tell me when to leave, how far I could go and would call when I needed to return. I would find her rocking dd and loving on her. Of course, if you're looking at preschool for a break a co-op is not that, lol and really doesn't work for working parents unless there is a nanny available. But everything was child centered. The goal was for each individual child to reach their potential, not some random goal set for the entire class.
The kindergarten shift began when dd12 started kinder. Before that our kiddos went 5 days per week for 2hrs and 50 minutes. Dd12 went for a full day. Our teachers pointed out that the full day does in NO WAY benefit the children academically (at that time) because it is the same curriculum as the half day they just add in lunch, more recess, circle time is a bit longer, they get quiet time and a 45 minute special vs 30 min. Dd12 full day experience highlighted the fact that for my kids they learned more with the half day at school and the half day with mom. I did less extra stuff with dd12 because there just was no time when she got home and to be honest she was too tired. I wasn't impressed. Fast forward to this year with dd5 starting kinder. We were so excited, 4 minute walk to the school, neighborhood friends, yay!!! Until I got there. I should note, some of this is the school and it's leadership, which will be different at all schools. Anyway, Parent night welcome, children are expressly not welcome. I've never been to a welcome where you don't see other children. Why are children not welcome I asked myself? Thankfully ds18 was home to babysit. Curriculum and schedule was presented. I sat there fully recognizing that this is a first grade curriculum on steroids. Two 15 minute breaks during a 7 hour day. Lots of seat time. No time for creative outlets or imaginary play. Gone are the colorful classrooms. Classrooms are a place for work and if that work is not completed in a timely fashion then you will lose you break (are you f-ing kidding me?). Don't forget they also have homework. There is a 10 minute snack but if you forget to pack one for your child they are SOL. No sharing allowed (I get that btw) and the teacher is not allowed to provide a snack either. Children are to learn independence and being hungry is a good way to do that (f-you lady). Note: I was very kind and did not point out the stupidity of all this. I was still hopeful because this was going to be an awesome set up for ME. By day three (which had only been half days) I realized that it may be a great set up for me, it sucked for my dd5. She sobbed on the morning of the third day but I got her to go. We could see the personality change over the weekend from happy and kind to sullen and cranky. While some of that is seen at the beginning of school from all our kiddos because they are tired, this was persistent and out of the ordinary. Monday I sent her for the full day, still hoping things would work out. She came home with sloppy work, more than she typically would display. She was worried about missing break because she was the last to sit on the rug so she just rushed through it. Lest you think this is just me, I hear these same issues from other kinder parents, I sat in dance yesterday while two moms talked about how hard the day was for their child and the older kids (those turning 7), the homework, how their girls are really to tired to be at dance. Heck the dance class is half full of crying children (and they are all kinders that have danced at this studio before. They are simply exhausted).
So what's the point? Why are we forcing this on our littles when science tells us this is too much and not age appropriate? Why are they taking standardized tests in kinder? Wth is that about? Public kinder in our district (considered one of the best in the state) is very very institutional. I'm not even sure the teachers have time to be loving and kind and patient because they are given soooo much that has to be done. My standard question is: are these kids going to be doing differential equations in high school and writing existential works of literature at 16? What are we accomplishing by this push?
I prefer to introduce school to our kiddos in small increments. 2 half days/week, 3 half days/week, and so on. I have found it to be very effective for my kiddos and our family. Interestingly, when dd12 was beginning kinder and the curriculum was changing, the first grade teachers at her school refused to use the new curriculum. They were all seasoned educators with specialties in reading education. They hid the old curriculum and quietly used it for two years until the district Gestapo found out and actually came into the classrooms and cleared out all the old books. The new curriculum sucked and left children struggling and placed more children in special reading services that ever before (which increased the aid from the state, if you're a conspiracy theorist, this is an interesting situation). When dd12 struggled one of the teachers gave me a copy of the old curriculum she had kept at her home. This change was NOT in the best interest of the children and the teachers were screaming it from the roof top but they had no power.
As I have watched the shift in education over the past 18 years the most I can say is that I'm not impressed. Having such a wide variety of ages in our family gives us a unique perspective. I'm still a believer in k-8 public school if what they are teaching benefits the student not just the state. We prefer a Catholic high school experience providing it stays true to the tenants of the Faith. Dd5 is homeschooling kinder and is so very happy. She will also do a half day Catholic Montessori program two days per week. It is calming, welcoming, and loving. We will take each year as it comes for her. She might go back to the neighborhood school for first grade or homeschool. I'm not making any decisions right now.
Dd12 asked to homeschool 7th and 8th grade. She feels behind in math and writing and wants a chance to catch up or get ahead because she is already looking forward to college and getting into Butler's dance company. So she sees she needs to improve her academics and continue to work hard in dance. Yes, it's a 12 year olds goal but it has created an internal motivation to learn that can't be beat. While she is loving school this year she is clear that she wants to go to the Catholic high school with her brother and only homeschool jr high.
So really I have set myself up with a fun but rough year. Toddler plus kinder plus 7th grader make for an interesting school day trying to meet everyone's needs in all areas but I feel blessed to have this choice as I am keenly aware it is not an option for everyone.
As an aside, Sesame Street came out just before my brother started kinder and my mom noted that all schools needed to change their curriculum because kids already knew so much coming into school. I know with the internet and other learning avenues children are learning as well. I'm not opposed to changing curriculum as the needs arise but I don't think this current direction is a good one. And while I'm not a fan of Common Core I don't place all the blame on its shoulders as these changes have been in the works for at least 7 years.
In conclusion, IMHO: preschool great but not necessary. Kindergarten necessary at some level. Not all schools are created equal, not all kids learn at the same speed or by the same method. Love of learning and confidence in one's abilities should be the goal.
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