School’s Out for Summer

[MrsK]

I don’t get on here very often so I apologize if you’ve already mentioned this but where is K1 in his therapy? I remember him having some struggles as a toddler. I’m asking because your description of him are all big adhd red flags. What stands out for me is that you say he is 8 but acts like a 5 or 6 year old. That sits firmly inline with the diminished executive function rule of 30%. Has he had genetic testing to determine what type of med might work best for him?
Best of luck finding a great caregiver!! I’d plan for daily swimming and then home for waterplay and those inflatable backyard water parks. Lots of sun, water, and popsicles makes for a fun summer and good nights sleep! 😀

He continues to receive Occupational Therapy but we've had less significant results lately. They are working with him on social skills, table manners, impulse control, etc but the executive functions and emotional regulation are harder to address. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year. He takes 10mg of focalin in the morning (which has a dramatic positive response) and 5mg of ritilan in the afternoon (which does nothing as far as I can tell). We are also hitting a plateau with school services. With meds, he functions adequately at school so they aren't providing much.

Today, first day of summer break, DrK took the kids out for breakfast before he left for work. He forgot to give K1 his meds. Now we are at K2's martial arts class and K1 is bouncing off the walls. He's bored, noisy, fidgeting, distracted. He forgets where he's going on the way to the toilet.

Also, while I'm thrilled that he's reading more than he was a year ago, he is testing in the 45th percentile. I'm worried he won't keep up next year in 3rd grade.

I've been wondering if we should increase the afternoon meds and/or get a neuropsychological exam.

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[MrsK]

The OT is for Sensory Processing Disorder which is less of an impediment these days though he still has some vestibular problems, gross and fine motor delays but all are very subtle. Lately, he does better in stimulating environments (like arcades) than I do. I feel literally sick after a couple hours in Dave and Busters.

He also still has difficulty with social cues. He has few friends and prefers screens and audio books to people. He talks obsessively about pokemon and doesn't quit when people tell him they are not interested. He has a friend who has high functioning autism. The friend does all the things K1 did two years ago. K1 continues to do these things but to a lesser degree.

What is the rule of 30%? What do you think I should be looking for?

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[Pollyanna]

You are an awesome mama MrsK!! I know how hard this is to navigate and I just want to say that your kiddos are blessed to have you! ❤️

The 30% rule just means that generally, kiddos with ADHD function at an age level 30% lower than their stated age. So an 8 year old will act more like a 5 or six year old. As with everything, there are exceptions and some kids will be higher and some lower, but generally you’ll find the 30% rule fits. When properly medicated that difference can evaporate while the medicine is working. Since he is at a time of fast growth I would have his meds re-evaluated and I would do a full neuropsych eval. Our neuropsych recommends a new evaluation at large life changes. Before kinder, before puberty, middle school, etc. And obviously treatment in between and as needed. The evaluation just gives you a really great picture of where he is in time.

Have you listened to Dr Russell Barkley? He has fabulous lectures about ADHD. Seriously, I’ve listened to most of them 2-3 times.

I took over OT myself for dd because I found it to not be super helpful after a bit and in some ways it made her feel bad about herself. Anything that isn’t helping I’d drop because you already have so much going on.

If you want to chat more let me know or send me a pm. You should be at a sweet spot in your kiddos ages where you can get a little relief.

Hang in there mama!!!

[Pollyanna]

This is long but I promise it is so worth a listen!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

[MrsK]

You are an awesome mama MrsK!! I know how hard this is to navigate and I just want to say that your kiddos are blessed to have you! ❤️

The 30% rule just means that generally, kiddos with ADHD function at an age level 30% lower than their stated age. So an 8 year old will act more like a 5 or six year old. As with everything, there are exceptions and some kids will be higher and some lower, but generally you’ll find the 30% rule fits. When properly medicated that difference can evaporate while the medicine is working. Since he is at a time of fast growth I would have his meds re-evaluated and I would do a full neuropsych eval. Our neuropsych recommends a new evaluation at large life changes. Before kinder, before puberty, middle school, etc. And obviously treatment in between and as needed. The evaluation just gives you a really great picture of where he is in time.

Have you listened to Dr Russell Barkley? He has fabulous lectures about ADHD. Seriously, I’ve listened to most of them 2-3 times.

I took over OT myself for dd because I found it to not be super helpful after a bit and in some ways it made her feel bad about herself. Anything that isn’t helping I’d drop because you already have so much going on.

If you want to chat more let me know or send me a pm. You should be at a sweet spot in your kiddos ages where you can get a little relief.

Hang in there mama!!!

This is really helpful and makes a lot of sense. I'd agree that the maturity deficit evaporates when he's on the focalin. That's what they see at school. We had his dose increased from 5mg to 10mg about a month ago when things started going odd the rails at school. The ritilan was added last winter when we found that the focalin was wearing off late afternoon. I hate to just keep him medicated all the time.

I've been hoping that the OT or some other behavioral therapy with the meds will do the trick. That the meds will take the edge off enough for him to learn the appropriate behavior and emotional regulation. That's what happened with the reading. He can sit and track when he's medicated but, when he's not, he tires of reading quickly because it is just too hard.

Today, after martial arts, he had the focalin. The kids ate lunch and, with a little encouragement from me, he managed to get all his chores done so we could go to the pool. He did great at the pool too though the walk home was rough. Mostly, that was because the kids were all tired. Lambie was being unreasonable and K1 just can't help being unreasonable with her. So they were bickering and he was being a jerk. But they managed to get dressed once we got home and they're watching tv now. More tv that I'd like but I don't think they can handle much more today.

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[MrsK]

Also, K1 told me that he didn’t go to the school OT even once this school year. I’m guessing that’s because the meds kept him cool and he didn’t melt down at school. Instead, he saw the speech therapist for social skills groups, saw the reading specialist, and went to gifted math.

Meanwhile, K2 was in the nurses office and seeing the guidance counselor several times this year for anxiety. He asks to go to the nurses office pretty frequently, having exaggerated somatic complaints and mostly needing a hug. The guidance counselor saw him twice for panic attacks and I have asked her to meet with him every few weeks, especially in transition times. He holds it together really well at school so they were astonished the times he panicked. Everyone says he’s doing great. Then he’ll come home in tears because he doesn’t think his school work is up to par. (It’s above average by every measure.) I’m really glad we did the extra year of preschool for him.

Psychiatrists kids, huh?


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[MrsK]

This is long but I promise it is so worth a listen!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

OMG, I'm 10 minutes into this and it is so 100% accurate. The emotional impulsivity, failure to regulate emotional responses. Lambie has literally said to K1 "Hey, I'm upset too but I'm not crying. What's wrong with you?" But not the anger/hostility. He's sweet but quick to tears and distress. If anyone is quick to anger, it's K2.

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[Thirteen]

This is long but I promise it is so worth a listen!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

“You are a shepherd, not an engineer.” (My heart needed this: thank you for sharing!) ❤️


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[MrsK]

So, I’m 2 months into summer and I’ve gotten to the point where I’m ready to sell the kids. How is everyone else doing?

June wasn’t so bad. The boys had camp 3hrs/day MTWR for three weeks and it wasn’t too hot to go to the pool in the afternoon. My kids were eager to do their summer reading and we were all ready for a break from school. We had K2’s birthday party to plan and enjoy.

The mother’s helper didn’t work out. She was just....TWELVE. So, we’d go out and she’d be distracted by a boy from school or the candy machine or wanting to play. We’d stay in and she’d follow me around chatting nonstop about things that matter to 12 year old girls instead of keeping the kids out of my hair.

Now, it’s just hot and the kids are bored. They’ve played with all the birthday gifts. K2 and Lambie are done with their summer reading programs. I’m still fighting K1 every day to do his. Attempts to modify his medication regime have been unsuccessful and we are trying to get him in to see an ADHD specialist sometime this Fall. The kids bicker constantly and watch way too much television. I haven’t had time apart from them since May. I’m just out of steam.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Local YMCA camps? At least in NC, they usually have random August weeks open.

I’m sorry. I feel like late July/early August is when everyone runs out of steam.


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[MrsK]

Local YMCA camps? At least in NC, they usually have random August weeks open.

I’m sorry. I feel like late July/early August is when everyone runs out of steam.


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I keep telling myself this is the home stretch. They go back to school in 3 weeks and then I’ll be missing lazy days where they can wear their pjs all day and don’t have homework. We have a trip with my in laws planned for next week (yay) and the college-aged sitter will be with me for about 4 days in August. That is a godsend because there is literally nothing to do here in August.

I think I’m just sick of preparing all their meals and snacks! K2 and Lambie eat all day long. K1 and Lambie hate everything I make.

It’s ok to let them watch 12 hours of tv, right? Asking for a friend.


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[OrionGrad]

Does your Michael's have craft classes? Ours has a "craft camp" for an hour each day. It only costs $2, and the moms can go wander around the store while the kids make the craft with a teacher. We've gone a handful of times and had fun. We've also been staying busy with swim lessons. This was supposed to be their last week, but I decided to do one more just so they'd have more to do.

For snacks, I've stocked up on apples, pears, and peaches. They grab an apple, wash it off in the sink, and we've got snack time with zero prep for me.#lazymom

[alotofyarn]

My kids are definitely watching too much TV. It's hot, and half the time they fight whenever we try to do something fun. This is our last week off though, so I do want to try to do some more activities, but we'll see how that goes.

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[PrincessFiona]

I’m working this summer, but I come home every lunch break to walk the dog with Zoe or eat with her.

My kids spend way too much time on their iPads/Xbox because they are unsupervised.

I decided I’m over it. I came up with a very short chore list for each of them, printed out some math worksheets, and am buying them each a book tomorrow. They will read a certain amount each day and write a short summary. All of these things will be accomplished by the time I get home or technology will be turned off until it is.

But to be fair, Aidan has been doing daily outside chores. He’s earning money towards a PC.

I’m so looking forward to my August vacation. My mom is flying up and we’re driving to Colorado with Zoe and Aidan!

Kris


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