Repeating Kinder

[OrionGrad]

It’s interesting to hear all the different perspectives and how many different factors are at play. Being in California, I’ve had a different experience because we have public Transitional Kindergarten (this is fairly recent) so parents who are willing to talk to their district can red shirt without paying for an extra year of Pre-K. My two boys were both within days of the cutoff, so it was a no brainer to hold them back, but I assume Emilia will go straight from Pre-K to K with an April birthday when the time comes.

Our teachers have been very supportive of red shirting. Our K teacher last year said K just isn’t what it used to be and he would hold his son back if he was in the same situation.

It’s cool to hear different perspectives. I’ve had lots of the same concerns you mentioned, but I think at the end of the day we’re all just trying to do the best for our kids, whether we red shirt or homeschool or anything else!


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[alotofyarn]

E is going to repeat Kinder this year. Academically, she's 100% ready to go to first grade, and I think she'd still be at the top of her class. I honestly even think she'd do OK socially for now, but with all of the redshirting going on, I'm not ready for it. Plus she's just really not old enough - she turns 6 in November.

C has a February birthday, and I still plan to send him on time, even if he is the youngest in his class. Academically, he's nowhere near where E was at this age, but he's just a different kid. I think he'll be fine, but if not, we'll reassess when it gets closer.

[MrsC]

I think I would do the same. Studies show that it all levels off academically after a few years so why not give her a a little extra time if she could benefit socially.
C is starting K this year and I'm very curious to see what age his peers will be. He's an October baby so he missed the September cutoff in PA but he would have made the January cutoff here in CT. When I asked if that mattered they said the vast majority of parents would red shirt in that instance. So he'll be a few weeks shy of 6 starting K.
When R's time comes it will be a tougher decision to make because he turns 5 at the end of August. We shall see.
Meanwhile, we were almost second guessing our decision to send them to Catholic school because our school district is quite good. I've actually had total strangers get annoyed with me over it 🙄 I just tell them it's the best fit for our family and leave it at that. I think anytime you're doing something that's not following the masses, whether it's homeschooling, private school or repeating K, people are going to have a problem with it.

[Flynn]

So I'm interested in the different cut offs?

Where I live it's not even a question (unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances) to keep your kids home if they have a fall birthday.

So where we live, Sept. through May -- you send on time which means your child is 5 entering kindergarten turning 6 (or already 6 if summer bday) . You can pay for an outside evaluation and fill out a ton of paperwork to keep at home but hardly anyone I know does it. June through August it's a parent's choice.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

It’s just an arms race, like I said.

If June is too young, what about May? And if William is born 5/2, should I also hold my son born 4/21?

That’s why I’m wondering when it stops. Because if you need to be 6 in Kindy, we should just say that. Because you are truly going to have teachers that have kids 18 months apart now that it’s creeping into spring birthdays and now everything in school is about “differentiated instruction” and meeting the needs of all the kids. So as a teacher, you now have to teach Kindy AND a kid who’s old enough to be in 1st grade (and not a young first grader!).

Again, not judging any specific family. It’s just curious to me.


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[OrionGrad]

When I was growing up, the cutoff in California was in December. Now the cutoff is September 1st. Kids born between September 1 and December 1 go from Pre-K to Transitional Kindergarten. Kids born after December 1 go straight from Pre-K to K. If you think about it, fall birthday kids here get an extra free year of public education now.

Whether a summer birthday kid does an extra year of Pre-K (private, so $) or gets admitted to TK (public, so free) depends on the district. I know some districts that are strict about the cutoff and some that are not.

I don’t know of very many spring birthday kids here who red shirt. It’s mainly a thing for summer birthday boys.


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[alotofyarn]

The cutoff here is age 5 by August 15 for Kinder, so it's really not an actual issue for us, except like others have mentioned, kids with any summer and now moving onto late spring are waiting a year, so kids who are turning 6 before school starts will be going to school with kids who don't turn 6 until up to a year or more later. C will most likely be the youngest kid in his class, especially among the boys, but I'm not interested in paying an extra 12k or so to keep him in daycare for another year just so he's not the youngest (unless I truly feel he's not ready, but for now I don't anticipate that).

[scarlett09]

Cutoff here is 5 by October 1st for K. They also have an additional stipulation: must be no older than 13 by May 1st for 6th grade. I think this puts a limit for redshirting to at least summer birthdays.

E turns 5 in December, so she misses the cutoff and will do what is essentially Pre-K 4 as a repeat year at daycare.

This baby will be late August/early September, so could be one of the youngest or one of the oldest, depending upon what we decide to do. Other than what she’s doing in her uterus condo, need to wait and see what her personality is like before making a decision on that. 😂


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Cutoff here is 5 by October 1st for K. They also have an additional stipulation: must be no older than 13 by May 1st for 6th grade. I think this puts a limit for redshirting to at least summer birthdays.

See this is really smart. It gives parents some discretion but not an arms race where your kid can be like 8 in Kindergarten.

Sounds like ALOY is in a similar situation to us if she’s anticipating a Feb boy to be the youngest. Because by this logic, at least in our town, it’s starting to be like Kindy is ONLY for kids with Sept-Dec birthdays (starting at 5 but turning 6 within the first few months) or you red shirt.


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[SoonerTexan]

It's Sept 1st here.

Back "in my day" that had something called transitional 1st. Kids deemed not ready for 1st grade after 1/2 day kindergarten were in that class. That seems to be a better option, but oh well. Downside is I think there was a little bit of "oh they are the dumb ones" among kids too young to understand.

[Flynn]

Another "issue" where I live with the "send as soon as the kid can go" is the "resend."

There is a growling group of people who send, then decide it was a dumb idea and resend (take kindergarten twice in the same school or neighboring public school)

They essentially get 13 years of public education. Many say it's to avoid daycare/nanny costs and many say it's a judgement call and parents are allowed to make that decision. There is a movement within the district to have parents who do this (because ironically it's white collar people who generally participate in the resend) PAY for the last year of elementary school.

[alison]

Just reading this. My dd turns 10 on Sept 1 and starts 5th grade on Sept 4. She is BY far the youngest in her class, and there are kids entering the grade below her who are older than she is. The mean girl stuff is real, as someone mentioned earlier, and that was tough to see when my dd was in 2nd and 3rd grade and the girls that were 15 months older than her with breast buds would come at her to gossip about crushes and boys. And there was my clueless 7-year old.

When she was younger I often wondered whether we made the right choice with pushing her into K as a newly-minted 5-year old, but there are some kids who are older than my dd by over a year where it makes sense to me that they’re held back. That said, it’s also incredibly annoying to have these super old kids in class and their parents always asking me why dd is so young. Actually, she’s in the proper class... But that seems to be the trend... My second daughter is a May birthday, and she’s also the youngest in her class. Seems crazy to me, because when I was a kid a May birthday was pretty much smack dab in the middle of pack. But it’s really all a crapshoot, and in the end, we all try to do what we think is best for our kids. Good luck! I’m sure it will all work out, and she will thrive.

[houseelf]

This is a relatively benign issue that I have lots of feelings about.

DD is the youngest (August 20) by far in a district where red shirting is the de facto norm. It made her feel less capable athletically on teams in middle school and has really shown up in things like cut off dates for summer camp with her friends, dating (No, you may not date a boy three years older than you in the grade above you), and a metric ton of mean girl stuff. Her class has a ton of assholes, so this also colors my thinking.

DS is the oldest (early summer). He's only in fourth and so far it's been great.

Professionally speaking, I read an article that showed adhd school referrals correlates with young school entrance dates. News flash, most of the standards expected to be taught in K and 1 are not developmentally appropriate for 4 and 5 year olds. It's not the kids' ages, it's the bullshit expectations.

[Pollyanna]

News flash, most of the standards expected to be taught in K and 1 are not developmentally appropriate for 4 and 5 year olds. It's not the kids' ages, it's the bullshit expectations.

YES YES YES!!! It is bizarre to me the “standards” set have nothing to do with what’s developmentally appropriate.

[civilspouse]

Repeating Kinder

Ugh. Now I’m totally second guessing myself. After I spoke to the principal about where she was at and what they teach/expect of kindergarten vs first grade we decided to have her do first. We will see how it goes. Hopefully it will be fine.


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