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I have an aunt who's not really an aunt but anyway, she has a teenage daughter who is in 10th grade. Turns out, she's been seeing a college guy (as in late college, 21 years old!). Her mom told her that she was to stop talking to him, seeing him, etc a few months ago but found out this week that the kid's been sneaking around with him. I doubt they've slept together but still, the notion of a 21 year old grown ass man being interested in a 10th grader skeeves me out. I was more into being rebellious with alcohol and ditching school at that age so I really didn't know what to say to her except I'd probably talk to the guy and tell him to get the hell away from my teenage daughter. Anyone have any better advice?
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No normal 20-something wants anything to so with a 15/16 y/o and Mr. Dumbass has obviously never heard the saying, "16 will get you 20".
I'd contact local law enforcement and ask about options. Also, maybe check to see if this douchecanoe is a sex offender. I'd he's not a sex offender, he probably doesn't want to be registered as one. Maybe throwing around the term "communicating with a minor for immoral purposes" will get his attention
Laws vary (sometimes DRASTICALLY) by state, but if this were happening in my state, dude might be up some serious Shit Creek if kiddo is under 16 (our state's age of consent) and he's over 4 or 5 years her senior. -
Dh and I started dating when I was in high school and he was in college. He is 6 years older than me. Although, we have known each other our whole lives, so at least I knew him before.
I was never interested in dating a high school guy, so that was never going to happen. Started dating and have been together ever since.Comment
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My 17 year old cousin is dating a 23 year old. Recently out of rehab.Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.
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We've got a casual 10% of your age in either direction rule. I'd talk more directly to the guy (he should know better) and more carefully to the girl. She might not realize how much older that really is - ask her if she'd date some one 5 years younger than her. An 11 year old? I don't think so. That's how much less life experience she has; she needs to cool it and grow up a little first. If they both still have feelings for each other in a few years, maybe there's a different story. You can fall in love early and 5 years isn't that great a difference; it just is at her age.Angie
Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)
"Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"Comment
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I agree that five years isn't a big deal -- for adults. It's a HUGE deal when one party is under 18, though.Originally posted by Sheherezade View Post
I've dated older guys, but none in their 20s when I was 15 or 16. We wouldn't have had anything in common. If we did, there would be larger issues.Comment
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Hence my 10% conversation with my kids - because an age difference of 2 years when you are 20 is more significant than when you are 40.
And I agree that the bright white line of "legality" needs to be strictly enforced.Angie
Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)
"Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"Comment
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I don't necessarily have an issue with the age difference but I have a HUGE difference with the lying. If she can't be open and honest about her relationship she is not ready or mature enough to be in a relationship. The same goes for the man she is dating. I would have the guy over for a very serious chat...Tara
Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.
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Brandi, sorry if I offended you...
So got more details and this guy is dodging any chance to show himself to be a decent person to her family...Literally, running away when he sees one of them coming. Red flag anyone? Thanks for the advice guys, I'll pass it on to her mom.Comment
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Oh hell, if that's the case just call the cops. I'm so sorry, that must be so scary for the family.Originally posted by Curegirl View PostTara
Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.Comment
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Wha...? So they can't see him? Yeah, contact local law enforcement. My bet is that he might be known to them or on a sex offender registry. Some jurisdictions don't publish level I offenders.Originally posted by Curegirl View PostComment
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I think the difference is that your dude was a known quantity since you and your family had known him since damn near birth.Originally posted by bokelley View PostComment
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Agreed, knowing each other and your families for a long time different from this random ass coward. Seeing her family tonight so going to tell her to call the cops. Hats off to you who have teen girls. I can't imagine how stressful it is fearing for their safety but not keeping them sequestered.Comment
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Cops called and girl ran off. Holy cow, the drama.Comment
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Holy fuck.
BTW - on the teen girl front, having a 6'3", 230#, weightlifter dad helps scare the shit out of most dumbasses. Only the too-stupid-to-breathe ones try anything even remotely dumb.Comment
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