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This topic ONLY pertains to kids >13, not making the five year old brush the teeth, etc. Please keep it respectful because I'm already admitting that this is kind of a grey area and quit frankly this stuff is hard any way you slice it.
Have you ever "made" your teen do an activity? Last year, my husband, DS15, and I sat down and tentatively mapped out HS courses. We advised him that we would pay for 4 years in-state college tuition so he needed to remove any idea of a blow off senior year if he could get college credits for free. We also said our rule would be that if he was participating in a sport, we would support him taking a study hall that semester. He planned to play both soccer and lacrosse so he signed him up for a full year of study hall.
All summer long, he balked at the time and physical commitment of playing soccer with all of the summer conditioning, most of which is optional. After getting into the season, he ended up having a blast, developing some great skills, and now wants to play again next year. Guess who was plagued with inertia yet again this entire month about the impending lacrosse season? Yup. I'm not proud nor entirely confident that making him honor his agreement was the right choice, but we made him stick to his original agreement. We told him he should play his freshman year when it is easiest to make the team, when he had already made the study hall pact, and while his skills were still fresh from summer lacrosse. His first practice was today and he came out smiling and laughing with his friends. I'm torn because dammit, it's his life. He's fifteen, at some level he's got to want it. Mommy and Daddy can provide the best schools, tutors, and coaches, but he's going to have to grind to get somewhere. On the other hand, he already quit band and chess club. I'm pretty sure that his alternative would be t sitting around hanging out with his friends and on the xbox all the time. I'm 60% sure of my decision, but damn I hate feeling like a cross between a crazy sports mom and probation officer. I just want to keep him involved in *something* and help him work through that teenage boy inertia.
Tell me, what would a good mom do? I'm all out here. I got nothing.
Have you ever "made" your teen do an activity? Last year, my husband, DS15, and I sat down and tentatively mapped out HS courses. We advised him that we would pay for 4 years in-state college tuition so he needed to remove any idea of a blow off senior year if he could get college credits for free. We also said our rule would be that if he was participating in a sport, we would support him taking a study hall that semester. He planned to play both soccer and lacrosse so he signed him up for a full year of study hall.
All summer long, he balked at the time and physical commitment of playing soccer with all of the summer conditioning, most of which is optional. After getting into the season, he ended up having a blast, developing some great skills, and now wants to play again next year. Guess who was plagued with inertia yet again this entire month about the impending lacrosse season? Yup. I'm not proud nor entirely confident that making him honor his agreement was the right choice, but we made him stick to his original agreement. We told him he should play his freshman year when it is easiest to make the team, when he had already made the study hall pact, and while his skills were still fresh from summer lacrosse. His first practice was today and he came out smiling and laughing with his friends. I'm torn because dammit, it's his life. He's fifteen, at some level he's got to want it. Mommy and Daddy can provide the best schools, tutors, and coaches, but he's going to have to grind to get somewhere. On the other hand, he already quit band and chess club. I'm pretty sure that his alternative would be t sitting around hanging out with his friends and on the xbox all the time. I'm 60% sure of my decision, but damn I hate feeling like a cross between a crazy sports mom and probation officer. I just want to keep him involved in *something* and help him work through that teenage boy inertia.
Tell me, what would a good mom do? I'm all out here. I got nothing.
I joined every team and group for the social interactions first, activity second. If I had a group of friends to sit at home with and a mom that didn't annoy me, I'd have been all over that. Would it have benefited me? Not at all. 
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