Chores

[PrincessFiona]

Do you pay an allowance for chores? If not, how do you motivate them?
Also, at what age do you expect them to do their own laundry?


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[Meenah]

When I realized my kids could program the VCR (I'm old), they were instructed in how to operate the washing machine and dryer!!! Around 12 to 13 years old.

[civilspouse]

My sisters kids all do there own laundry. They don’t get screen time till it’s done. Her youngest is 11. She recently figured out that he was just sticking the wet clothes into his drawers 😀. He figured he could just skip the drying and folding part.


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[scrub-jay]

My dd (8) does her own laundry. Ds (5) folds and puts away.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

My DD (6.5) does everything but add soap and flip the laundry. She puts it in, folds it, and puts it away. She also usually supervises the Badger (2.5yo) in putting his away in his low drawers (jammies and shirts).

My DD2 (4.5) puts hers away and helps us sort/collect from around the house.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We haven’t done allowance yet although we need to do so.

No allowance for chores unless it’s beyond the normal tasks. Laundry, clearing the table, picking up rooms are all expected and required. It’s part of being on “Team M” to keep our house ready for daily living. If things get messy (which they often do), we will blitz pick up as a family after dinner one night.

But I do have someone do bathrooms and the kitchen every 2 weeks so no children are touching chemicals. And my eldest is homeschooled so has more time for some of these chores.


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[SoonerTexan]

Well, my almost 3 year old is quite adept at the laundry

N is responsible for putting hers away. She would probably be capable of doing it all solo, but I don't trust her to stain treat and separate out certain items yet. I'm shooting for her to be fully independent with laundry at 10.

Working on the boys. I need to start with the middle child. I've been meaning to, but just haven't.

[MrsK]

My dd (8) does her own laundry. Ds (5) folds and puts away.

Wow. I feel like a slacker mom. My husband doesn’t even know how to do his own laundry.


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[PrincessFiona]

Wow. I feel like a slacker mom. My husband doesn’t even know how to do his own laundry.


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I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. I’m old school. I feel like good moms do their kids laundry. Lol. I had this beaten into my head by my mil. I take pride in doing their laundry even though I sometimes complain. My kids have long days and a lot of homework. They have little down time. I want to nurture them. This has been turned around into me being an inadequate mom though.


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[MsSassyBaskets]

We're starting the laundry chores with mine (almost 4). She can fold her clothes (not well, but I praise and don't criticize) and items like dish towels, and put them away. I'm working on doing less tidying up for her, and she did a really good job with her room last night and then this morning said "Look how beautiful it is in here!" She liked to help switch the laundry from washer to drying starting at age 2. So, I have a unicorn child and am not qualified to give advice.

[Phoebe]

My girls start doing their own laundry in 7th grade. All kids put away their clothes, sometimes they help fold. I really need to have my kids do more around the house. I am all for nurturing them, but I also believe it is my job to teach my kids to be responsible adults. I knew how to do laundry and iron. I was never taught to cook.


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[rufflesanddots]

I'm trying to remember when I started doing chores. 9 at the latest. I was doing all my own laundry by 12, in addition to weekly chores. I think dinner was my job once a week by 16, and then helping with errands after I got my license.

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[scrub-jay]

I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. I’m old school. I feel like good moms do their kids laundry. Lol. I had this beaten into my head by my mil. I take pride in doing their laundry even though I sometimes complain. My kids have long days and a lot of homework. They have little down time. I want to nurture them. This has been turned around into me being an inadequate mom though.


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Inadequate? I think it’s just differing views on what makes a “good mom” which is very subjective and individualized. Independence was key in my upbringing, my mother has made comments that I do way too much for my children. At 8, I was able to cook a family dinner (including chopping and sautéing onions and garlic) and even though my children help with meals, full planning and execution is beyond them right now. I was raised that a “good mother” prepares her children to be functional, independent adults. I tend to parent similarly. There’s something to be said for adapting to each child too. Even if you teach your child to do laundry at {insert ideal age} they may or may not be ready to learn it. One of my favorite podcast/homeschool gurus said that she started having her kids do their own laundry at a certain age (I can’t recall), but they did it together start-to-finish for an entire year. She has 5-6 kids and it worked well for each of them and they learned stain removal, dryer vs. hung dry, etc. It was a very gentle way to teach a skill and slowly pass the torch of responsibility. I’d already taught dd, but I may do that with my boys.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Inadequate? I think it’s just differing views on what makes a “good mom” which is very subjective and individualized. Independence was key in my upbringing, my mother has made comments that I do way too much for my children. At 8, I was able to cook a family dinner (including chopping and sautéing onions and garlic) and even though my children help with meals, full planning and execution is beyond them right now. I was raised that a “good mother” prepares her children to be functional, independent adults. I tend to parent similarly. There’s something to be said for adapting to each child too. Even if you teach your child to do laundry at {insert ideal age} they may or may not be ready to learn it. One of my favorite podcast/homeschool gurus said that she started having her kids do their own laundry at a certain age (I can’t recall), but they did it together start-to-finish for an entire year. She has 5-6 kids and it worked well for each of them and they learned stain removal, dryer vs. hung dry, etc. It was a very gentle way to teach a skill and slowly pass the torch of responsibility. I’d already taught dd, but I may do that with my boys.

100% this. It's why I made a point that mine are homeschooled. I was raised to be completely independent and then actually was independent when my parents divorced at 16 (I basically parented my younger brother from that point forward). I was not raised that home is a soft place to land. I'd like to end up somewhere in the middle.

DH was homeschooled and also learned to do these things because he was around his house more. If I sent mine away, I would definitely tidy after them but there is ALWAYS SOMEONE HOME to make a mess...so we all do it together because that it literally the only choice I have unless I want them to learn to watch me clean. If they were in school, they'd be gone and not home to put away laundry while they wait for me to do something, etc.

I like what @scrub-jay suggested and will likely need to do that with my D4.5. She definitely will not simply catch on the way DD6.5 did. Also, when I say they "do their laundry", it is extremely common that we are all doing these things together or side-by-side. She's folding laundry and I'm folding the adult clothes and her siblings clothes. I'm 100% certain that if I died tomorrow, she wouldn't just carry on doing laundry as if it wasn't a chore. I definitely help her and remind her. I don't think they get true 100% independence until age 10+ when they actually care what they wear.

[SoonerTexan]

Their future wives will thank you for it!