Chores

[MrsK]

I'm so compulsive about keeping the house tidy that I have a hard time delegating chores. I do expect the kids to tidy their rooms, make beds, put toys and clothes away.

The boys switch off "laundry helper" and "kitchen helper" duties. I plan to add "living room helper" to the rotation once Lambie starts kindergarten. For now, she is "assistant helper" to the boys but does very little. I start allowance in kindergarten. It's not tied to chores but can be denied if they don't pitch in or otherwise neglect their responsibilities.

Laundry helper collects dirty laundry, sorts, sometimes helps fold and put away. I'll probably have them start switching loads now that we have front loading machines.

Kitchen helper empties the dishwasher, washes some dishes, sets the table, wipes tables and countertops, and sometimes helps cook.

I do nearly all these chores with the kids.





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[MrsK]

Also, I find that sometimes doing chores for them helps me check up on them. I discover all kinds of contraband when making their beds or putting away their laundry.

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm so compulsive about keeping the house tidy that I have a hard time delegating chores. I do expect the kids to tidy their rooms, make beds, put toys and clothes away.

It probably helps that I have incredibly low standards. My friends who live in always clean and spotless homes do not let their children clean or tidy (or absolutely manage every second of that tidying) because it's literally often messier or they've hidden the mess instead of "cleaning". For instance, when I make my kids tidy their room or the playroom, I routinely find things shoved onto the shelves with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes I let it slide but every 1-2 weeks, I insist that everything actually go in its place. But for me, "tidy" means basically "get it out of my sight" which means I'm fine with letting the kids do it. If I had higher standards (which I've been in your home [MENTION=1498]MrsK[/MENTION] and I know you keep a lovely home and have admirable standards that I could never even hope to have), I would probably have to do more work instead of asking them to just tidy.

[PrincessFiona]

Chores

As far as raising independent adults is concerned, I did Alex and most of Amanda’s laundry until they moved out. I did show them how to use the machines. Both Alex and Amanda do their laundry now on their own. They fold and hang things just like I modeled for them. Alex even irons his clothes. It seems my method also produced independent adults.


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[scrub-jay]

As far as raising independent adults is concerned, I did Alex and most of Amanda’s laundry until they moved out. I did show them how to use the machines. Both Alex and Amanda do their laundry now on their own. They fold and hang things just like I modeled for them. Alex even irons his clothes. It seems my method also produced independent adults.


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Then why are you feeling you’re “doing it all wrong” (your words, not mine)? Maybe you should just trust in your own process.

[Pollyanna]

I think you do what works for your family and each individual child. I do all the laundry. I even do laundry that comes home with college kiddos. Can they do their own? Of course, I taught them how but honesty they wake up at 6am and have school and activities until 7-9 each night plus homework. Expecting them to add laundry to their list when I’m home seems unnecessary. Now if their schedule was more open then I think it may be different. We don’t really do “chores” we just expect kiddos to help when asked. We expect they take the family needs into consideration and we as parents consider their needs when we ask for help. I don’t care what their rooms look like and I don’t have the cleaning ladies clean in their rooms. I teach them the basics like laundry, ironing, how to properly vacuum, clean a bathroom, how to cook a few things, bake a few things, etc. Our goal has always been to try and teach our children to “see” where they can help and to jump in and be of service. So we try and encourage that behavior vs doing specific chores. I think there are many ways to approach chores and having a service mentality. Whatever works with your family is the way to go!

[PrincessFiona]

Then why are you feeling you’re “doing it all wrong” (your words, not mine)? Maybe you should just trust in your own process.

Because the larger culture tells me I am. I'm insecure. I'm always looking for the right way to be the best mom I can.

[PrincessFiona]

This sounds like my approach. My kids are at school and in activities until late. They get tons of homework. I don't mind easing their loads. I have made Aidan wash his clothes when he brings down a pile of clean stuff to be washed as a way of getting out of putting things away. Zoe helps fold towels and I've been teaching her how to hang up her things...I do it with her sometimes but don't mind doing it on my own. Honestly, doing their laundry relieves me of stress. I know they have their soccer uniforms clean and ready, I know where their concert clothes are. I know everyone has enough underwear and clothing to get through the week. I'd be a mess if I had to trust them to do it all on their own. I like to know it's done. That doesn't mean I don't show them how to do it. It gives me pleasure to wash for Alex or Amanda on the off-time they bring laundry home. I feel good about doing something nice for them. I know they do their laundry all the time.

I think you do what works for your family and each individual child. I do all the laundry. I even do laundry that comes home with college kiddos. Can they do their own? Of course, I taught them how but honesty they wake up at 6am and have school and activities until 7-9 each night plus homework. Expecting them to add laundry to their list when I’m home seems unnecessary. Now if their schedule was more open then I think it may be different. We don’t really do “chores” we just expect kiddos to help when asked. We expect they take the family needs into consideration and we as parents consider their needs when we ask for help. I don’t care what their rooms look like and I don’t have the cleaning ladies clean in their rooms. I teach them the basics like laundry, ironing, how to properly vacuum, clean a bathroom, how to cook a few things, bake a few things, etc. Our goal has always been to try and teach our children to “see” where they can help and to jump in and be of service. So we try and encourage that behavior vs doing specific chores. I think there are many ways to approach chores and having a service mentality. Whatever works with your family is the way to go!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

This sounds like my approach. My kids are at school and in activities until late. They get tons of homework. I don't mind easing their loads. I have made Aidan wash his clothes when he brings down a pile of clean stuff to be washed as a way of getting out of putting things away. Zoe helps fold towels and I've been teaching her how to hang up her things...I do it with her sometimes but don't mind doing it on my own. Honestly, doing their laundry relieves me of stress. I know they have their soccer uniforms clean and ready, I know where their concert clothes are. I know everyone has enough underwear and clothing to get through the week. I'd be a mess if I had to trust them to do it all on their own. I like to know it's done. That doesn't mean I don't show them how to do it. It gives me pleasure to wash for Alex or Amanda on the off-time they bring laundry home. I feel good about doing something nice for them. I know they do their laundry all the time.

This makes total sense to me. I’m sure I will feel this way too when they’re older and involved in a million things. Right now, it’s easy and I control all their time but once they “know”, I can totally see blessing them by doing their laundry quite frequently.


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