Did anyone have a party to meet new neighbors after moving?

[oceanchild]

We did an "open house" that included a few of our neighbors... but it took us a year to get around to it. A year is a long time, but I do think the party was more fun later because even though there were some people we didn't know very well, they were mixed in with friends, so we had people to introduce people to and some built in conversation starters. We also didn't invite a lot of our neighbors, primarily because they don't speak English, and while DH and I both speak some Spanish, we haven't had any conversations with them. I'm sort of embarrassed about that, but it's true. I guess I'm just emphasizing the point that it does depend on who your neighbors are and what your neighborhood is like.

Thanks for all the replies about the house party--now all we have to do is figure out how to invite the neighbors. The only way I can think of is put a hand-written invite in their mailbox?

DH and I are both kind of anxious about meeting people in our new area. We don't know anyone within a 20 mile radius except one of DH's colleagues lives nearby but he's in his 50's and I doubt will want to hang out with us. We have signed up for some meetup.com groups, but we find that the activities just aren't very frequent and DH can't usually go anyways because of work/call. We are also going to join a local gym, so that might be a good place to meet people. Other than that, we're trying to think of other ideas of how to meet people in our new area.

[SuzySunshine]

Aren't you a grad student? What is that in? Have you met anyone there? Even though it seems you're probably nontraditional that seems to be more common.

Aren't you a grad student? What is that in? Have you met anyone there? Even though it seems you're probably nontraditional that seems to be more common.

Yes, I've made some friends at grad school but they all live in the city=nowhere near our new place.

We feel that it's easier to become friends with people when they live relatively close by, so we're trying to figure out how to meet people in our new area, since we pretty much don't know a single person there. We've joined various meetup groups, and we're going to join a local gym, and I'm excited about that--I think that's a good place to meet people. I'm also going to keep an eye out for events at the local library and maybe knitting circle type events, so I can meet other women. One nice thing about just having moved is that it's a good ice-breaker. Everyone likes to offer recommendations and suggestions about the area, so it makes it easy to talk to people.

My grad school friends are all incredibly busy. They are either immersed in the dating world, so they're too busy to hang out with me much, or they've got small children, so they're busy with their families.

National Night Out?

Hi Melissa,

I think the block party is the way to go. Have you heard of National Night Out? It's Tuesday, August 3. http://www.nationalnightout.org/nno/ It's a block watch party designed specifically with community safety in mind to help neighbors meet their neighbors. Your local city council should have info about whether anything has been set up in your neighborhood, and if not, why not volunteer to organize it for your block?

My parents' neighborhood has been doing this for years, the city even lets them block off the street for a few hours so they literally have the tables and chairs set up out in the street. It usually has a pretty good turnout and since it's on "neutral ground", people seem to be more comfortable opening up. I've actually been thinking about doing this in our neighborhood; we're in a similar situation as you are with being new to the area and trying to meet people.

Good luck!

[MrsK]

Or you could do what we did. . . move into a neighborhood where the next youngest people are about 65 and have a baby. I swear our neighbors come flying out of their houses every time we take the baby out for a walk.

[HouseofWool]

Or you could do what we did. . . move into a neighborhood where the next youngest people are about 65 and have a baby. I swear our neighbors come flying out of their houses every time we take the baby out for a walk.

[bokelley]

Hi Melissa,

I think the block party is the way to go. Have you heard of National Night Out? It's Tuesday, August 3. http://www.nationalnightout.org/nno/ It's a block watch party designed specifically with community safety in mind to help neighbors meet their neighbors. Your local city council should have info about whether anything has been set up in your neighborhood, and if not, why not volunteer to organize it for your block?

My parents' neighborhood has been doing this for years, the city even lets them block off the street for a few hours so they literally have the tables and chairs set up out in the street. It usually has a pretty good turnout and since it's on "neutral ground", people seem to be more comfortable opening up. I've actually been thinking about doing this in our neighborhood; we're in a similar situation as you are with being new to the area and trying to meet people.

Good luck!

There are signed posted in everyone's yard in our neighborhood for this. I had no idea what it was. DH asked me if it was just a bunch of rich kids camping out, with like armed guards or something...

[Vishenka69]

We kind of thought of doing this last year when we moved into our house (after living in rentals our whole lives). I think I even started a thread here asking how to approach our new neighbors. We didn't end up doing anything because I got pregnant a month after moving and was ordered to stay off my feet for several months. During that time our elderly neighbors stopped by to welcome us the neighborhood. They've been "taking care" of us ever since - making sure we're ok when the power goes us, plowing our driveway and checking up on DD.

[peggyfromwastate]

I think this is all really regional. (Here in the metro DC area I don't think anyone would be comfortable going into anyone else's house-- at least not in my neighborhood...) We have a big HOA and so within that we got to know many people in our neighborhood as a whole through the swim team. The other people we know from just seeing them around, or asking them to buy girl scout cookies, that sort of thing. We pretty much know everyone in our little neighborhood, but we don't do cool 'hood get togethers like DCJenn.

I wouldn't feel awkward saying hi to a neighbor, though, even months after moving in.

Since you live in an HOA, find out who your subassociation president is, then go to that person's house and ask if your neighborhood is doing any neighborhood events- like a neighborhood clean up day, or a yard sale, or the block party. Your subassociation president will know everyone in the neighborhood, too.

We kind of thought of doing this last year when we moved into our house (after living in rentals our whole lives). I think I even started a thread here asking how to approach our new neighbors. We didn't end up doing anything because I got pregnant a month after moving and was ordered to stay off my feet for several months. During that time our elderly neighbors stopped by to welcome us the neighborhood. They've been "taking care" of us ever since - making sure we're ok when the power goes us, plowing our driveway and checking up on DD.

I guess I need to read that thread about how to approach one's new neighbors [sigh]. No one has come by to introduce themselves or welcome us to the neighborhood, despite the fact that we are out in the front yard a lot. We ended up making the first move with the few neighbors we've seen so far, after realizing that no one was going to approach us.

I guess I didn't expect the new neighbors to be so disinterested. We already experienced that sort of level of disinterest in our rentals in the city, and felt that home-ownership would be different. I think we decided to scrap the "party" idea that we had planned. Also, DH feels that we don't fit in in our neighborhood because we seem to be the only childless couple, as well as the only ones without a dog, and I guess that I feel that way too.

[DCJenn]

Well, the key to the success of our fabulous neighborhood get-togethers is that after the first year of everyone taking turns, (and I don't mean everyone, there are people who never come) is that we made a schedule- so I know that we host in August (and May but that's another story). WE don't do one in July or January because they're too close to 'regular' holidays.

No one knew anyone when we moved in. It's all about getting out of your own comfort zone and taking the first step. If you want to have a party then just do it. People may or may not show up- some months we have HUGE parties and some months everyone gets busy and there's only a few people who show up. We keep it completely low key- no pressure come if you can. We had a new family come to First Thursday this month- and by 'new' I mean they've lived on the street a year and finally made it to one. We have another couple down the street who due to their jobs have only ever made it to one. But that one let all of us meet them and them meet us and now they know who their neighbors are. It makes for a safer and more secure neighborhood, even if you only wave to them as they walk the dog or whatever. If you know the names of your neighbors, you know which cars are theirs, and what their general hours are then when things are unusual, we can act on it.

I also have the keys to three of the neighbors houses because with the dude, I'm generally home the most. If someone locks themselves out, I'm more likely to be home than the singles or the childfree.

Just do it. What's the worst thing that could happen? No one comes. OK- and if no one comes- screw 'em. They missed a good time and good food.

Jenn

It's my experience that basically people are people, and they're all busy with this that or the other. I don't think it's anything to take personally that nobody's come by - I watched the couple move in 3 houses down across the street and have yet to talk to them. They moved in last winter. I just don't have time - or they aren't a high enough priority for me to make time to meet them. I'm sure they're lovely people but I have other stuff to do. *shrug*

I see what you're saying about people who live further away but I am just surprised that our next door neighbors and across the street neighbors are so disinterested. I'm the kind of person who tries to make others feel welcome, whether it's a new person at work or school, etc. If we had a new neighbor we'd go out of our way to make them feel welcome, but I realize that most people aren't like that it seems.

[ladymoreta]

I wouldn't take it personally - people just don't typically go introduce themselves as often anymore. I blame the extinction of the front porch. When I was growing up (small, rural town), my grandparents and the other older couples in the neighborhood would sit on their front porches every evening, or they would walk around and visit with other people on their porches. Now, you go straight from your garage into your house, and if you sit outside, it's in the back yard.

Anyway, my theory aside, visiting with neighbors is still a part of our ideal based on what our parents and grandparents did. But... In the culture today, it's not as common, but is generally considered a positive experience. So don't be afraid to be the initiator. It won't be considered rude, and your neighbors are not intentionally snubbing you. Have the party, or if you're not up for that, just start taking walks in the evenings and introduce yourself to anyone you see.

[SuzySunshine]

I blame the extinction of the front porch.

I think this is very true. We don't have a front porch and spend almost all of our outside time in the back of our house. We have met the neighbors that live directly around us but usually only say hi in passing if we happen to be coming or going at the same time.

My IL's have a very active neighborhood but I think most of that is because most of the neighborhood is retired and because its a new development so all of the houses were built in the same time frame. They have a progressive dinner group and do other things at each other's houses quite a bit.

I agree with Lily's last statement - have the party if you want, you're new, you want to meet them and if they come great, if not - their loss.