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>1. The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had
>pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side
>to spit on.
>2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future
>lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
>3. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and
>then he lies on the other.
>4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are
>true stories.
>5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How
>many can you afford?
>6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the
>ladder company.
>7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you
>could save only one of them. Would you go to lunch or read the paper?
>8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
>9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
>10.What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
>11.What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
>12.What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
>13.What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
>14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There
>are some things a pig won't do.
>15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The
>lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
>16. What's another difference between a lawyer and a
>vulture? Removable wing tips.
>17.Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New
>Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice.
>18.What do you get if you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked
>politician? Chelsea Clinton
>pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side
>to spit on.
>2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future
>lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
>3. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and
>then he lies on the other.
>4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are
>true stories.
>5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How
>many can you afford?
>6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the
>ladder company.
>7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you
>could save only one of them. Would you go to lunch or read the paper?
>8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
>9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
>10.What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
>11.What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
>12.What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
>13.What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
>14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There
>are some things a pig won't do.
>15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The
>lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
>16. What's another difference between a lawyer and a
>vulture? Removable wing tips.
>17.Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New
>Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice.
>18.What do you get if you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked
>politician? Chelsea Clinton
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