New to Site

Hi All,

I am so happy to have found this site. I am engaged to a MS2 who is currently in the last few intense weeks of studying for his Step 1's. We have been together for 7 years and will be married this November. I moved to Philadelphia in July after two years of doing the long distance thing. I am so happy that we are finally in the same place but I am starting to feel the pressures of being in love with a future Dr. You all know the story I am sure. Never being home, when he is home he is exhausted or worried about the next exam, his boards, where is 3rd Year rotations will be etc.

I know it is only going to get more intense...so I am especially happy to have found this group now. The move to Philadelphia has been especially difficult because we have no family near by at all. I am from the Caribbean originally and my family is there, and his family is in FL. We have friends from college scattered up and down the East Coast, but I am starting to realize that I am in a very different place than a lot of my girl friends, most of whom can not imagine getting married at 25. I work really long hours and have yet to make many friends out side of his med school class.

Some days are good, some days are a lot harder. We have been pretty good at not taking our relationship for granted. Being apart for 2 years helps that. We rented a 2 bedroom apt so that he could have a study place to be at home more, I cook a lot and trys to be home for dinner most nights even if it means bringing the study group home with him. But the reality of his situation is that he must spend most of his time reading, studying or at school or the hospital, leaving me to my own devices much of the time. I am by nature not a very jealous person, I feel like it is a waste of time and energy, but lately I have found myself jealous about so many things; the girls in his study group, the time he spends at the library etc, having a group of people that are all going through the same ups and downs.. I hate that I feel this way, I know that there isn't any merit to it, but I can't help it.

I skimmed the boards a little before posting and the idea of the non-medical partner in the relationship being threatened by the intellectual/professional development the other partner is going through hit home. I am not so much threatened by it, but I do find myself questioning my intelligence from time to time. Even though I have always excelled academically, I wish that I could find something that I was so sure about that I would be willing to dedicate so much time and energy to perfecting the art of it.

Anyways I am not sure what I am hoping to find here, support I guess. A group of people that I can vent to and hopefully they will understand. It is only in the last couple of weeks that I have realized that there are things about our realtionship that I can't really explain to any one else that doens't have a significant other pursuing a career in medicine. Most of my friends just see him being in Med school as a ticket to wealth and security.

I am so proud and in love with my boyfriend and I know that we will make it through all of this together, and knowing that this fourm is here will definetly help.

Thanks

SMP

[Momo]

Welcome...you found the best place for support IMHO! Post away!

[Meenah]

Welcome. Philadelphia is a wonderful city and if you want to go to school you have so many colleges to choose from. I am in NJ (45 minutes from Philadelphia). Give yourself time to adjust and definitely stick around these boards, it will save you!!!!

Welcome,
I too met my future husband(we were both on the same tour abroad) when he was starting residency and left my family and friends(in the South) and moved up to the Midwest. Total culture shock. I wrecked my car the first time driving in the snow here! It was hard because we didn't know anybody. We survived and you will too. I do know some programs have groups so you can meet others in your situation(med student and resients) Also, the local medical alliance might be a good way to meet other people who have spouses/SO in the same situation.
As for the intelligence aspect, DH might outsmart me in the medicine department, but I excel in other things,like balancing the checkbook,knowing what the start times of our kids school,etc.

Sonya

[SuzySunshine]

Welcome, I've been with my DH since undergrad - its a long road but you can make it. Good luck with your upcoming nuptials, we look forward to getting to know you.

[MissCrabette]

Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

[MrsC]

Welcome,

Glad to hear you're in Philly too ! We moved here almost two years ago (I moved from Ireland) so I feel your pain. All that change is hard to take in. It's only now that I'm settled in and a lot happier here. I still don't know many people in the area but I'm getting there. I think it just takes time and half the battle is accepting your new circumstances and just making the best of it.

Anyway, post often. This site is great.

[DCJenn]

Welcome-

we have another person heading up to Philly this summer- Ravenclaw.

This is the only way that I managed to survive internship, residency, fellowship and now deployment.

Post often.

Jenn

[Meenah]

I'm feeling a Philly Get Together this summer!!!!!!

[Lo]

welcome!!

Thanks for the welcoming words. Being able to post on here when I am frustrated or elated or have questions will be a god send I am sure. I would be up for any form of Phily get togther... epecially in June when DH-to-be will be away for 6 weeks for his OB-GYN rotation.