New - Husband to an M3

[reciprocity]

Man, that is rough

I know we can all relate to the types of troubles you're going through, but as an early-30s guy in Chicago married to a med student taking a circuitous route (currently in her PhD, so M3 is a couple years off still), your story is particularly evocative. If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask. Sounds like you have a good network of friends here in town, that's very fortunate.

Best of luck.

So as an update, after I moved out she backed away from divorce. However, she did say she wanted me to stay away for the duration of her 8 week surgery rotation (which ends in 8 days). During our separation, I have seen her a few times, mostly if I had business in the city or an early flight the next day. We have normal conversations every 3-4 days, as long as nothing substantial is brought up.
During our discussion about separating, she said she didn't want to think about anything else besides school, our relationship was too much for her to handle. As a result, we spent Thanksgiving apart for the first time in 8 years and have not discussed any Christmas or New Years plans. I'm planning on moving home next Friday and we'll see what happens. I'm not very optimistic, based on her ambivalence towards me lately. But I'm hanging onto the thought that the ambivalence is stress related.

[Flynn]

Damn, Hunter. That blows.

Honestly these were my exact thoughts.

I am SO sorry you are going through this Hunter. With that being said if she can't maintain relationships during med school, she's going to be MORE of a nightmare during residency. Residency is lousy.

[Thirteen]

This whole situation sounds terribly upsetting. As always, only the two of you can really know your relationship and what's best/works for you.
Whatever the outcome, you are welcome here, and I hope you continue to post (hopefully under much less-stressful conditions).
Thank you for sharing, Hunter!

Hi we are new together. I hope we both get good stuff out of the site

[DCJenn]

Hunter-

I'm sorry- that just blows.

J.

With that being said if she can't maintain relationships during med school, she's going to be MORE of a nightmare during residency. Residency is lousy.

This. And I'm sorry that life is such a cold bowl of suck right now. Ugh. Hang in there.

[Meenah]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that after the surgery rotation you can at least talk and get some counseling. I have to ask (feel free to ignore the question) are you supporting her financially through all of this? If so, in addition to a counselor, I would suggest speaking with a lawyer. What a major suckfest.

[MDPhDWife]

I'm sorry, it sounds like she's in a selfish place right now. Feel free to keep coming here for support.

[diggitydot]

Wish I had something profound to add. Tis full of the suck. Hang in there and plan for the worst while hoping/working towards the best.

[Phoebe]

I am so sorry Hunter! Take things slow!