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Didn't know this even existed, but I'm excited to be part of a community (even if it's just online) that REALLY understands what it's like to be the spouse of a resident!
My husband is a PGY2 in neurosurgery residency (6-year program), and I'm a full-time management consultant with a local consulting firm. I recently switched jobs - I previously travelled for work, 4 days/week, but that was too much stress for myself and our marriage. I'm now working full-time in the city while my husband continues his training.
Hubby and I have been happily married for 4.5 years and have no kids yet, but plan to start trying this June (3 months from now). Would wait a little longer until hubby has a protected research year but we'd like to have 2 kids by the time I reach 35 (in 4 years).
The most challenging parts of being a neurosurgery resident wife in my opinion include:
* dealing with other people who don't understand what we go through each day with regards to my husband's schedule (the constant questioning about his daily/call schedule, whether or not we spend time together, constant questioning of why doesn't he answer his cell phone/personal email, etc)
* since hubby has no time to do anything, I end up with 100% of the household responsibilities (his program has a requirement to publish 3 peer-reviewed journal articles per year in addition to 'normal' resident duties) - I know he'd be just as committed to me if the tables were turned but as we're nearing the end of 2nd year, it's becoming hard to not be bitter sometimes
* the frustration I feel when other people comment that my husband is my 'meal ticket'. Being a stay-at-home anything (while great for others, if you choose that lifestyle) is not my thing, and I did not marry my husband because he's going to be a neurosurgeon nor for the idea of being 'set for life'.
* my concerns over how parenting will work. I'm expecting to have to operate as a single parent which will have added difficulty because we're cross-country from any close family and cannot afford to have me be a stay at home mom on his salary alone
Apologies if this sounds like a bit of a rant.
Have any of you experienced these issues and if so, how have you dealt with them?
Looking forward to interacting with you all!
My husband is a PGY2 in neurosurgery residency (6-year program), and I'm a full-time management consultant with a local consulting firm. I recently switched jobs - I previously travelled for work, 4 days/week, but that was too much stress for myself and our marriage. I'm now working full-time in the city while my husband continues his training.
Hubby and I have been happily married for 4.5 years and have no kids yet, but plan to start trying this June (3 months from now). Would wait a little longer until hubby has a protected research year but we'd like to have 2 kids by the time I reach 35 (in 4 years).
The most challenging parts of being a neurosurgery resident wife in my opinion include:
* dealing with other people who don't understand what we go through each day with regards to my husband's schedule (the constant questioning about his daily/call schedule, whether or not we spend time together, constant questioning of why doesn't he answer his cell phone/personal email, etc)
* since hubby has no time to do anything, I end up with 100% of the household responsibilities (his program has a requirement to publish 3 peer-reviewed journal articles per year in addition to 'normal' resident duties) - I know he'd be just as committed to me if the tables were turned but as we're nearing the end of 2nd year, it's becoming hard to not be bitter sometimes
* the frustration I feel when other people comment that my husband is my 'meal ticket'. Being a stay-at-home anything (while great for others, if you choose that lifestyle) is not my thing, and I did not marry my husband because he's going to be a neurosurgeon nor for the idea of being 'set for life'.
* my concerns over how parenting will work. I'm expecting to have to operate as a single parent which will have added difficulty because we're cross-country from any close family and cannot afford to have me be a stay at home mom on his salary alone
Apologies if this sounds like a bit of a rant.
Have any of you experienced these issues and if so, how have you dealt with them?
Looking forward to interacting with you all!
I'm glad you found us! You'll fit in perfectly 
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