Hello! New here, new city, new everything...

[AmeliePoulain]

Hello I am the wife of a pgy1. We moved at the end of June to start residency. I have never lived away from my family and it is so lonely. I miss everything, even the grocery stores are miserable here, they don't even have my favorite ice cream . We live in an area that seems to be a cluster of nice quiet suburbs... I miss the big city. Is the 1st year the worst or will it get even worse? My husband gets so stressed out and I'm going crazy thinking of things I can do to help. I am considering counseling of some sort. Any advice?

[Cinderella]

Hang out here and post often. It's a great resource for support!

[madeintaiwan]

Welcome. Suckiness depends on the specialty. We moved far from family and I totally get it when you described the unfamiliarity of the stores. What kind of ice cream are you missing? We have members from TX and those who are in MI. I know quite a few couples who have done therapy as well as individual therapy.

[AmeliePoulain]

Thanks my husband is also and fmg btw.

[Cinderella]

Oh yay! What's the details, country, medical school, specialty?

[MrsK]

: I remember being so intimidated by a new grocery store. About a week after moving from Miami to Cleveland, I broke down in tears and phoned my mom from the frozen foods asile. You're normal. We get it.

[SuzySunshine]

Welcome, for getting settled yes I think the first year is the worst. But for hours, etc. whether the first year is the worst depends on a lot of things.

[AmeliePoulain]

He is in Internal Medicine. I miss Blue Bell ice cream. I haven't had a chance to look around the forum too much but it is nice to know others are sharing in your misery, jk. Everyone I met from here before moving asked why would anyone want to move here, I noticed most people were moving away because the economy is so bad. The hospital actually had an event focused on resident wellness, and it was pretty scary lol. They talked about things residents suffer, but they also had resources for assistance. The one that worried me was about marital problems, but thank God that has not been an issue. He is mostly just so stressed. I just want him to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted. Thanks for the welcome.

[Pollyanna]

Welcome!! Post often, we get it.

[MissCrabette]

Welcome! My DH is also in Internal Medicine, and he's an IMG as well. I'm not speaking from experience, but I think the hours will get worse during PGY-2 and PGY-3. The upside is that they will likely be more used to the job, so it won't feel quite so overwhelming anymore. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

[Thirteen]

PGY-1 seems sucky for all, regardless of specialty (although some are far far worse than others). You go from "knowing a lot" (MS-4) to "knowing nothing..." And, add to that rounding with malignant attendings, being told to get faster at ddx, recalling everything you've ever learned at the drop of a hat, and being in a new place -- it gets ugly and hopeless feeling really fast.
You will probably see your spouse function at stress levels you've never seen before. Don't be intimidated or afraid of the resident wellness seminar - remember, you know your spouse the best, and if you notice something that is persistently interfering with his quality of life (other than medicine, HAHAHA!) take steps.
I cried when I realized that there wasn't a Sonic Drive In for miles. I called my mom, sobbing - "All the have is Jack in the Box! I just want a Cherry Limeade! Waaaaaaaaah!"
You are normal, like MrsK said. Your new job is to find something for YOU, and get involved. Whatever that might look like, I highly encourage you to find likeminded people, or your favorite hobby, and go go go. If you wait for your spouse, you'll be super lonely.
Also, we're in TX now, and if there's anything non-perishable that I can send your way, I'd be delighted to. Post often, and get to know us!

[diggitydot]

I'm not far from MI, welcome to insane winters.

[ladymoreta]

Welcome! That first year transition is hard. And I can't imagine a place without Blue Bell and Braums... *hugs*

[GrayMatterWife]

Everything outside Texas sucks compared to everything inside Texas. Sorry--I wish I had a more uplifting analysis, now that we've been gone 6-1/2 years. But I don't. St. Louis has been very good to us and we have made a nice life here, but it is not Texas. The best advice I have is to find great things about your new location that you just can't get in Texas (a real autumn, for example, perhaps?). That way, you're not comparing apples-to-apples, but are enjoying oranges when you can't have apples. Oh, and don't eat Tex-Mex anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon. It's just wrong, for many reasons.

WELCOME to the site!!

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Stick around and post often -- sometimes it helps just knowing people are going through the same thing, so don't be shy! You'll be surprised by the similarities...