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Hi, I've just discovered/joined this forum!
My partner is a primary care physician, in her first year of practice. We've been in a relationship for almost two years, and have been living together for about eight months. We're very happily in love and talk about getting married "someday," but are not officially engaged...
Practicing medicine is something my partner loves, but at the same time, the reality of just how much time and energy it takes is incredibly overwhelming to her (and to a lesser extent, me). She works her butt off and yet is never caught up on the insane amount of paperwork, notes, tasks, calls, etc. I frequently find myself angry with the system she's working in - it seems like it is set up in a way that makes it literally impossible for doctors to fulfill all that is expected of them. At first we thought it was this difficult because she's new, and after a few months, it would be better. Now I'm realizing - from the stories she tells me - that no, this is just the way it goes. Other doctors she works with, who have been there for decades, say they feel overwhelmed most days, have to take "vacation days" to spend 12-15 hours catching up on the paperwork, etc. I try very hard to be supportive of my partner, but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place - she tends to blame herself for continuously being behind on all the notes/tasks/inbox/phone calls/etc., and it breaks my heart that she's feeling these personal "failures" when the system is set up so you can't win. I keep telling her, it's the system, not you, it's the system, not you... but that's really not helpful, either, because neither of us is in any position to change the system, so fighting it feels futile.
I'm hoping this forum can be a place where I can get support, and figure out how to support my partner meaningfully and appropriately. However, my partner and I are both women (and we don't have kids). Are there any other lesbian couples here? I'm really in need of a forum that is not only welcoming of lesbians, but includes other lesbians. While there are certainly things I have in common with women whose doctor spouses are male, there are also many issues that are different.
My partner is a primary care physician, in her first year of practice. We've been in a relationship for almost two years, and have been living together for about eight months. We're very happily in love and talk about getting married "someday," but are not officially engaged...
Practicing medicine is something my partner loves, but at the same time, the reality of just how much time and energy it takes is incredibly overwhelming to her (and to a lesser extent, me). She works her butt off and yet is never caught up on the insane amount of paperwork, notes, tasks, calls, etc. I frequently find myself angry with the system she's working in - it seems like it is set up in a way that makes it literally impossible for doctors to fulfill all that is expected of them. At first we thought it was this difficult because she's new, and after a few months, it would be better. Now I'm realizing - from the stories she tells me - that no, this is just the way it goes. Other doctors she works with, who have been there for decades, say they feel overwhelmed most days, have to take "vacation days" to spend 12-15 hours catching up on the paperwork, etc. I try very hard to be supportive of my partner, but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place - she tends to blame herself for continuously being behind on all the notes/tasks/inbox/phone calls/etc., and it breaks my heart that she's feeling these personal "failures" when the system is set up so you can't win. I keep telling her, it's the system, not you, it's the system, not you... but that's really not helpful, either, because neither of us is in any position to change the system, so fighting it feels futile.
I'm hoping this forum can be a place where I can get support, and figure out how to support my partner meaningfully and appropriately. However, my partner and I are both women (and we don't have kids). Are there any other lesbian couples here? I'm really in need of a forum that is not only welcoming of lesbians, but includes other lesbians. While there are certainly things I have in common with women whose doctor spouses are male, there are also many issues that are different.
I'm so glad you found us. Post often so that we can get to know you better!
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