Introduction/Desperate Cry for Information

Hi Everyone,

Long-time lurker. First time registering/posting.

My wife is a 2nd year OB/GYN.

I find myself increasingly bitter at medicine and am not really enjoying life in general. I used to have a great career at a very prominent company in Seattle that was difficult to get into, and now we live in an area that is economically limited. I managed to find a job, but it mostly robs me of joy. There are no other alternatives in this area. It's incredibly expensive where we live and we've started paying back those enormous med school loans already through IBR. Gotta keep working. I find myself counting the months until we can leave this place...

I am incredibly concerned about the prospects of my wife finding an attending OB/GYN gig back home in the Seattle area. I'm sick of living away from home already. My dad used to move my family around a lot when I was younger, so I am pre-programmed to be stressed out by the whole experience. I miss hanging out with my friends. I worry I'll EXPLODE if I find out I can't move back to Seattle after these 4 years away. How hard is it to find a job post-residency? I feel like the lack of control over our destiny is never ending. The first year of residency was really hard on my wife and I - you know the arguments, "Just get your suitcase and move back then." Now, I also increasingly notice greedy thoughts crossing my mind, "I've sank so much time, money, and effort into this medical thing that I expect a lavish life when this is over." I definitely think residency is making me a worse person; more apathetic, greedier, and irritable.

Please tell me post-residency life is worth the wait...

[diggitydot]

Welcome to the shitfest. We get it, promise.

I'm certainly not one to blow sunshine up anyone's ass, but post-training doesn't suck for us. That isn't always the case, though. For some people it still sucks, just in a different way.

[Momo]

Yeah...we get it. What you are experiencing is sadly very normal. Thank goodness you found us, because this board can be a sanity saver...especially for the training years!

[SoonerTexan]

Aww welcome!

[bobk]

My wife is in Ob/gyn residency as well. I know how tough it is. Despite all the difficulty of this lifestyle, I remain optimistic about the future. I don't expect her to ever have a typical 9-5 type job, but the situation will get better.

I don't know about Seattle in particular, but Ob/gyn jobs can be had just about anywhere in the country. You can expect lower salaries in desirable locations, however you'll still live quite well. It also varies considerably depending on the practice.

[SuzySunshine]

Welcome!

[alison]

I don't know about your wife's specialty, but for anesthesia, Seattle was a tight market. And that was 2 years ago. I don't know how you feel about the Eastside and other suburbs, but if your heart is set on Seattle, and you're flexible, I'd cast a wide net (like Overlake, Evergreen, some of the Group Health sites outside of the city).

Seattle is wonderful. Traffic has gotten horrible, even within the past year, and as a sahm, I basically try to run all my errands between 10-2, because you hit traffic everywhere. Even on weekends, I5 is a mess going both northbound and south in and out of the city. Ugh.

[niener]

Welcome! All those feelings sound fairly normal, unfortunately. We're still in training and I have no knowledge of the Seattle market specifically so I can't speak to that, but in all likelihood her job will ultimately dictate where you go and many aspects of your lifestyle. But it's certainly not unreasonable to expect some return on your investment in her career because that's precisely what your sacrifices are, particularly when it comes to your own career.

Stick around - I think you'll find plenty of people to commiserate with here

[poky]

Welcome.

There are several of us here who are pining for the PNW; I grew up in Seattle and moved with my husband for med school from Portland to Cleveland 5.5 years ago, and we've got 2.5 more years of residency to go. We *hope* to get back to either Seattle or Portland then, but living here and surprising myself by mostly enjoying it has made me realize that I can make it almost anywhere.

I'm sorry your job sucks - stick around and as you get to know us maybe you'll be comfortable telling us where you are and what you do. We here do all sorts of stuff for a living; I'm sure someone will be able to commiserate with you!

[diggitydot]

Yup, loads of us in the PNW. We jonesed hardcore to return, too.

[ladymoreta]

Welcome! We just finished training, and while it's not bliss, it's definitely better. Hang in there, and post often. We get it, and this is a good place to commiserate.

[scrub-jay]

Welcome! You're in the right place, there are many who are, will be, or have been in your shoes.

[alison]

Sorry about that traffic rant embedded in my post.

Welcome!

[v-girl]

Welcome!

[peggyfromwastate]

I am pretty sure I've written that I find myself increasingly bitter at medicine and not enjoying life in general before...

We are still in training (will it ever end?!?!) and not in ob-- we are trying to get back to the PNW but we r military so it's a little different!!

I don't know what the malpractice scene is like in WA, so I'm sure that's a huge consideration.

And would your job be available still in Seattle? So many years out?

And then there's the cycle of wanting to go home, but when you get there you've found Medicine has changed you fundamentally, and your old friends just wont ever really understand that. Relationships change...

Honestly there should be a huge pot if gold at the end of every training rainbow, but I just dont see that enough to feel optimistic in general...

Anyway--- Welcome!! Post often!!