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dh married to a resident

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  • dh married to a resident

    hi,

    just want to introduce myself. i'm married to a doctor going through the trials of residency. marriage, medschool was easy--at least for me. i worked, she study. it worked very well for me. med school+ baby, was harder since i had to do lots of baby duties. residency + baby #2, that's hard. residency + mtg + 1 uncooperative baby, OMG. baby #2 didn't sleep through the night until almost 2yr old. i stormed out the house a few times with the babies in tow. came bank home after not being able to with stand the babies crying. now i know why they say marrying to a doc is hard. i don't know how any does it. i'm not the type to like to outsource work. i don't like strangers to pickup my kids nor strangers to clean the house. so yeah, marriage has been tough on the soul.

  • #2
    Welcome! I can relate. At least it's easier with some company to commiserate with. We've got many spouses juggling jobs and kids while their partner goes through residency or fellowship. Hopefully, they can offer some support. I'm a "survivor" with teens now and a husband that's been done with training for 8 years - but I did my own walk out once or twice along the way!! We made it through. You will too.
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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    • #3
      Welcome!
      Kris

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      • #4
        Welcome! Our youngest was just turning one when DW started residency. That was one tough year! It never gets easy but does get better as the kids grow up a bit more. Residency does end eventually. We're five weeks away. Not that I'm counting or anything.

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        • #5
          Welcome! Residency brought me to my knees! I tried but could not handle a job and the kids on my own. We ended up quite poor during those training years!
          Veronica
          Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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          • #6
            Welcome!

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            • #7
              Good to see you here! You've found the right place, for sure. We get it.
              Sandy
              Wife of EM Attending, Web Programmer, mom to one older lady scaredy-cat and one sweet-but-dumb younger boy kitty

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              • #8
                PGY4 Nephrology Fellow

                Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.

                ~ Rumi

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                • #9
                  we're at the end of residency with kids that are almost 2 and almost 3.5. I hear you loud and clear.
                  Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                  • #10
                    Welcome! What residency is she in? What type of work do you do? You've found a place where people get it!
                    -L.Jane

                    Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                    Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                    Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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                    • #11
                      Welcome! Residency + kids is REALLY hard! Glad you found us.
                      Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by L.Jane View Post
                        Welcome! What residency is she in? What type of work do you do? You've found a place where people get it!
                        i'm an IT guy. I can't say what kind of residency she's in since medicine is a small world. not many residents have 2 kids--so it would be easy for one of co to find her. l'll just say i got 3 more years of suffering.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by metroguy View Post
                          i'm an IT guy. I can't say what kind of residency she's in since medicine is a small world. not many residents have 2 kids--so it would be easy for one of co to find her. l'll just say i got 3 more years of suffering.
                          We have several IT peeps here.

                          Medicine is a crazy small world. You'd be amazed at how many overlaps there can be from one place to another. Seems like everyone knows EVERYONE.

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                          • #14
                            i'm amaze by how far people travel after they graduate med school. in my wife's class of 100 people, i would say only about 20 people stay within the area. everyone else scatter like the wind. i know match process is weird, and more gear toward the hospitals than the students, but i was expecting something similar to my college experience. in my college graduating class(maybe ~2k people), i think 90% of the people went back to where they grew up.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by metroguy View Post
                              i'm an IT guy. I can't say what kind of residency she's in since medicine is a small world. not many residents have 2 kids--so it would be easy for one of co to find her. l'll just say i got 3 more years of suffering.
                              No worries. I totally understand. It is a crazy small world. Ugh 3 more years of suffering. We are finishing up our 5th with one more year to go. You will make it!
                              -L.Jane

                              Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                              Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                              Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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