HI! New here, hoping for lots of help, especially surgery spouses!

[Curegirl]

Welcome! Everyone's given really good advice. We're not in surgery but the common theme seems to be nothing is certain. Keep expectations low, as in non-existent, and you won't be disappointed. Whenever we've planned anything, it's blown up in our faces and it's hard for me especially, because I'm an anal retentive planner. Like Deebs said, having a full time career will help in terms of time and when you do get those precious moments together, they'll be so much sweeter.

[Flynn]

Hi and welcome.

As much as you can try to take it one day at a time and don't get to far ahead of yourself.

Best wishes.

THIS!!!!!

The only thing you can count on in the future is the unpredictability. Embrace you have NO control and let the chips fall where they may.

[niener]

Welcome! You've already been given some great advice so I won't be too repetitive other than to say having your own "thing" (hobbies, job, volunteer work, etc) is vital. I too have kept the "expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised when it's not" mindset and it's worked for me. I'm married to a 3rd year surgery resident and we've had our share of challenges, bumps in the road, unusual situations to deal with but training certainly hasn't been the end of the world. We're happily married, I enjoy my day-to-day life and I'm looking forward to our future.

[peggyfromwastate]

Lest you think we are all a bit negative---- I wanted to let you know that I came here about 13 years ago-- that's when I found this site. At that point my dh was still prepping for the MCATs, and we were debating going with a military career vs civilian. Hadn't even applied to med school, and he "knew" his career choice (I think it was family medicine or EM), and we "knew" we'd end up living close to our families and have one more child in the meantime. I had spreadsheets way into the future (Microsoft word 2000 I think-- cutting edge).

It's perfectly fine to plan and plan and plan IMHO. It's just for fun though-- bc in life a lot does change medicine or not.

I do think that most people (myself included) are a bit surprised by how little control you really have in medicine though.

It's good you are here to get support--- it's a long road indeed but not impossible.

[v-girl]

Welcome!

[metroguy]

welcome.. here's a bit of negative advice. get marry before residency. this way, when crap happens, it'll be harder to split. if it wasn't for marriage, (and kids), i don't think we would survive through med school and half way through residency in an easy specialty.

[MAPPLEBUM]

welcome.. here's a bit of negative advice. get marry before residency. this way, when crap happens, it'll be harder to split. if it wasn't for marriage, (and kids), i don't think we would survive through med school and half way through residency in an easy specialty.

ROFL so true


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[DrBandMe]

This thread has ended up being a good reminder for me as we inch ever closer to the Match. Me thinks I have been planning a bit too much. There are numerous other options besides home on that ROL.

My advice is to don't waste your breath with friends and family. Sometimes saying less is really for the best. Coming on almost a year of answering detailed questions about the match, I wish I never would have started explaining all the details to people so long ago. Sometimes it really is for the best to just say "ill know more on x date" than to give a dissertation every time someone asks you for the full story again.