New to iMS from PA

[scrub-jay]

Hi! Welcome! Anesthesia PGY3 (CA-2) spouse over here. The transition from intern year to CA-1 makes for big changes. My DH was happy to be doing anesthesia after intern year wrapped up. Good luck.

[MarissaNicole]

It can be very isolating during residency - my best advice would be to develop your hobbies now. Take time to spoil yourself and do things that perhaps he wouldn't do with you.

Wife of a PGY-6

[MrsC]

I agree with all above. Hobbies are a great way to meet new people.

I sent you a private message.

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[DrBandMe]

Welcome to the group! My husband is also a CA-1 so I am right where you are in terms of making it through training. I am also from PA though I am in Wisconsin now for residency. We interviewed at Hershey and it seemed like a great program! I used to live in the area for about a decade. I lived in York and downtown Harrisburg but often made trips to Hershey. If I can help you with things to do in the area...I'm glad to help!

Welcome again!

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[rufflesanddots]

Hi! MS2 spouse here. The moving and finding new friends can be really tough. Do you have any hobbies you like that can open you up to meeting people? Maybe a local running club? Runners are the best!

[EvieLee]

Hi spouse of MS3 here. Currently in Australia and trying to immigrate to US to be with DF so I shall have my fair share of finding new support networks. from what I have read yes it takes time and it's best to establish routines around your own interests. I got tired of waiting for DF to have time to do things 😉. I read a really great article somewhere on the iMSN site about making new networks. 1 pointer was about being really predictable in your routines. Go running at the same time and place etc etc and after a while you will see the same people and you just end up saying hi.

I have been nervous about making the inter country move and making new friends. But I'm aiming on putting some things in place to help the transition. It still won't be a walk in the park though and no doubt I'm currently naive about it 😊

When I was there last thankfully DF still loved cooking and sharing a good solid house cleaning session among other chores even if he isn't around much. Poor petal can't handle dishwater and handling the trash though they will always be my jobs 😝😜


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[sw078]

Yes! I love running. I usually prefer to run alone, because my pace varies, and I use it as time to think and reflect on things. One thing I want to look into more is this website called meetup.com. If you havent used it, it's pretty cool. It's free to sign up, and lists all kinds of different groups/meetups based on interest and hobbies in your local area. It's tough sometimes to make the meeting times, because if it overlaps with time that we both have to spend together, I usually always choose to spend time with him!

[sw078]

Haha, maybe for our next date night, I'll propose a "house cleaning party!"

[EvieLee]

Oh meetup sounds interesting. I shall having to check it out.

I know what you mean about prioritizing time with dearly beloved. I'm a bit of a sucker for this too

So far my 'friend making' list includes CrossFit, church, the stables and VA volunteering with the OTs 😊

Oh the journeys and adventures ahead of us


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[EvieLee]

[MENTION=5078]gcuthbe1[/MENTION] that reminds me of us. We'd do a biggish clean together about once a fortnight for a couple hours. I do the maintenance stuff. We do make it fun with playing our favourite music though...hey who said you can't groove and belt out a tune while cleaning hehe 😝


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[Lynnea]

[QUOTE=sw078;774959]Hi all,

My boyfriend and I live in the Hershey, PA area. He's a PGY2 in anesthesia. We just moved in together, and I'm looking for some friends and/or support in dealing with some things. Any advice would also be appreciated. Thanks so much in advance!

Sarah[/QUOTE

Hi, Sarah- my BF is MS1 interested in going into Anesthesiology. A lot of people say it's one of the better residencies for a good lifestyle, but I've been asking around to see what the reality of it all is. I've been a nervous wreck over this whole thing, and struggling with the transition. We have been together for over a year, living together for the better part of that time with his roommate. We officially moved in together in Maine (just him and I) over a month ago so that he could attend school. So far that has been great and when he is home it has been good. I just have a hard time with thinking about the unknown and if I'm capable of handling all of this. With your boyfriend in Anesthesia now, can you tell me anything about it from your own experience? I know it's different with every program but I'd love to hear about different experiences you've had and any advice you could share.
Thanks for listening
Lynnea

[Lynnea]

[QUOTE=gcuthbe1;776184]

Hi lynnea!
My hubby is in surgical residency, and it seems like a lot of anesthesia-bound residents do a first year in general surgery residency (not sure if it's a requirement or what). So if he does that, just prepare yourself that year will be insane. Surgical residencies are just known for being crazy, but that first year was extra bad. Not to scare you, but for me I just prefer to be fully prepared for what I should realistically expect. Hopefully the anesthesia specific years will be good!
-Grace

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Hi, Grace
Any and all information is greatly appreciated, good and not so good. I feel like I'm so out of the loop with all there is to know about med school and residency, etc. It's overwhelming to say the least. What has been your experience with Surgical residency? I know from reading a few threads on this site a lot of the posts about surgical residencies are a little scary and worrisome to read about. Have you and your spouse been able to still find time for each other in the midst of it all? When did you guys get married?

[Lynnea]

[QUOTE=gcuthbe1;776188]

Hi lynnea! Right there with you, i was clueless when we first started dating, and still feel clueless from time to time lol. I just joined this group like a week ago bc I was (am) feeling so overwhelmed by his crazy schedule. I attend friend events, family get togethers, weddings, and go on vacations alone/with a substitute for my significant other. Of course when you love someone you want to share a lot of activities and events together, but with surgical residency it just isn't possible. I've had to revise my expectations a lot ongoing.
We met in his last year of medical school when we was doing rotations and studying for his step 2. He had a lot of time to date with for our first few months of getting to know each other, and I still yearn for those days. We knew we wanted to get married, and wanted to make sure we could time it to compliment his schedule, so we got married during his 3rd year (surgical residency is 5 years). We just celebrated our 6 months! I'm your age (I think you said 27 somewhere) so we're hoping to have babies when he is in fellowship starting July 2017. I've read other posts in here and have been amazed and in awe of the spouses who have had families since medical school. For me I already feel overwhelmed just making the most of our alone time together and my only competition is his work! Somethings that really have helped me - while he was studying for exams I was studying for my CPA, so we could study buddy. I've also always been independent but I've has to embrace that independent spirit even more since I can't default to spending time with my hubby.

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Hi, Grace-
Thank you for that! You sound like a wonderful friend to have on here! Yes I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are wanting to get married at some point and discuss starting a family. I'll tell you this has been a hard transition to do without any commitment (engagement). I crave that sort of commitment from him while we start this journey together! My fingers are crossed, I know we are meant to be together and we have had many conversations where we are both in tears because I'm scared I'm going to lose him to school. I'm hoping being here will help me become stronger through this process so that I can make it through and still feel like our relationship is important. It is inspiring to read everyone's story, sometimes it amazes me how some of you ladies have managed to hold it together and push through. Right now I'm jealous of that, I wish I could feel like I could do it too! But I know I'm in the right place and I'd love to chat more sometime!

[Lynnea]

[QUOTE=gcuthbe1;776208]

Girl we are in the same page. I told my now hubby what I needed in terms if timeline and lucky me he obliged, and I'm so happy with our timing choices so far. The thing about it is, all relationships are about growing and changing together, and supporting one another. Different career aspirations can make that more or less difficult, but there's always going to be challenges. Like right now I'm sitting at home knowing my hubby is working overnight and I miss him terribly. But it makes us both appreciate our time together so much more. And we know this is temporary, and we've discussed our plans to do everything we can to ensure he won't end up working like this when we do have a family. And like you, I'm comforted to hear these other ladies stories that they've survived, and made it through tougher situations than us, and they're still looking forward to the future! It seems like being a medical spouse requires a whole different outlook, but that once you've adequately revised your expectations you will find happiness, and eventually your spouse will have work/life balance!

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I'm so happy to hear that you guys have have had a successful time so far! I hope my BF understands that I'm not trying to rush him into marriage, but that I really want that commitment before I commit my life to this journey, and a long one at that. There really seems to be a lot of sacrifices from the non-medical spouse side. He seems to understand though and hopefully things will start progressing in the near future. I can only hope. I definitely understand cherishing the time you do have together. It's amazing how much time spent away from one another makes us appreciate each other more. I guess that is something that not all couples get to feel and something I won't ever take for granted. It's just an overwhelming road ahead and I sometimes find myself having trouble focusing on the now and trying not to worry about the future. I also find myself having the crazy thoughts of what if he finds some more beautiful and smart medical student to be with but I know he loves me and would never do that. It's just my crazy brain getting out of control which of course adds to the stress!

[GingerGirl]

Hey Sarah, I'm also in PA. My DH is finishing up his last year of residency now, and on to fellowship (does it ever end?!) Anyways, hope you are doing ok! I don't live near Hershey but I do end up there sometimes for work. It's a nice area