Finding this website today was a godsend! I was beginning to feel incredibly alone but see after reading several postings that I'm not alone.
My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years began his residency at Ohio State this summer. He's going into neuro but has to spend his internship year in int med. I don't think either one of us was entirely prepared for how difficult this first year would prove to be. He wakes up several times a night giving me patient orders or jumps up as though he was in a call room and just got paged. He thinks he's leaving the stress at the hospital doors, but it's increasingly evident that he's internalizing it far more than he's willing to admit. After 80-100 hours a week, it's no wonder he doesn't want to talk about it, but it's beginning to take a toll on him and on us.
We went from buying a house together (I'm not living there until we're married) and him reserving a wedding date at our church in anticipation of an engagement, to him telling me 2 weeks ago that he's feeling overwhelmed and needs a break from us to decide if we're meant to be. I realize you all don't know us, but there's never been a question from day one that we were meant to be together. Until this summer, we've always been "home" for one another -- you know what I mean? I feel like his needs have changed since July 1, but I don't know how to meet those needs when he is pushing me away.
He started a cardio rotation today and will be on call q4. How do we get through these issues with so little time? I wonder if I SHOULD give him that space and let him see that we need one another to get through these stressful times. It's just so hard to think of letting him go to see if he comes back, especially knowing how stressed out he is. I want to help not leave.
Has anyone experienced these problems? I am so sorry to join, say hi, and unload! These last two weeks have just been horrible -- I told you I needed this group!
I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone!!
Stephanie
My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years began his residency at Ohio State this summer. He's going into neuro but has to spend his internship year in int med. I don't think either one of us was entirely prepared for how difficult this first year would prove to be. He wakes up several times a night giving me patient orders or jumps up as though he was in a call room and just got paged. He thinks he's leaving the stress at the hospital doors, but it's increasingly evident that he's internalizing it far more than he's willing to admit. After 80-100 hours a week, it's no wonder he doesn't want to talk about it, but it's beginning to take a toll on him and on us.
We went from buying a house together (I'm not living there until we're married) and him reserving a wedding date at our church in anticipation of an engagement, to him telling me 2 weeks ago that he's feeling overwhelmed and needs a break from us to decide if we're meant to be. I realize you all don't know us, but there's never been a question from day one that we were meant to be together. Until this summer, we've always been "home" for one another -- you know what I mean? I feel like his needs have changed since July 1, but I don't know how to meet those needs when he is pushing me away.
He started a cardio rotation today and will be on call q4. How do we get through these issues with so little time? I wonder if I SHOULD give him that space and let him see that we need one another to get through these stressful times. It's just so hard to think of letting him go to see if he comes back, especially knowing how stressed out he is. I want to help not leave.
Has anyone experienced these problems? I am so sorry to join, say hi, and unload! These last two weeks have just been horrible -- I told you I needed this group!
I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone!!
Stephanie
Comment