Available at 
Tweet
Hi everyone - My name is Jenn. I have been lurking on and off since last Feb, but I felt I needed to join now. My fiance is starting his 2nd year of med school in Grenada, West Indies in January (he comes home for 3 weeks next Saturday). I live in NC - yes, we are doing this 1,000 miles away from each other while I finish grad school AND plan our wedding - which is July 29 
Then I will STILL be alone for 6 months before we move to wherever his clinical rotations are in the states. Thankfully, as a nurse, I can move in a heartbeat so I feel lucky to have that advantage, at least.
Ok well, I wouldn't be posting if I didn't have the need to vent and de-stress. I've got great friends and family - but they just don't understand sometimes. Even me! A nurse! I am in the hospital and I still feel slighted by this whole medical school process. So, it's happens to us even within the medical profession I suppose. And the one thing I am starting to despise is when someone says "why are you going to school still, he's going to be a doctor!"...or my favorite.."oh, a doctor, you'll be set for life."...Umm ya, if I get that far (really, I'm just feeling down right now...don't take that seriously, please)
Ok, so I am here...keeping the house, the dog, the bills, the loans, my grad school, a job, everyday mundane tasks, the vet, the birthday cards to his family, the wedding...you name it, I freaking do it for me, for him, for us. Just like most of you do. So, when FI tells me that "he's tired" and he doesn't want to answer a yes/no question about the wedding (which would be quicker than actually saying I'm tried)...and he needs to sleep because he's been studying"...well, I start to get a little upset. Reason? I am tired too! He asked me to marry him and I rarely even involve him in the process or whine about anything task wise that I do. I suck it up and I do things. But jeez, can't a girl get a little love while their SO is in medical school? I'm feeling emotionally disconnected lately...and especially during finals right now, we talk maybe 5 min per night. I would KILL to have him to hold every night, even for 5 hrs. I haven't seen him since August. Nights like tonight I wonder why I am holding on. My mom always says that right now is the lonliest i'll ever be because at least in a year he'll be in the same house, instead of in another country. She's got a point, but still.
It sometimes feels like I give and give and I don't see that letting up anytime soon (he wants to be a surgeon). I feel stupid for waiting through this process even though I practically wrote his application essays. We've been together for 4 years - I knew him when he was still an undergrad and "knew" what I was getting into - he's 26, I'm 27. We are the opitomy of success in our first generations family's eyes - we have a college education, a house almost paid off, no car payments, etc etc. But that sure as heck doesn't make you happy, ya know? I feel disconnected to the person I once knew and thought I made happy. He's changed - but I can't pinpoint it. I have been reading that this is a normal occurence, but it makes me sad, that I don't really know him anymore...and we're supposed to be married in 8 months...when he'd home, it's great...but it's hard to bear being away. Maybe it's better he's away so I don't get upset about being there in person and him needing to study and being tired in front of me....ponder that.
I just needed to vent to people that may understand...thanks. See you around (I promise my other posts won't be as long)
Then I will STILL be alone for 6 months before we move to wherever his clinical rotations are in the states. Thankfully, as a nurse, I can move in a heartbeat so I feel lucky to have that advantage, at least. Ok well, I wouldn't be posting if I didn't have the need to vent and de-stress. I've got great friends and family - but they just don't understand sometimes. Even me! A nurse! I am in the hospital and I still feel slighted by this whole medical school process. So, it's happens to us even within the medical profession I suppose. And the one thing I am starting to despise is when someone says "why are you going to school still, he's going to be a doctor!"...or my favorite.."oh, a doctor, you'll be set for life."...Umm ya, if I get that far (really, I'm just feeling down right now...don't take that seriously, please)
Ok, so I am here...keeping the house, the dog, the bills, the loans, my grad school, a job, everyday mundane tasks, the vet, the birthday cards to his family, the wedding...you name it, I freaking do it for me, for him, for us. Just like most of you do. So, when FI tells me that "he's tired" and he doesn't want to answer a yes/no question about the wedding (which would be quicker than actually saying I'm tried)...and he needs to sleep because he's been studying"...well, I start to get a little upset. Reason? I am tired too! He asked me to marry him and I rarely even involve him in the process or whine about anything task wise that I do. I suck it up and I do things. But jeez, can't a girl get a little love while their SO is in medical school? I'm feeling emotionally disconnected lately...and especially during finals right now, we talk maybe 5 min per night. I would KILL to have him to hold every night, even for 5 hrs. I haven't seen him since August. Nights like tonight I wonder why I am holding on. My mom always says that right now is the lonliest i'll ever be because at least in a year he'll be in the same house, instead of in another country. She's got a point, but still.
It sometimes feels like I give and give and I don't see that letting up anytime soon (he wants to be a surgeon). I feel stupid for waiting through this process even though I practically wrote his application essays. We've been together for 4 years - I knew him when he was still an undergrad and "knew" what I was getting into - he's 26, I'm 27. We are the opitomy of success in our first generations family's eyes - we have a college education, a house almost paid off, no car payments, etc etc. But that sure as heck doesn't make you happy, ya know? I feel disconnected to the person I once knew and thought I made happy. He's changed - but I can't pinpoint it. I have been reading that this is a normal occurence, but it makes me sad, that I don't really know him anymore...and we're supposed to be married in 8 months...when he'd home, it's great...but it's hard to bear being away. Maybe it's better he's away so I don't get upset about being there in person and him needing to study and being tired in front of me....ponder that.
I just needed to vent to people that may understand...thanks. See you around (I promise my other posts won't be as long)
Come in and vent anytime.
Comment