Dr. Laura

[Rapunzel]

I guess hate is the new word for common sense these days....

RE: The subject of interfaith marriages. Laura Schlessinger does, indeed, point out the problems of interfaith marriages in at least one of her books. And, the facts back her up. Now, maybe her statements on the subject are unpopular but popularity =/= truth.

Here is what I found:

Inter-faith marriage divorce data and opinions:
Vera Lawlor, from The Bergen Record in Hakensack, NJ., wrote that inter-faith marriages have a failure rate that is 50% higher than same-faith marriages. She does not cite a source for this datum. Since the rate for all marriages is on the order of 50%, this would imply an almost 75% failure rate for inter-faith marriages - 3 chances out of 4. 5

Emmanual Clapsis writes: "Controversy abounds on the topic of survival rates, but the best studies show a higher survival rate for single faith marriages than interfaith marriages" This may be due to differences in marital satisfaction. He states that several unidentified studies agree that religiously mixed marriages are less satisfying than single-faith marriages. 6 One was a nationwide survey conducted in the 1970's. One factor may be that when spouses follow separate religious traditions, an opportunity for companionship is reduced.

Esther Perel, an inter- faith marital therapist, referring to Jewish - Christian marriages wrote in New York Magazine: "The difference isn't just between Moses and Christ. You're dealing with issues of money, sex, education, child-rearing practices, food, family relationships, styles of emotional expressiveness, issues of autonomy -- all of these are culturally embedded." 7

A 1993 study published in Demography showed that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) were the least likely of all faith groups to divorce: After five years of marriage, only 13% of LDS couples had divorced. But when a Mormon marries a non-Mormon, the divorce rate was found to have increased more than three-fold to 40%. Similar data for Jews were 27% and 42%. 8

Egon Mayer, a professor at Brooklyn College, published another study confirming that inter-faith couples experience higher divorce rates. Referring to the case where one spouse abandons their religion and adopts their spouse's faith, he said in USA Today: "When you bury something that is really important to you, all you're doing is building up a kind of pressure within the family relationship, which becomes a source of tension, which ultimately becomes a time bomb. If there's any reason why intermarriages break up, it's because of that time bomb." 7

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ifm_divo.htm

Conclusions:
Most of the data seems to show that religious differences within inter-faith and intra-faith marriages is a major contributor to marriage breakdown. If nothing else, it at least should impress on a couple entering such a relationship that they need to pay close attention to resolving religious difference.

[Vishenka69]

People who are trully devoted to their faith don't inter-marry. Those who do, aren't that connected to their religions. Just because you are born into a certain religion, doesn't make you an automatic believer. Many of our friends are in inter-faith marriages, in which neither partner is religous and no services are attended. Different religious doesn't necessarily mean different culture, upbringing and values.

[Rapunzel]

I hardly think that saying homosexuals are "biological errors and deviant" is using common sense, but thanks for the eye roll of confidence.

Also I stopped reading when:

Vera Lawlor, from The Bergen Record in Hakensack, NJ., wrote that inter-faith marriages have a failure rate that is 50% higher than same-faith marriages. She does not cite a source for this datum.

Pollyana linked the full article - complete with the footnotes providing sources.

The link I provided also uses a number of various sources.

Here, I'll just quote the article without the one sentence that quotes someone without hard data (definitely click on the link so you can go to the footnotes at the bottom for the sources cited):

Emmanual Clapsis writes: "Controversy abounds on the topic of survival rates, but the best studies show a higher survival rate for single faith marriages than interfaith marriages" This may be due to differences in marital satisfaction. He states that several unidentified studies agree that religiously mixed marriages are less satisfying than single-faith marriages. 6 One was a nationwide survey conducted in the 1970's. One factor may be that when spouses follow separate religious traditions, an opportunity for companionship is reduced.

Esther Perel, an inter- faith marital therapist, referring to Jewish - Christian marriages wrote in New York Magazine: "The difference isn't just between Moses and Christ. You're dealing with issues of money, sex, education, child-rearing practices, food, family relationships, styles of emotional expressiveness, issues of autonomy -- all of these are culturally embedded." 7

A 1993 study published in Demography showed that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) were the least likely of all faith groups to divorce: After five years of marriage, only 13% of LDS couples had divorced. But when a Mormon marries a non-Mormon, the divorce rate was found to have increased more than three-fold to 40%. Similar data for Jews were 27% and 42%. 8

Egon Mayer, a professor at Brooklyn College, published another study confirming that inter-faith couples experience higher divorce rates. Referring to the case where one spouse abandons their religion and adopts their spouse's faith, he said in USA Today: "When you bury something that is really important to you, all you're doing is building up a kind of pressure within the family relationship, which becomes a source of tension, which ultimately becomes a time bomb. If there's any reason why intermarriages break up, it's because of that time bomb." 7

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ifm_divo.htm

[Rapunzel]

People who are trully devoted to their faith don't inter-marry. Those who do, aren't that connected to their religions. Just because you are born into a certain religion, doesn't make you an automatic believer. Many of our friends are in inter-faith marriages, in which neither partner is religous and no services are attended. Different religious doesn't necessarily mean different culture, upbringing and values.

The article to which I linked stated that the inter-religious couples who do survive do so when either 1)one or both spouses is NOT committed to their faith or 2)one spouse is noncommitted to their faith and allows the other spouse's faith to dominate.

See:

Stability in an intra-faith marriage will be improved if both spouses decide to become affiliated with a single denomination. Such marriages are more prone to fail if spouses continued to go to their original churches.
A couple who is not intensely committed to one denomination or another is liable to have fewer conflicts and thus a lower probability of divorce. They will easily compromise on a single denomination to attend. Those who are devoted to their original denominations will experience more marital conflicts and are thus more liable to divorce.

In other words their analysis of the presented research agrees with your asssessment, Vishenka.

[Rapunzel]

I hardly think that saying homosexuals are "biological errors and deviant" is using common sense, but thanks for the eye roll of confidence.

I agree that those particular words are without tact. Deviant implies that it goes against the grain of society's morals. I will agree that, at the moment, it is sex between a lovingly married husband and wife that is currently becoming deviant in our society. I suppose it depends on to which morals you are subscribing for use of the word "deviant". If you subscribe to the morals of our current pop-culture then, no, those engaging in same sex behavior are not currently "deviant" by that standard.

As far as biological errors? That is a point of disagreement I have with Laura Schlessinger as I do not believe that who (or what or how many people) you have sex with is biologically determined.

While I disagree with the second judgement AND the first (based on the current cultural climate) I find her marriage advice to be very much based on common sense- if you regard treating your spouse with love and respect, acting selflessly for your spouse, and respecting the differences between men and women as common sense.