Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

[DCJenn]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Well, then accept that your tax dollars are going to be spent a million times over to raise these kids.

Jenn

[MDPhDWife]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Well, then accept that your tax dollars are going to be spent a million times over to raise these kids.

Jenn

Good point Jenn.

[DrWahoo]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I kind of think and there should be a study, but most kids who are having sex in middle school especially at 11 are probably going to end up in the system somehow anyway. These kids who are sexually active are probably doing drugs and other unsavory things, also. So even if they do decide to have kids someday when they are older, they may not be in any emotional state to do so properly. Some people overlook the fact that sex is not just a physical act, it also an emotional one.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Well, then accept that your tax dollars are going to be spent a million times over to raise these kids.

Jenn

You know what? I do....If that's the price that I pay for keeping my individual freedoms as a parent, then so be it.

Anyone here interested in saying "mandatory birth control injections for meth users"...or would that be interfering with their right to do the nasty without consequence? How about....if your children are taken from you for any reason..mandatory birth control until you get your shit together.

Don't stomp on my freedoms to protect the child who *might* get pregnant as a middleschooler (for example). There are other solutions.

Kris

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I'm for mandatory birth control for almost everyone. You should have to have a license that's harder to get than one for driving a car to be a parent. I think I should be equipped with Depo Darts and use them at my will. I will also hand the darts out to people who go through my rigorous training program of how to tell who should be allowed to reproduce.

As for giving the pill to middle schoolers, fine, BUT I think that the pill should be used in CONJUNCTION with condoms. I mean what is wrong with a barrier and a pill? Condoms have a high failure rate and pills don't protect against STDs. My kids, hopefully, will come to me and talk with me, and I will talk to them and have. However, I am not comfortable with entrusting other parents to talk to their kids in appropriate ways.

Parents should have rights, but it is my opinion that a child's rights trumps a parents rights. I came from an abusive household, and I would have rather killed myself than talked to my parents about birth control. I was raped at 13 and didn't know the rules about seeing a doctor and confidentiality. What about those kids. They should be lost in the system because their fawked up parents can't get it together?

Yes, parents who ARE doing what they are supposed to be doing are being put in bad places, but far too many parents lack in this area, and I feel we need to protect and have an obligation to protect those kids when and where we can.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I have strong feelings about this because so much blame is placed on parents for so many things.
My experiences with the school systems (for example) have taught me that though many of the educator's hearts are in the right place, they aren't always very competent when in comes to issues with children. I'm not saying that there aren't great teachers/educators, because there are...but...

First it's birth control....hand it out to middle schoolers without parental consent and hope that the child doesn't get an STD or suffer emotional damage. After all, advocating abstinance for a child that age, mandating counseling as a part of it all would be outrageous and would cost more money, right? Lets just forget altogether that there is something TERRIBLY wrong when 11 year olds are having sex. We're talking about babies here...and we're condoning sexual acitvity by handing out b/c instead of getting to the root of the problem, which may be them experiencing child abuse themselves, seeking out affection through sex, etc. We are not talkin about 16 years olds getting access to b/c...it's 11 and 12 year olds.

What's next? The schools think your child should be medicated so....they can have the kid diagnosed and treated w/o parental consent because they are afraid that the parent won't take care of it?

Serious question here....if your child was put on ritalin for ADHD for example without you being informed, would you be upset? Now...if it doesn't bother you that they get b/c for having SEX, but you are outraged with the ritalin...where does that come from?

kris

ETA: Add to this the fact that if your child does have some sort of medical complication and you take them to the doctor, you won't even know what to tell the doc and your child might not be forthcoming with the information

AND

It teaches children that it is ok to have such big secrets from their parents....very...VERY slippery slope.

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Because I don't think that the availability of condoms/the pill encourages kids to have sex. I think it starts dialogue about if/when you do decide to have sex, you need to protect yourself.

I would not be comfortable if someone put my kid on ritalin without my consent, but I've seen some kids where I'd like to shove it down their throats.

I would also not be comfortable if someone put my daughter on the pill without my consent, but, if she needed it I prefer this to the alternative. Please, anything but letting my 12 year old be responsible for mistakes for the rest of her life.

ETA: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.h ... gewanted=1

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

My daughter is 11 1/2. All of those theoretical "what if's" fly out the window when it is your own child. I imagine that when your daughter is 11 you will see it a little differently.

Giving B/C to older children may not be so bad, Heidi, but giving 11 year old children who are unable to make good decisions for themselves is tantamount to giving them permission....At the very least, it is condoning the behavior instead of finding out if the child is being sexually abused, etc.

And while we're talking about child abuse.....I wonder if your 11 year old could come back to the school some day and say that the act of giving them birth control and not interfering/stopping/helping made the schools equally guilty in the abuse of said child?

kris

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I am truly shaking my head over this.

If we were talking about 16 year olds, OK...but 11 year old middle schoolers????????

What about the responsibility by adults to educate, support and protect the child...even from itself.

kris

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I highly doubt an 11-year old who's having sex is going to take the pill every day, which is what she'd need to do for it to be "effective".

My daughter is 11, and her hormones are too crazy as is. I don't want her taking birth control, and I don't want some "health professional" giving it to her at school. I wouldn't consent for her to be treated there, and if they forced the issue, I'd pull her out and put her in a private school or homeschool.

Legally, I had to leave the room at the 11 y.o. well child check up to give her a chance to talk privately to her doctor. So, if she is hell-bent on being promiscuous and the doctor (our family doc) gives her some meds, I really trust my own doctor a lot more to explain to her the implications and risks of sexual behavior, plus how to properly use the medication, than I would trust a doctor at a student health center.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I really trust my own doctor a lot more to explain to her the implications and risks of sexual behavior,

Your pedi could educate your child, ask the right questions, maybe try and help you get counseling for your child AND if there were any other health complications that were caused by taking the pill in a child that young could happen), your pedi would know about it and could act.

Still, I think that the most important thing an adult can do is to find out wheter the child has been (hence the early sexual behavior)or is being sexually abused (what about kids that end up pressured by adults to go to school and get on birth control because the abuser wants it?) , is being pressured into having sex by a peer or older boy, is suffering from depression and is seeking out affection in other ways.

Seriously....the reasons that 11 year olds have sex are different than the reasons that young adults/grown-ups have sex...and not interfering in that is really a form of abuse in my opinion.

kris

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Isn't there a "legal" age of consent? Does this birth control distribution contradict that?

This whole issue just scares me. I don't want a health center at a school (surely it will be overworked, understaffed) doing anything other than band-aids.

[alison]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I'm not going to voice an opinion here, but I'm curious what you think about inner city kids? For many girls in Chicago, pregnancy is not a matter of IF, but WHEN.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Quote from DH: "When I diagnose a child (11, 12, 13, 14) with an std or pregnancy I always contact the parents AND social services...it could be one of the parents giving the child the std or the child needs support/help it is not getting from the family. But the parent has the right to know until the child is 18".

Please, people, don't send you 11 year old with the STD to Thomas...He will tell you AND he will call CPS, and alert hospital social workers too. Your family might be forced to get help.

And...my dh is one of the most liberal people that I know...just not about stuff like this AND he has had to take this action on several occasions.
BTW, he said he has never had a situation where the child was injured or abused by the parents in this case (and he worked some pretty wacky stuff in Florida), but he has had 2 children removed from the care of their parents (a child with an std caused by a family member and not pg) and another child placed in a special halfway house for pregnant teens needing help.

kris

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Okay, maybe I don't know about how health care works in Maine, but I assume that there would be a physician that oversaw this clinic. Secondly, a physician, PA, or NP would have to prescribe the pill. It's not as if they would just be handing them out at every turn, advertising it, or pushing it. Moreover, I would bet that the use of the pill would be extremely uncommon, especially in an 11 year old, but I think we as responsible parents are forgetting that there are 11-year-old out there who are having sex. Girls are getting their periods as young as 8 or 9, which enables them as wrong as it is to get pregnant. We are assuming that an 11-year-old who is having sex is being abused, but that isn't necessarily true. She could be having sex with another 11-year-old.

I highly doubt that this will lead to a rush of 11-year-olds on the pill. Furthermore, a responsible prescriber of the medication would do a full history and physical before such a presription was handed out. Maybe I am naive, but when I was 13 or 14, I probably could have used the pill. If I had gotten pregnant, my life would have literally been over, at least as I know it now. There is no way in hell I would have ever had that conversation with my parents. Plus, I was worried about going to a doctor because I was worried as a minor that they would inform my parents.

I think children need more rights separate from their parents. I think it is the reponsibility of health care providers and educators to help those children whose parents won't or can't help them.

Maybe offering the pill will allow conversations about it that will lead to the counseling, education, and betterment of young girls.

Again, I highly doubt that every or even more than a couple 11-year-old that walks in that clinic is going to walk out with a pack of BCPs.

I think it is easy for those of us who are good parents and truly have our child's best interest in mind to forget that there are many children whose parents just plain don't give a rat's ass. I know a girl, for example, who was out at work with her dad. A co-worker of his offered to take her shopping so that she could buy this poor girl a bra. Her mother is the one that I know. This mother was 15 years old when she had her daughter. She said that she will never talk to her kids about sex because it is too hard. Further, she couldn't even talk to her daughter about bras! A stranger had to intervene and take her (way too far developed to not be wearing one) daughter out to get a bra. The daughter was relieved and so was the mother. She couldn't be put out to go get her daughter a bra because of her social phobias, and it was too embarassing.

There are a lot of really, really, really, really horrible parents out there. Not all of them are abusers. Some of them are abusers, but not to the extent that their children could be removed from their homes. What about those kids? Who looks out for them? It's their shitty parent's job? Yeah, but they aren't doing it, so let's punish the 13-year-old who is confused about sex with a pregnancy?

I'm sorry, I just don't understand why people are so willing to protect parents' rights, but not the rights of these children.