Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I agree with Sally that there is some serious dysfunction out there were it is not safe for kids to talk to their parents about sex, birth control, or a pregnancy. Weighing that against age, I still think middle school is too young for this. My opinions on parental notification for high school age are more lenient.

Middle school here is typically 11-13. A child would have to have an early birthday and be held back a year to be 15.

[mommax3]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Do you all really think even a 13 or 14 year old having sex is a normal thing? It's just not. These kids are crying out for some kind of help or have been or are currently experiencing abuse in some form....what is the best kind of help/protection for them? BCP or help from a physician, counselor and PARENTS.

Here are my thoughts.....the parents have been there all along and for whatever reason, this is going on ANYWAY. If a kid (boy or girl) is having (consensual) sex at age 13, I think that the parents dropped the ball long before that....what are the odds that they are going to be able to get their kids back under control? If a child reports that they are being abused, then OF COURSE social services and the police should be involved. If the child doesn't report abuse, then what is the role of social services?

FWIW, I *don't* think that 13 or 14 year olds having sex is a normal thing, at least in my world and in my experience. But I know that it happens.....I have seen it in both the schools where I have taught....and both places are rural schools where the population is fairly conservative. So when I hear "inner city" I assume that it is much more prevalent.

I guess I am answering with the practical side of my brain instead of the momma bear side. I don't think of this as a global solution or a preferred one.

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

King Middle School (King Middle School website): the school's current principal is Michael McCarthy. It is cited as one of the most racially diverse in the state of Maine: the student body represents seventeen countries and 28 languages. The school teaches from sixth to eighth grade and has sixty teachers.

6th to 8th grade would be 11-14 year olds, assuming no one is held back and all is normal.

October 19, 2007
Dear Parents,
I wanted to write you a quick note to address the swirl of controversy surrounding King Middle School’s
Health Center. There is an amount of misinformation out in the national media that I would like to clarify
for our families. Here is our logic:
1. Teen pregnancy is a life-changing event with many negative results. There have been 17
pregnancies among Portland Middle Schools in the last 4 years.
2. Some of our students only access health care through the King Student Health Center operated by
the City of Portland’s Public Health Division.
3. Five students who were aged 14 & 15 self reported risky sexual behavior at the Health Center last
year resulting in one full-term pregnancy.
4. To prevent pregnancy the Health Center needs to have contraception as an option when a student
admits being sexually active. Contraception would only be prescribed in rare cases after
counseling about abstinence and postponing sexual behavior was not productive. Every effort is
always made to encourage the student to join with her parents in making this decision.
5. There is also counseling to determine if this is a case of abuse or coercion. In this case proper
authorities would be informed.
6. If the student does not wish to inform their parent – the doctor is required by Maine State Law to
keep the diagnosis confidential. This is also the case if a private physician treats a student.
7. Our goal is to equalize access to health care for our students who use the Health Center as their
primary source of health care. This gives the doctor the full range of options to prevent teen
pregnancy.
I hope this logic makes sense to you and helps you understand our thinking. King is a great school
dedicated to the learning, health and safety of all of our kids. This change is another tool to support our
students albeit a very small minority.
I have talked with a number of parents and I know one positive outcome of this controversy is that parents
and teens have (in some cases for the first time) had a discussion about sexual activity. I suspect this also
may be discussed in homes beyond King Middle School.
The media frenzy is calming at least as it touches King. While all of this has been happening school has
proceeded smoothly and effectively. This is a credit to the great kids and staff at King.
Have a great weekend.
Sincerely,
Michael J. McCarthy
Principal

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Well, Heidi...in my mind that letter absolutely changes the discussion.

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

Given the above information that I posted, I am even MORE adamant that this is a good thing. As he states, it is a small minority of students. Further, they seem to be handling this appropriately.

[mommax3]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

This letter outlines the policies that I imagined would have to be in place in order for everything to be legal. I don't have a problem with it.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I lost my last message about this. I don't know if I PMd it to someone or it just disappeared. If someone finds it, feel free to post it.

kris

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

This particular program aside...until we had the actual details of the program I still believe that arguing that children's rights supercede those of the parent in all cases is just wrong. There are cases where this might be true, but then the courts need to step in.


kris

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I wish that the letter had been posted sooner, because I think it would have changed the debate.

I do think many parents WANT to be able to do the right thing but just don't know how or lack the resources.

I have a really horrid story from my own 9th grade year (no, I won't share, and no it doesn't involve sex) and the school counselors did share it with my parents even though I begged and pleaded and cried hysterical buckets of tears.

Ultimately, it was a good thing that they were involved...though not what I wanted at the time. Because of the fact that it involved my parents and because of my own dad's temper I was certain that the outcome could only be negative...but it wasn't.

kris

[mommax3]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

From my dealings with the counseling staff at my schools, it is rare that parents AREN'T involved when kids have issues. I don't think schools have too many choices about that. They are almost as wary of a lawsuit as OBs are! I think that medical issues (once a student is under a doctor's care) are the rare exception, and even then, the student would be counseled to involve their parent or guardian.

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I still think all teenage girls should have to watch a birth (and not on video). That will scare them into responsibility.

[DCJenn]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I know that egg experiment in high school changed quite a few minds...and they did the flour sack, too. (you get the egg/sack of flour for a week and have to care for it and document how you took care of it. It included a trip to the store to price diapers/formula/food.)

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

The egg experiment was a project in my home ec class, they need to put it in a more mainstream class so that more kids have to do it, IMO.

[DrWahoo]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I kind of agree that providing BC will not prevent a majority of teenage pregnancies. I mean how much planning goes into having sex the first few times. I know for me it just happened. Then on top of that, I think a lot of religious kids will have a tough time even asking for BC. This was an issue in Africa that my sister-in-law noted when BC was urged to combat AIDS. I was also wondering is it illegal for kids to buy condoms ? If kids can get drugs and alcohol which are illegal for them, why is it hard for them to get condoms if they want them ?

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

I kind of agree that providing BC will not prevent a majority of teenage pregnancies. I mean how much planning goes into having sex the first few times. I know for me it just happened. Then on top of that, I think a lot of religious kids will have a tough time even asking for BC. This was an issue in Africa that my sister-in-law noted when BC was urged to combat AIDS. I was also wondering is it illegal for kids to buy condoms ? If kids can get drugs and alcohol which are illegal for them, why is it hard for them to get condoms if they want them ?

In response to your question:

There is no law, in any state, making it per se illegal to sell condoms to minors. At least none that I've ever heard of. Unlike BC, which is a pharmaceutical regulated by the FDA, condoms are not regulated because they do not contain a regulated substance. Companies, of course, may institute policies whereby they choose not to sell condoms to minors, as private entities are free to discriminate among customers if they wish, provided that such discrimination is not against a protected class of citizens (e.g., race, religion, gender, ethincity, etc.--minority-age is not a protected class).

It is not hard for minors to obtain condoms in terms of convenience (readily available at any drug or discount store with a pharmacy) or economics (they are pretty cheap). It is hard in terms of embarassment (buying condoms presents the risk of being seen doing it as well as representing a concession that you planned it--sex can't be excused by spontaneity). By passing them out for free at schools, the "embarrassment" factor is greatly reduced--they are received in confidentiality from the nurse. You aren't running the risk of being recognized in the store or have to go through the perceived humilitation of asking for a box from behind the counter in front of random strangers.

Not in response to your question, but my own personal little aside:

For whatever my opinion's worth, I think it is an improper use of taxpayer money to be subsidizing illegal sex (children of that age--11 to 13--cannot legally consent to sex). We're not talking about two teenagers of the age of consent who lose their virginity in the back of dad's Chevy after prom. We're talking about children so young that they can order off the children's menu at Denny's. You think a child who would like the chocolate chip pancake with a smiley face made of whipped cream is really capable of knowingly consenting to sex? Please. Talk about a situation completely guided by IGNORANCE (that's why they are considered incapable of legally consenting). Giving them a condom doesn't make them less ignorant. It makes them educated about how to act on that ignorance without risking pregnancy.

People cry, "Oh, but the children! We need to protect them!", presumably from pregnancy and STDs. What kind of public policy is being promoted by "protecting" victims by normalizing the crime and presuming the victim is competent/consenting in that crime? Treating very young children as being able to be responsible for their sexual activity is a ridiculous premise. It's a surrenderist strategy to reframe the issue that way. It isn't a debate between two legitimate choices. It's between a legitimate choice and an illegitimate choice that happens to also be physically and emotionally dangerous one. The focus should be on protecting the victim from the illegitimate choice--and you can't claim that you are discouraging the illegimate choice while offering an option that makes facilitating that choice easier. A wholly inconsistent message that will appear as an endorsement of the illegitimate choice to the children. But it appears that, at least in Portland, the desire to protect people (the kids? the parents? the principal?) from embarrassing health concerns trumps the need to protect the children-victims from dangerous and self-destructive behavior (note that, nobody in Maine is sweating AIDS--that's not the real problem...they are tired of their girls getting knocked up--it's embarrassing and can't be ignored or medicated away and generally makes everyone feel icky).

In addition, medical professionals are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to report suspected sexual crimes against children--that obligation trumps the doctor-patient privilege. I am at a loss as to how the school nurse is avoiding this obligation. There is no "but the other kid having sex is really young, too" or "if she really wanted to do it" or "was willing to break the law responsibly by having a condom" exception to the reporting requirements. If a middle-schooler needs a condom, that condom will involve a crime. So the school is both enabling a crime and concealing it. Great example of good citizenship. A+ in Conduct for you.

The message is disturbing: it's illegal for the 11-year-old to have sex, but instead of doing everything we can to appropriately intervene and prevent this child from becoming a further victim (both physically and emotionally), we'll provide a tool to less riskily (with risk being measured by Portland in terms of pregnancies) perpetrate the crime next time. Generally, most people envision this as a give-out program to young girls to prevent pregnancy (ignoring the wholly unattended emotional and possible other physical problems that arise from extremely early sexual activity). People think of the typical: a middle-aged school girl getting it on with her wildly inappropriately older boyfriend (who everyone agrees is a lech). We "can't" stop him (parents have given up, or don't know, or don't care, or endorse it, or whatever), so we'll just have to agree that this will happen and do what we can to prevent the outward sign (pregnancy). What about this? It is an 11-year-old boy who gets the free condom. And he then uses this condom when having sex with your 11-year-old daughter. Now, instead of having one victim, you have two children, each a victim (it is illegal for both), neither a perpetrator (you can't be a victim and a perpetrator of the same crime)...and still no one responsible.

And I wouldn't want my tax dollars promoting this type of contradictory public policy that abandons the victims to the assumption that the crime is just going to happen.

But that's just me.