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**DCJenn** · 03-12-2008, 11:20 AM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Well, honestly, we don't know whether she's going to walk away or not.

I can't imagine having to swallow that pill but what the hell else was she supposed to do?

I probably would have stood right up there myself. I probably would have poured fire ants down his pants the minute the press conference was over, but I'd probably suck it up for the 'moment'.

Jenn

**PrincessFiona** · 03-12-2008, 11:25 AM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Originally posted by DCJenn

I probably would have poured fire ants down his pants the minute the press conference was over,
Jenn

Of course...pouring them down his pants right BEFORE the press conference would have a much better effect!

**DCJenn** · 03-12-2008, 11:29 AM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

True enough.

But I think I'd like to enjoy the pain and suffering all by myself.

Jenn

**Sheherezade** · 03-12-2008, 11:57 AM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

I still don't think I'd do the press conference. I can understand not leaving them -- that's complex. But standing up in front of the whole world to "support" the man announcing his betrayal? Nope. I don't understand why we as a nation expect that. It's weird. If they were denying the charges, then I can see it. Admitting them? Recent charges? I can't see that. I think I'd be giving the wife time to process. It makes me uncomfortable and it highlights how fake it all is. You know the wife isn't there for any other reason than a political manipulation. I can't see her saying "I'm going out there and standing by you, honey!!" I see handlers telling Spitzer that it is important that his wife is there -- and her going as a duty.

Bleh.

**houseelf** · 03-12-2008, 12:08 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Ms. Spitzer definitely taps into my psyche because...Hey, I'm the wife of a big time DAWKTOR PEOPLE!!!! Can you feel me? (Oh, I'm killing myself here).

In all seriousness, Ms. Spitzer probably put her dreams, life, and choices on hold to support "Team Spitzer". She had to keep a much more composed game face than any of us. (Does anyone know if there is a politicalspouse.com? ) She had to raise children under public scrutiny and she stayed in through the hard years.

Still as the daughter of a woman who KNEW her husband was running around, it took my becoming a mother to understand why she stayed. (And believe you me there was no national press conference with reports as far away as the BBC). She stayed because she was our mama and she had a job to get done. My former self (think college years) was like, "How could you swallow that crap for so long?" I was all empowered and all. Now I know that she was doing what she had to do to preserve the family unit and get two kids through college. My parents quietly and respectfully began divorce proceedigns the summer after I graduated. I never experienced visitation exchanges, split holidays, missing child support payments, two sets of household rules. My mom took the much harder route of makign the impossible work.

I'm NOT saying that I advocate either approach: stand by your man versus throwing him to the curb. Still, there ARE consequences to either route. The children are watching.

Clearly I have some emotional baggage with this issue.

Kelly

**migirl** · 03-12-2008, 12:56 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Last night Jon Stewart had a funny bit about the political-wife-at-the-press-conference thing ... he showed clips of past politicians discussing their indiscretions with their wives by their sides, and Stewart commented that the lesson here must be that you're "supposed to bring a date".

I think - like so many things in life - everyone's circumstances are so individual and different, it's hard to say what people should/shouldn't do. My dad also cheated on my mom when I was little, and until I got married and had my own family I thought for sure that if that ever happened to me I would walk away. Now? I'm not so sure. I've invested a lot of time and energy into our marriage and our family. I'm not saying that I'd stand up next to my husband in front of the entire country for a public humiliation, though.

I don't see anything wrong with Eliot Spitzer's wife supporting him and sticking with him through this mess if that's what she chooses to do, but I do think that making the wife physically "stand by her man" at those press conferences is awful and tacky. As The Daily Show correspondent said, they should put the hooker up there with the man instead since that's who we all want to see anyway.

**DCJenn** · 03-12-2008, 01:03 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

A funny bit just went through on the Post's Political Chat-

Someone asked if there had been any female politicians taken down by similar issues and other than Chenoweth (R-ID), no one could think of any other (except Catherine the Great and needless to say, she didn't have to resign).

Then someone wrote in to say that they recalled a female politico saying something to the effect of, 'well, it's not like 20yo lifeguards are throwing themselves at my feet, either..."

Jenn

**Vishenka69** · 03-12-2008, 01:57 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Originally posted by DCJenn

A funny bit just went through on the Post's Political Chat-

Someone asked if there had been any female politicians taken down by similar issues and other than Chenoweth (R-ID), no one could think of any other (except Catherine the Great and needless to say, she didn't have to resign).

Then someone wrote in to say that they recalled a female politico saying something to the effect of, 'well, it's not like 20yo lifeguards are throwing themselves at my feet, either..."

Jenn

Well, as you all already know, power makes men more attractive and women more bitchy. :P

I'm curious as to what she'll do next. There's some talk of these potential charges carrying a sentence (I've read up to 5 years). If convicted, he'll clearly get disbared and she'll be the breadwinner. Will it be his turn to support her career or will she dump his sorry ass? Not having any kids, it's hard for me to judget from a mother's prespective but as a wife, if DH tried to pull something like that, he'd be out on his bare ass in no time. If Spitzer reported $1.6 mil in income last year, she can get a nice settlement and not even work again. If she files soon enough and gets his assets frozen, he won't even be able to afford his fancy lawyers.

Join Date: Nov 2024 · 03-12-2008, 04:39 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Originally posted by Sheherezade

I still don't think I'd do the press conference. I can understand not leaving them -- that's complex. But standing up in front of the whole world to "support" the man announcing his betrayal? Nope. I don't understand why we as a nation expect that. It's weird. If they were denying the charges, then I can see it. Admitting them? Recent charges? I can't see that. I think I'd be giving the wife time to process. It makes me uncomfortable and it highlights how fake it all is. You know the wife isn't there for any other reason than a political manipulation. I can't see her saying "I'm going out there and standing by you, honey!!" I see handlers telling Spitzer that it is important that his wife is there -- and her going as a duty.

Bleh.

I totally agree. And would like to add that I don't judge HER for going out there. I judge HIM for asking/expecting it. I read an article on Newsweek.com today on the topic, and McCrevey's (sp? - NJ gov.) ex-wife said she was just in a trance, and the look on her face wasn't a smile, it was her trying to hold herself together. It's the advisors and politicians who say "we need the wife so we look wholesome" and push them through it.

**houseelf** · 03-12-2008, 05:50 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

This is one of those posts that I wrote and overthought and overanalyzed afterward.

(Note to self---step away from the computer). I hope I didn't sound accusatory, condescending, or judgmental towards his wife. We need less women judging and more women supporting each others' damn hard choices in life. If the truth be told, I'd probably stand by my man to keep the peace in front of God and all his witnesses.

...you know, before I got all medieval on his a** in private.

Anyhow, this thread has consumed more of my thoughts than it should have.

Kelly

Join Date: Nov 2024 · 03-12-2008, 08:25 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

That's certainly not what I was referring to when I stated that I didn't judge HER. I was commenting on the note in Kris' post saying that we (the collective we - not anyone here) shouldn't judge her for her actions.

**Phoebe** · 03-12-2008, 08:35 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Could she have gone to evade public speculation of why she was not in attendance?

**Meenah** · 03-12-2008, 08:43 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

I'm just glad it isn't my ass standing up there with my DH. I have no clue what I would do or not do. DH and I know we have enough skeletons in our closet for either of us to even think about running for any kind of office.

**PrincessFiona** · 03-13-2008, 04:38 PM

Re: Elliot Spitzer's wife..

Originally posted by house elf

This is one of those posts that I wrote and overthought and overanalyzed afterward.

(Note to self---step away from the computer). I hope I didn't sound accusatory, condescending, or judgmental towards his wife.

:therethere:

You didn't. I think this is an issue that carries emotional baggage for a lot of people who have set aside their own careers/etc to support the *team*. I know that watching my mom's best friend and mom of 4 get a divorce a few years ago brought tons of issues up. She was a sahm who side-tracked her career and then got really screwed. For awhile, she really defended her husband and I just couldn't understand why she didn't give him the stinky finger and walk away.

Now I understand better. These aren't black and white issues and it's kind of upsetting.

Kris

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