Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

I leave my purse in the car all the time. u:

I lost my purse five years ago, and never replaced it. Not a big fan of purses; I just have a wallet now.

But if one's standard of diligence regarding one's purse directly correlates to one's standard of care for one's child...

my kid better hope that we never get separated at the mall or something...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

I leave my purse in the car all the time. u:

me too! Sadly, I even leave my laptop and cell phone in my car sometimes too...without always making sure the door is locked. Clearly, I feel way too safe in this small town!

See, this is a huge difference. You do live in a small town, and I think it's OK to feel safe. There are neighborhoods where I'll leave Kate in charge of the kids in the car while I run into Safeway, and then neighborhoods where I won't even go to that Safeway at all... Where you are is a huge factor...

My kids don't care to get out of the car seats... I asked Kate what they do when I'm not in there, and she says they just talk, sing, annoy each other... Kid stuff...

I don't know why the mom ended up getting arrested in the original case. I don't know why she chose to take the kids just to donate the coins at that moment, either. I think there are holes in the original story, but I really hope that a precedent isn't set here, where moms can get arrested for child neglect??? We aren't talking about forgetting our kids in the car for hours while we go to work. This is a different scenario.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

I'm going shopping for a laptop. :>

No need. Just come find my van. I'm sure it's probaby unlocked!

[alison]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

Go to Europe in the summer, and you'll see a line of unattended strollers outside ice cream shops with babies in them!!!

(To be honest that makes the hairs on my American neck stand up.)

[HouseofWool]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

I have to admit that I am guilty of leaving my 5 yo alone too. I won't go into a store and leave him alone, this freaks me out.

But, each and every morning, when we are leaving, C walks out the door ahead of me as I am gathering the last of the things up for the day. This means that he gets himself into the car and buckles up alone. (Or not, he is 5, he's just a likely to be looking at a bug when I get out of the house ) I am 30 seconds behind him, but I certainly can't see him. Do I worry, a bit, but the door is open and our neighborhood is safe.

Should I be arrested, too?

[Rapunzel]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

My first thought was that I routinely leave my kids in the car when I fill up my gas tank. And, I have a BIG tank so I'm out there by the pump for a good five minutes.

I've thought about this a lot and realized that I have my own private 'rules' (that apply to me ONLY):

1) The car must be within my line of sight at all times.

2) The temperature cannot be extreme (I DO think it is criminal to leave a child in a car in a Texas summer, for example - heat stroke often happens in those situations)

3) I have to be back inside the car within five minutes - max.

4) I have to have a child old enough to sit in the driver's seat and know to honk the car like a crazy person if they get scared for ANY reason (and, I tell them to do that, too).

I've never left a baby (for me that's a child under the age of 3) in a car alone. It scares me too much.

Quick story:
Before my husband was born his older brother was in the car with my fil and mil. This brother was about six months at the time. This was before car seats were used regularly (early 70's). My mil and fil had a QUICK errand to run. They parked the car (with this brother) in the backseat and ran to the door of the house to take care of whatever. Both parents were within feet of the car the entire time - but talking to the homeowner. They talked for a number of minutes - 10? 15? When they got back to the car they found that their baby boy who had been left sleeping in the back seat had suffocated on a piece of cloth he had picked up in the back and placed on his head. He was revived but his brain had gone too long without oxygen. He was severely brain damaged thereafter. (This was the brother in law immediately older than dh - one of the kids who died in the car accident).

Anyway, probably because of the above I am petrified of leaving a baby in the car alone - even if I can see the car.

But, I do see how absolutely ridiculous it would be to prosecute the woman in the story. Should my inlaws have been prosecuted? NO!! It was a horrible accident. And, it could have just as easily happened somehow when my mil went to the bathroom during the day or something similar.

Although I don't think I would have done things the way the woman in the story did them (I would have left the older kids in the car to watch over the sleeping two year old) I think it is ridiculous to arrest her and charge her with any crime.

Now, had the woman left her sleeping toddler in a car during a Texas summer she WOULD be prosecuted - because children regularly die in Texas that way.

Again, it depends on the circumstances - proximity to the car, time away from the car, etc.

[DCJenn]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

I agree- it depends on the circumstances-

Here in TX? not a chance, most of the time. OK, one time I forgot Nikolai's lunchbox, so I left him in his carseat and left all 4 doors to my car opened. and the windows rolled down. (it probably would have been faster to unbuckle him, truth be told).

I take him with me to return the grocery carts. But, then again, it's just him, one kid. One is much easier to handle.

I don't leave him in the car also because he's fascinated with it and always is trying to get into the front seat and wants to play w/ the brake, etc. Today I was getting him in the car and putting my purse in the front seat and damned if he didn't just jump right in the front seat.

I'm a total freak about him in the car. I don't even let him shut the doors because he's so unaware of where he is in the time-space continuum. Besides, he's still not paid for.

Jenn

[Rapunzel]

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

Besides, he's still not paid for.

Best line I've read today!

Re: Mom Faces Trial for Leaving Child in car

A few years ago I was out to lunch w/a friend who was a dr. She saw another dr spouse come by, and said oh she's married to so and so. The mom parked her kid in the stroller by a table, went inside to order where you can't see the kid, and freaked the two of us out. We just stared at each other and wondered do we say something? :huh: Instead we just kept an eye on him, we both know the lady probably was a stressed out mom, and thought it best to keep our comments to ourselves.

A good friend of mine battled with saying something to her good friend who at times would sit in the back of the car holding her daughter who had colic in her arms, instead of in a car seat. She really didn't know if she should bring it up or not (her uncle died in a tragic car accident riding with the entire family, he was I think 12...) She knew the mom knew better, but was sacrificing saftey for the convience of a baby not screaming... I'm not sure if she did confront her or not.

Me, I saw two parents speeding like maniacs in a minivan WELL above the speed limit on Christmas day with an infant in the mom's arms in the front of the car. The highway was totally empty... I demanded DH to pull over and reported it. I don't know if there was an emergency or if the parents were on crack, but regardless they were driving seriously recklessly.

It's hard to know when it's a good time to speak up, and when it's time to say - um we all do this. And in this case of the mom in the article, we all do this at one time or another. Each is on their own in their level of comfort though, and hey if you need a new laptop and can't get a sitter...