the ethics of hired help

Someone on another forum recently posted about spending time with "old money" and how they gossiped about the gardener's wife, etc. It brought up a VERY touchy conversation about hired help.

I don't enjoy housekeeping, and if I can ever afford it, I fully intend to hire someone to clean our house (but not a nanny - I don't usually need a break from my kids - yet). A couple girls said they worked for cleaning companies (e.g., Merry Maids) and that they would never hire someone to clean for them. They didn't say why. I was thinking more of hiring an individual.

DSis & I have talked about this, and her opinion is that hiring people to work in your home is a way of sharing money with others, if they're paid well.

What do you think? I realize this is totally hypothetical or far off for most of us, but I was curious if I'm missing something that makes it an awful thing to hire in-home help.

[Momo]

Re: the ethics of hired help

Look, if you need the help, can compensate fairly and find an experienced person that is wanting the work, then it's a win win...ie no brainer.

[HouseofWool]

Re: the ethics of hired help

Honestly - as soon as we can afford it, I plan on hiring someone to clean my bathroom for me. Not live in help, but someone to come at least every other week.

[spotty_dog]

Re: the ethics of hired help

Yeah...I don't get it. There has been a service industry since there has been a class of people with more money than time. :huh: Is it unethical to pay a server to wait your table when you have two strong healthy legs and could easily fetch your food from the kitchen yourself? When you check into a hotel should you be provided with a rag and spray cleaner to scrub up after yourself in order to avoid some poor soul having to be paid to do so on your behalf?

I personally like the routine and ritual of housekeeping, and am kind of particular about some things, so I don't foresee housecleaning help to be a luxury in which I choose to indulge. And I've heard that some of the larger franchises like Merry Maids treat their employees pretty poorly. But I can't begin to conceive of a reason to denigrate the whole sector of jobs!

Re: the ethics of hired help

Look, if you need the help, can compensate fairly and find an experienced person that is wanting the work, then it's a win win...ie no brainer.

This fall, with two 20-month-old toddlers, a newborn, and no family nearby, I'll probably be at the point where I need a housekeeper the most, but we can't afford it. By the time we anticipate being able to afford it, they'll be 5, 5, and 4 - more able to clean up after themselves, so maybe I'll feel differently about it.

But honestly, I thought having a housekeeper (cleaning agency or individual) was common enough in dual-income households that it wasn't even considered a privilege of the wealthy. And definitely not a source of debate. :huh: Who knew.

[Cumberland]

Re: the ethics of hired help

We had someone clean our house the last two years of residency. I worked, had two toddlers and a husband who couldnt participate in household stuff. I wont have one now bc we seem to be in a more manageable place and I would rather spend money elsewhere. I dont feel bad at about it either way.

[v-girl]

Re: the ethics of hired help

I was so frazzled when I worked full time while DH was in med school that my mom would pay someone to come and clean my house for me. Or she and a friend would come and do it. She really felt my non-work time should be spent enjoying my children instead of scrubbing the bathtub.

She's offered to do it still, but I feel like since I don't work full time I should be able to keep up. I can't, but I'm not going to admit it. Instead I let her get me a gym membership and watch my children while I work out.

[Deebs]

Re: the ethics of hired help

We have a cleaning service. Two ladies come to clean my house for two hours every other week. All I can say is that it's cheaper and easier than the marriage counseling we would need otherwise. DH is much less into cleaning than I am, and I get fed up just with the de-cluttering I have to do for him. That said, we do have a service that pays their employees well and provides them full benefits.

[BonBon]

Re: the ethics of hired help

I don't see what's wrong with having a cleaning person - particularly if you are up to your ears in kids! That said, we don't have anyone cleaning for us. The first lady got bleach handprints all over our towels in spite of my telling her to NOT use bleach, and the second time I used a cleaning service who pissed me off a number of times. The last straw was when they brought a woman in who I expressly said to NOT send over and she etched my marble countertops with cleanser.

Um, sorry for the mini-rant. I have also heard that Merry Maids treats & pays their employees poorly, thus said employees have little incentive to do a decent job.

It's a trade between you and another person - they clean, you give them money. What's so bad about that?

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: the ethics of hired help

We used to be the hired help. I worked as a professional nanny, and later DH & I lived in a one-bedroom apartment above a garage on a large private estate in a REALLY affluent area of Dallas--DH took care of the estate's pool and we provided minor around-the-house help, in exchange for lodging.

Neither of us came from a background that provided for in-home help. We did not have maids, butlers, nannies, gardners, etc. Our experiences were incredibly eye-opening. We have STORIES about how the ridiculously rich treat the rest of us. I don't ever want to be rich like that, if you have to be like that to be that rich--if that makes sense.

Just remember where you came from and how you got where you are. If you are ever tempted to use the phrase, "You just can't find good help," then go try to do the job yourself, and see whether it should be as easy as you think it ought to.

And tip well.

Re: the ethics of hired help

I think it comes down to presonal preference.....I personally HATE cleaning floors and dusting! I feel like my spirit is being sucked out of me and I never get the minutes back.... OK so maybe it's not that bad, but I really don't like cleaning and that is my only complaint about DH...he's messy and a terrible help at cleaning...soooo, our plan has always been to have someone come once a week to help with the things I don't want to do....who knows what will actually happen though. I AM a little afraid that I will clean for the cleaner. The new house we have rented for the year comes with a cleaner once every 2 weeks, I guess we will have a better idea then.

I see nothing wrong with hiring someone ( I would go with an individual) but I also admire people who do a great job themselves!

[SuzySunshine]

Re: the ethics of hired help

I too see nothing wrong with hiring someone as long as you treat them with respect. DH and I didn't grow up with help, his mom now has a weekly cleaner that comes in. I have a friend from high school that could have gone on to be anything but she cleans houses b/c it gives her the flexibility she needs with her kids. I will hire an individual as well, I've heard terrible things about companies like Merry Maids.

[spotty_dog]

Re: the ethics of hired help

You know, I think that when someone is questioning whether it's ethical to pay someone to clean your house, they're operating under the assumption that housecleaning is denigrating work. But then, are the same people that are opposed to paid housecleaners also ashamed to clean their own homes? Likely they are heavy users of "labor saving" cleaning techniques. I wonder if they look down their noses at those who take pride in keeping house?

I guess I'm just super curious about how the original conversation started and where it went!

[mommax3]

Re: the ethics of hired help

I have a cleaning person who comes every other week and spends 5-6 hours. It has helped us out tremendously, and like someone has already posted, it has allowed me to spend more time with my kids without running around like a whirling dervish cleaning stuff up (not to mention that it is impossible to really clean with three kids underfoot, I don't care how old they are). This lady works for herself. I have had cleaning help through the years when we were trying to sell our house, and I used Merry Maids ONCE.....never again. They did a poor job and it cost lots of money. My MIL has them and pretty much stands over them and makes them do it again if she isn't happy.....I wouldn't be comfortable doing that at all. I also read "Nickel and Dimed" and I am sure that figures into my opinion of Merry Maids as well.

Having my lady come every other week is perfect for us because we aren't completely off the hook.....my boys know (or are learning) how to dust, vacuum, and clean a bathroom. But if we are especially busy, having someone come every 14 days keeps things from getting completely out of control.

This lady doesn't clean in the community where we will be moving, so I will have to find someone new next summer.....I hope I can find someone as good! We also have someone to mow the lawn, and I imagine we will keep that up as well....it is a lot cheaper than buying a riding mower, which is what we would have to do with the size of our current (and future) lot.

Sally

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: the ethics of hired help

In Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich works for Merry Maids or something similar. It was an interesting read.

That's what I thought, when I read this post the first time! That chapter of the book was very revealing. Don't read it if you ever want to hire Merry Maids...you'll change your mind.