Kids at Day Spas

No debate here, ITA. I can't imagine waxing my 8 yo's brows.

The big question for me has been a french manicure. A girl in her class got a french manicure for her first communion and DD asked to have one to celebrate her birthday. I don't mind painting her nails and I guess I wouldn't be too opposed to having a "date" with her to get a manicure for a special occasion. I'm not sure what my resistance is to this specifically other than I imagine her protecting her hands or nails and not playing or digging for worms like she usually does. :huh: (Her birthday came and went and she forgot about it).

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I don't see an issue with little girls getting manicures and pedicures though I'm not sure what age I think is ok, I guess we'll see as Adele gets older. But waxing, etc - no way!

[HouseofWool]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I can't imagine a bikini wax for an 8 yo, but I can see where some treatments are beneficial. IE the facial for a teen with acne.

I also have a friend who's daughters inherited dad's lovely greek unibrow. I can totally understand doing something about that so they won't get teased. But in most cases, I don't even do that stuff myself.

Re: Kids at Day Spas

Madre de Dios - that's insane.

I've got no problem with little girls having polished fingers and toes. But I think a mother who takes her 8 year old in for a bikini wax should be hauled in for child abuse. Not only is it ENTIRELY unnecessary at that age (using the term 'necessary' loosely), but it's an invasion of their personal space, an area they should be being told is only okay to be touched by themselves, their physician, etc.

I could only get through 2 pages of the article.

I've also got mixed emotions about mani/pedi's at that age (going to a salon for one), but it's at the low-end of the spectrum. I guess it's b/c I only started to have that kind of primping when I could pay for it myself, and b/c around here, when I see younger girls getting mani/pedi's it's usually very, very spoiled girls who act as if the woman performing the service doesn't exist. I kind of lump it in with the over-spoiling of wealthy children ... but I admit I'm likely blowing it out of proportion. And my daughter is still in utero -- ask me again in 5 or 6 years.

[DCJenn]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

Back when I was like 4, my favorite auntie and I would go to the 'salon' and get matching hairstyles and she would paint my fingers and toes to match hers. And she bought me dresses that matched hers too. but it was completely a special thing for us to do on RARE occasions. I'm sure my grandparents were footing the bill now that I think about it since she was in high school when I was born.

She'd also put me in rollers and we'd lay outside in our matching bikinis in the backyard (oh so wise for 2 redheads)

BUT, spa TREATMENTS? NFW. Yes, in junior high- by all means teach your daughter to pluck the unibrow and definitely seek dermatological care if needed but waxing? I don't think so.

Besides I've seen way too many dicy places (even the high end ones) that I certainly wouldn't expose my kid to!

Jenn

[Vishenka69]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I do agree that a lot of it has to do with the mother's insecurities about her own body. Why in the world would anyone wax an 8 year old? That's just so bizzare. My parents wouldn't even let me get contacts until I was 17.

I did start the beauty regiment some time in junior high (painting my own nails, shaving, lip gloss, tweezing, etc.). In high school, my mom would pay for facials but anything else I wanted (mani/pedi/blow out, etc.) I had to cover on my own and for the most part it was for an occassion.

I hope those parents have a savings fund for therapy.

[v-girl]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

No way! My girls can have painted toenails (no reds) and in the summer, they can have painted fingernails (still no reds). Their school does not allow fingernail polish for the lower school (5th and under). But no waxing and plucking or anything like that. Now, if my 10 year old were to ask to shave her legs (dark hair, Texas is hot, I don't want her to be teased), I would do it for her or use Nair. But no waxing.

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I'm sure I am going to get flamed but here goes. I have two daughters ages 7 and one that will be 11 in a couple weeks. My 11 year old has had her eyebrows waxed regularly for the past 2 years. We go to the spa because that's where my hairdresser is. She understands what girls go through these days as her 2 girls are dark haired and 1/2 greek. She has bleached and waxed their hair for years. My oldest gets teased constantly if her unibrow gets too thick. My 7 year old's eyebrows are worse but is afraid of the pain. When she decides to have them done, she will here no complaints from me.

We have a spa appt in 2 weeks for a girls day out to prep for our trip to Hawaii and will get mani/pedis. It is a great treat for them to go with Mom and get pampered.

[Rapunzel]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I'm a mom of FIVE girls - two of which are entering those tween years (they are currently 9.5 years old).

Right now they have an orthodontist as they have serious problems (REALLY serious). Both have T-rex palate spreaders (for those who know what that means) complete with headgear.

I see no problem with corrective orthodontia in tweens (or younger if the issue is extreme).

My daughters (all four of the older ones) and I have "spa days" where I paint ALL of their nails (with toe and finger nails that comes out to 80 nails I paint - not including my own!). The girls love it and it is harmless fun. Would I take them to a spa for this? Nope. Why not? Because I can do it myself at home and I would rather have the girls learn to do it themselves.

As far as the hair-removal is concerned:

(Caveat - in the last couple of years I've been waxed a few times - never did it before - and, I love it!)

My two older daughters (the 9.5 year olds) have asked me about hair removal. They don't need it just yet. But, they are part Mexican (re: TONS of THICK hair) and I expect that they will be sincerely asking for help with this in the next year or two). I have told them the different ways to remove hair: shaving, waxing, depilatories. I told them the pros and cons with each method. They both decided they want to try all three methods before picking one to use consistantly. Annnnd, that's fine by me! The bottom line is that waxing doesn't cause any more damage than shaving (oh, man, have I had some hideous shaving mishaps!); and it is fairly common for girls in the 10-12 year old age range to begin removing hair from their legs and underarms.

As far as a bikini wax for my daughters? Not right now. Now, when they hit puberty if it gets to be embarrassing for them to wear swimsuits because of the excessive pubic hair (which because of genetics I do suspect may happen - and I'll leave it at that) I will entertain the thought. I see nothing wrong with that. Shaving that area has its own mishaps (see previous paragraph ). In fact, I believe it would be much safer for my daughters to wax their swimsuit area after puberty (which I expect to hit around 12) than to wield a small knife in that area on their own.

I have plucked two of my children's unibrows. Nothing to change the shape of the brow itself - just the hairs connecting the two. Again, I see nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, the article was sensationalized and seemed to come from someone who doesn't have a daughter. There was a tone of bitterness to it: I haven't done this therefore they shouldn't either. I do think pointing out excess was the point of the article - and there was DEFINITELY some excess going on - but the author really seemed to be lumping in a whole lot of nonexcess as well.

[Rapunzel]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

Annnd, dh and I have already discussed this and have mutually decided that if our children begin having skin problems in puberty they WILL see a dermatologist. We don't subscribe to the idea that possible scarring of a person's face is a right of passage.

Re: Kids at Day Spas

The difference for me is age ranges. What is appropriate for my teenage daughter is not appropriate for my 8 year old daughter. The article probably is sensationalizing (I don't really know anyone who is like that with their daughters) but worrying about an 8 year old's brow arch? Crazy.

I also think there is an important distinction between treat and necessity (and the money needed to keep it up).

[JaneDoe]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

A bikini wax for an 8 yo? Maybe I'm a little naive, but what 8 yo actually has something to wax in the bikini area? That is strange!

I already paint my 4 yo toe nails. That is the extent I go to get her spa treatment. Since I rarely get a pedicure for myself (I thnk the last time I had a pedicure was before my wedding 9 years ago ), there is no way I would send my 4 yo for one.

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I have no idea what to think of this. To be honest, I don't want my kids thinking about their appearance much at all. To me, that means casually handling anything very abnormal or non-hygienic about their appearance (including acne treatments, shaving dark hair, or correcting a very thick unibrow). It also means not allowing them to do things that make them excessively pampered (like regular manicures at a young age - they should be playing softball and planting flowers).

I have no idea how I will actually do this when my daughters start obsessing about their appearance. It's always easier to judge than do. You should see the coy looks DD already practices in the mirror at 15 months!

[alison]

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I should take a picture of my hairy legs and arms for you all, and then you'll say "wow, Alison's as hairy as my husband."

Kids made fun of me to the point where I wanted to wear a turtleneck in July just to not have kids calling me a gorilla. Kids (especially girls) are cruel. You can say all you want about not wanting your kids to have a negative body image, but if they're "blessed" with as much body hair as I am, PLEASE think twice!

My grandmother used to say all the hair will come in handy, when I'm nursing-home age sitting in a diaper with my girlfriends, and I'm the only one left with hair on her head.

If our kids get my propensity for growing crazy amounts of body hair, then I'm all for waxing (my parents let me get it done).

Re: Kids at Day Spas

I don't think seeing dermatologist or orthodontist is related in any way to regular "spa" treatments for young children. There is a difference between wanting to enhance your looks vs feeling you need a treatment before you can go out. Teaching your child to shave or fix a unibrow is different than having the shape of the brow itself changed. These things are just standard grooming practices that each woman handles differently depending on her body and comfort level.

I totally agree! I don't think that a parent who takes their child to a dermatologist for acne treatments is being over-indulgent or creating issues. I think a parent who takes their kid in for micro-dermabrasion or botox is over the top. I think a facial intended to correct acne issues is one thing. A facial to pamper and reduce stress is another.
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