Mom Kicks Kids out of car

[PrincessFiona]

http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...WS02/904210347

WHITE PLAINS - A Scarsdale mom who apparently was fed up with her 10- and 12-year-old girls fighting in the car was arrested after she kicked them out in downtown White Plains and drove away, police said.
Madlyn Primoff, 45, of 36 Olmstead Road, was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, when she came to White Plains police headquarters Sunday evening to pick up her younger daughter

The 10-year-old told police she had been arguing with her sister when her mother stopped the car at Post Road and South Broadway, told them to get out, and drove off.
The 12-year-old ran after the car and apparently caught up to it and was allowed back in.
A passerby who saw the younger girl crying on Mamaroneck Avenue bought her ice cream and contacted White Plains police, who searched the area but were unable to find the mother.
A short time later, Scarsdale police notified police in White Plains that the mother had just called to report the 10-year-old as missing. She was told that the girl was safe and sound at White Plains police headquarters.
Primoff, accompanied by her husband and older daughter, showed up at headquarters later that evening and was immediately arrested.
Bail and court information was not available.

[PrincessFiona]

Hmmmm. So they were 2 miles from home...in a not-bad area of town that they supposedly knew well, with sidewalks.

I have mixed feelings. Having driven around with screeching kids in the van I can honestly say that this option has crossed my mind. I actually...don't necessarily think she should have been arrested. I wonder if she had an absolute heart attack when the girl didn't walk home and then went to the police station?

I know kindergarteners who walk to school every day or stand out at bus stops along roads that are not that great...Here, 10 year olds are in the malls with their friends, at the skatin' place unsupervised with friends and are allowed to walk alone through the neighborhoods, to the gas station for snacks, etc.

Kris,

I hear what you're trying to say.

I think two probable possibilities exist: 10 yr old truly didn't know how to get home or she was happy to manipulate mom and get mom in trouble.

However, I think it is the former as the 12 yr old ran to the car and because mom herself got worried.

Punish the kiddos another way than that. I'm thinking (childless dude) but once a ten year old that two miles is a helluva long way to navigate home on your own (good 'hood or not).

I'm not sure at ten years old (when not paying attention to directions) and if not traveled that terrain on my bike that I would've known how to make it home from two miles away.

[Pollyanna]

I'm not sure at ten years old (when not paying attention to directions) and if not traveled that terrain on my bike that I would've known how to make it home from two miles away.

My kiddos would not have been able to figure out how to get home either.

While I understand her frustration I find her parenting lacking and cruel. Maybe a set of earplugs could have benefited her in this situation.

There are some days when I would really like to have a button for chauffeur glass in my car. My kids aren't that age but I can imagine the frustration. Still, that is a long walk for an upset kid by herself. I could see her doing it with the older sibling. Why didn't the mom go back for her when the 12 year old made it to the car?

At ten, I probably could find my way home from 2 miles away but that is partly because of how our neighborhood was laid out. There were only 2 entrances into miles of roads. My oldest could find her way home from some but not all directions. If I had been kicked out of a car on the side of the road, I probably would be wondering if my mom would let me in (from the POV of a 10 yo with an active imagination not an adult).

[PrincessFiona]

I guess I'm trying to base this on what is within 2 miles of our house.

Is 2 miles too far for a 10 year old? No...because 3 ten year olds (my son included) walk pretty close to that to school on nice mornings). Would Alex be able to find his way home? I think so...but only because we take long family walks during the summer months and are familiar with the area.

Some things are missing in the story. Did mom drive back around fairly quickly and try to find her daughter...you know..trying to give her a good scare, going around the corner and then coming back to discover her daughter gone?

I don't know...I just have mixed feelings. I have never done this, but have been tempted by my 14 year old.

I don't think it is great parenting, but I don't know that it warranted being arrested either.


Kris

Well, I think that you've been tempted by your 14 year old. I don't think you'd do the same with a ten year old.

Doubt mom circled the block and came back quickly. I doubt 10 year old would've struck out so quickly after being suprised by mom booting her out of minivan. Bet she would've taken time to look around / be in shock.

As to the two year old escaping / not being supervised, not sure how that relates. If parents were intoxicated and entrusting a 13 year old who wasn't up to the task, maybe they should have been charged. The fact that they weren't doesn't really change my thoughts about mom making a concious decision to drop ten year old on the street to fend for herself - even though Scarsdale isn't Compton.

I'm honestly not sure what is 2 miles from my house! I'm guessing. There are a few directions she would know the way home from but they are streets that I wouldn't walk on with her because there is no shoulder and/or too busy. It's hard to compare.

I am thinking that a child who is in a car giving someone directions to their house might know the way better than a child by herself, scared and perhaps not thinking clearly. An upset kid might cross a street without looking both ways. I'm assuming she was upset.

Arresting her does seem like a bit much.

The 2 year old at the pool and Zoe...I think those are a different situation and fall under the "there but for the grace of God go I" parenting moments.

[Thirteen]

My mom has reached that point, but she would drive from wherever we were, ALL THE WAY BACK HOME, and say "Get out."

I've only ever seen her do this to my little sis with ODD (diagnosed). But then again, she's been pulling strings and causing vehicle misery since age 4 (she's now 17).
Furthermore, Mom started doing it after sis was a teenager and could be alone at home.

Tough call.
She could have pulled over and waited (?) until the yelling stopped, or calmly started revoking privileges and possessions. But I can definitely see the appeal of "Get Out!"

I ran with shoulder pads on in the summer to cut weight and prepare for the pee-wee football season approximately two miles from home at 10 years old. I'm trying to channel what it would be like as an average ten year old.

Seriously, perhaps I'm thinking of one of the more traumatic episodes of my own childhood. My dad when really upset with my mom, would drive away for several hours at a time to clear his head. Doubt he went far. And I was "safe" at home with my mother, but it tore me up emotionally.

Given that context, I can't imagine either of my parents dropping me off two miles away from my home. I think it would've been terrible. Even if I knew logically that I could make it home (let's say I had rode my bike over the path in the past).

The new situation of being dropped off on my own would've been very traumatic.

Good parents wouldn't do that period. As for being arrested, perhaps not immediately cuffed. But this story seems to suggest that she herself couldn't figure out where her kid was.

So, yes, get a charge for that.

[Deebs]

It depends. I know when I was 11 1/2, I was allowed to walk to and from school on nice days, which was two miles away. I think the 10 year old probably could have navigated her way, considering my three year old can direct me home from anywhere around our house up to a five mile radius - kids get really good at getting places they travel frequently. Was this poor judgment? Yes. Should this mom be punished by our penal system? I'm not so sure (plus, I don't really want to pay for it, unless she really is an unfit mother in other instances). She also kicked them both out of the car together. It is different, IMO, for a 12 and 10 year old to walk home together, even if as punishment, than a 10 year old alone. I don't think I can really judge without a lot more information.

[GrayMatterWife]

Not appropriate given their ages.

Tell you something, though...when I was about 15, I was mouthing off to my mom something awful in the car, about 3 miles from the house. She kicked me out of the car and I completely deserved it. It was mild weather, not on a highway, and I knew how to get home. I had on the most uncomfortable shoes and got horrible blisters.

I never argued with my mom in the car again after that.

[GrayMatterWife]

She could have pulled over and waited (?) until the yelling stopped, or calmly started revoking privileges and possessions. But I can definitely see the appeal of "Get Out!"

I might have pulled over, gotten out of the vehicle, told the kids to remain in the car, and called my husband to switch cars and he could drive the kids home. Boy, pull him out of surgery for that?? Oooooh, boy...the kids would NEVER misbehave in the car again.

Abigail,

By your posts, I think that you knew how to get home at age six.

But Kris and others, just because you empathize with the frustration, doesn't mean you'd do the same. I know you wouldn't. So, don't bring yourselves down by identifying with a mom which you'd never be.

[MrsK]

I haven't read the whole thread so excuse me if this has already been stated. . . but I read that she had let the kids off and told them to walk home. Then she drove around the block intending to pick them up again and they were gone. I swear my mom did this too when I was 10-12 and totally obnoxious.