Duggers expecting #19

[radwife]

I'm just imagining throwing a pencil down a hallway....

RB

[Auspicious]

I'm thinking that she's got to give it up by age 50. Even in her culture I can't imagine it's acceptable to continue on past the age of 50. Maybe?

I think the idea is that God tells you when you're done, and he tells you by not sending you another pregnancy. They don't see it as their decision to make.

[GrayMatterWife]

Ten years ago, I might have been a lot more critical: does she have some sort of complex or something? Why would you want to do that? I was pretty arrogant and definitely judgmental. I think I sort of assumed that a woman who would do something like that she lacked self-esteem, and couldn't find any other way to define herself other than by her ability to reproduce. It just seemed so... beneath educated women, to be constantly pregnant (as if you don't know how to prevent that sort of thing).

Now that I have kids, I realize that I was passing judgment without having any clue what I was talking about. I understand the joy involved with having children and seeing what God can do through you. I understand that this is a universal experience for all women, across educational backgrounds, and across social, racial, religious and economic differences. I find myself having far more in common, based on the experience of motherhood, with women who are outwardly very different from me...and I sometimes find myself unable to relate to my acquaintances with whom I am supposed to have so much in common. I relate to Mrs. Duggar's joy at having another child much more than I relate to my childless girlfriends' desire to avoid superficially "inconvenient" timing when they are worried about a pregnancy scare.

I'm not saying that I necessarily desire a dozen-and-a-half kids personally, but I don't judge others on the issue now. As long as you are healthy, responsible, and willing to make the sacrifices necessary, I don't have an issue with it.

[moonlight]

I think the idea is that God tells you when you're done, and he tells you by not sending you another pregnancy. They don't see it as their decision to make.

Thank you God for not calling me to have 19+ children.

The most shocking thing to me is that people are still shocked. Like they're going to suddenly call it quits.

what she said.

[DCJenn]

Honestly, I'm much more interested in our Member's babies.

ANY WORD yet? I swear I'm going to get fired today for obsessively checking this site.

J.

[mommax3]

I said something like this the last time she got pregnant, and I'll say it again....

whether it is "pencil down a hallway" or "hotdog down a hallway", I think those are rude comments. I don't see what is so offensive about their choices.....I can think of worse parenting just by considering some of the parents of kids in my classroom. I understand that they put themselves out there by being on tv, but I think the above comments are uncalled for.

Just as an aside, I have friends who have serious issues with prolapse, etc. and I was really surprised, because they have only had 2 or 3 children. Just goes to show you it can happen to anyone.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Duggers expecting #19

My drive-by iPhone post.

I was up until after 3am with a husband who has severe virtigo and vomiting...then up at 6:30 to getbkids out the door. I read the pencil thing and wondered if you shouldn't throw a pencil down a hallway if you have kids because it might wake the little ones up when it hits the floor. I'm not joking. Yawn. Shrugs.

I remember wanting 8 kids like the show 8 is enough and loving the movie cheaper by the dozen and wishing to have many more children. Fortunately God only gave me 5 because as it is I can't manage to get my preschooler to her first day of school on the right day!

I think their choice is a little odd but it seems to be working for them!

Kris


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I loved Eight is Enough too. I hope everyone in your house is feeling ok now.

Also think their decisions are hard for me to understand, ditto the reality show, but whatever does it for them. I think I would be annoyed if they were on public assistance to support that many kids but I assume that isn't the case (probably helped by the tv show?). Saying that...I realize I don't have some pre-set number of upper limit for family size to receive public assistance.

[oceanchild]

Honestly, they bug me a bit. I think it takes an extraordinary ego to believe that your procreation deserves so much of the world's resources.

(And now, she slinks back into her cave of unpopular opinions.)

[JaneDoe]

I think what bothers me about the Duggers is how Mom and Dad rely on the older siblings to take care of the younger ones. I think they call it the "buddy system". That is a heavy burden to place on the older children, especially when they don't get a choice in how many kids they will have to buddy up with.

I was watching Supernanny last Friday night (I know I live an exciting life) and that was precisely the issue on the show. It was about a family with 10 kids. Mom had always had a dream of having 12 kids, but she was having difficulty taking care of the 10 she already had. She depended on the oldest two children to care for the younger ones, including discipline matters. The oldest two were very resentful and did not want that job. They seemed to be missing out on many of the common teen experiences. The older children were having to shoulder the responsibility of Mom and Dad's choices. That doesn't seem fair.

From what I've seen of the Duggers they seem to be much more organized and in control than the Supernanny family. But, I can't help but wonder what the older children think about Mom and Dad adding to the family. I'm sure they have their opinions.

[Pollyanna]

I loved Eight is Enough too. I hope everyone in your house is feeling ok now.

Also think their decisions are hard for me to understand, ditto the reality show, but whatever does it for them. I think I would be annoyed if they were on public assistance to support that many kids but I assume that isn't the case (probably helped by the tv show?). Saying that...I realize I don't have some pre-set number of upper limit for family size to receive public assistance.

No, they had NO debt before they even started the show. They talk about it on the show quite a bit. They had an entire show devoted to how they make it work financially.

I am always amazed at the seeming hatred people have for large families. Truly, it just amazes me every time. Choice only counts for women who want abortions not for women who want, and can provide for, large families.

I've never seen the show! I didn't realize that.

[moonlight]

I said something like this the last time she got pregnant, and I'll say it again....

whether it is "pencil down a hallway" or "hotdog down a hallway", I think those are rude comments. I don't see what is so offensive about their choices.....I can think of worse parenting just by considering some of the parents of kids in my classroom. I understand that they put themselves out there by being on tv, but I think the above comments are uncalled for.

Just as an aside, I have friends who have serious issues with prolapse, etc. and I was really surprised, because they have only had 2 or 3 children. Just goes to show you it can happen to anyone.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings by my hotdog comment. Your right, it was a tacky thing to say.

[GrayMatterWife]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings by my hotdog comment. Your right, it was a tacky thing to say.

I'm kind of glad Mommax explained it. I guess I wasn't reading carefully or giving it enough thought...I couldn't figure out what everyone was talking about. **sigh** I thought maybe it was a reference to something on the show...

Yes, now I get it. Tacky and funny. And...sadly...totally relatable. It takes a while for you to get your "fitness" back in that region!