Someone elses daughter asking you for contraceptives

Is this hypothetical or a situation you find yourself in?

for me anyway... but its reality for others

Depending on how close of a relationship I have with the child and/or parents, more than likely I would take her to the planned parenthood. I know a lot of people here will disagree with me, but I really feel that this girls health needs to be protected. If it were my daughter, I would hope she would come to me, but I realize this isn't always the case in reality and I would hope if she didn't come to me that she would ask an adult she trusts.

shouldnt the parent provide this protection?

Thirteen. No way. And I would be beyond pissed if someone else took my 13-year-old to Planned Parenthood. I think her parents need to know.

I also agree with Ladybug about the statutory rape issue.

i agree as well... the parents need to know whats going on with their child

[GrayMatterWife]

Although I'm certainly not questioning the validity of the advice, this scenario sounds completely insane from the foreigner perspective.

Depending on what state you're in here, you can be charged when you act to "corrupt the morals of a minor." Although I am NOT a criminal law expert AT ALL, I remember my sister (who practices this kind of law) once telling me about how that type of law is very "squishy"--nonspecific--and can be used to charge someone for pretty remote acts. Personally, I think it's pretty tenuous...I was just trying to err on the side of caution.

[MDPhDWife]

Abigail, what is the legal age of consent in America? I was under the impression it was state specific.

[MDPhDWife]

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shouldnt the parent provide this protection?

Sometimes the parent is the problem or is abusive.

[GrayMatterWife]

Abigail, what is the legal age of consent in America? I was under the impression it was state specific.

Yep. State specific--and also situationally specific.

I don't know of any state where the general age of consent is less than 14.

But, then there are all these weird exceptions. For example, if she's under the age of consent but is legally married (yes, that can happen), then the statutory rape law doesn't apply. Also, in some states, the age of consent does not apply if the participants are close in age (that is, a 15 year-old can't consent to sex with a 25 year-old, but can consent to sex with someone who is 16). It's called an "age gap carveout." Also, in some states, there are "mistaken as to age" defenses. That is, if you reasonably and in good faith thought she was legal, that is a defense to nonforcible rape with an underaged girl. So "statutory" rape is not not a strict liability offense in those jurisdictions.

Beyond this, I don't really know much. This NEVER comes up in the boring practice of bankruptcy law!

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Sometimes the parent is the problem or is abusive.

so outside of abuse, how can the parent be the problem?

There is absolutely NO way I would take a thirteen year old to Planned Parenting, and I would be absolutely ENRAGED if some other parent too my child to PP.

That is not my right nor responsibility to interfere in someone's life like that. I just think that is overstepping the boundaries of parenting.

[Meenah]

I think 13 is way too young too, but you would be surprised how many sexually active tweens there are. In some states if they can physically get to the clinincs they can get the services they request. I personally am so glad I don't work with that population, but they do exist and they do need accurate information to save their lives because of their not so wise choices, whether or not we or their parents approve. I could never work in that environemnet, because I would want to tak them all home!!!!!

[Ladybug]

Growing up in Sweden, I knew lots of girls whose mothers took them to get the pill once they reached puberty as a preventative measure. 13 is below the age of consent in Sweden, however it certainly isn't uncommon for kids that age to have sex. Teen pregnancies still remain exceedingly rare in the country.

So are human beings. You're being wiped off the face of the planet, so don't try to tell me how much better this method is. Pu-leeze.

[mommax3]

No way would I take her. I would certainly talk to her, though.

[scarlett09]

Definitely wouldn't take her. I agree with what everyone has said so far, which is to find out exactly why she wants to go there and doesn't want to tell her parents.

I was pretty naive at 13, but there were girls around me having sex/being "late"/getting pregnant at that age. It does happen...

The law that Luanne mentioned is also the same in DE and PA. The law seems pretty scary in that these services can be administered without parental consent. But for teens in those states who have families that don't/can't be involved, the law must be extremely helpful.

[Meenah]

It is a tough topic, and I would like to add that I am soooo pleased that we have been able to keep this thread so civil given how hot a topic it can be. We have moved it to the debates forum for the obvious reasons. We can all learn alot from one another even if we have differing views.

[GrayMatterWife]

It is a tough topic, and I would like to add that I am soooo pleased that we have been able to keep this thread so civil given how hot a topic it can be. We have moved it to the debates forum for the obvious reasons. We can all learn alot from one another even if we have differing views.

That's so funny. I was just reviewing the posts, thinking: wow, no one really thinks that taking her to PP would be a good idea. I don't think so, either, but I could make some good arguments in support of doing so.

All I could think was: where's the opposition?!

Am I always looking for a fight?