Childbirth

hear, hear Sam

[alison]

I posted on the fly a bit earlier, but didn't want to ruffle feathers with my response.

I labored for a long time, pushed for 5 hours, and had a c-section. It was a clusterf*ck on my part, because the only class I skipped was the c-section class! I had purchased a series of childbirth classes, and that was the one I missed! Oh well.

My dh is pretty matter of fact about labor and delivery, and I trusted him 100% to get the baby and me through it safely.

I got my epidural pretty early on, and it was pretty great... Hats off to women choose to do without it. Holy crap--every single fiber of my being was in pain!

You'll be great!!!

[ladymoreta]

So, I'm sorry - I know this will probably get us off-topic, but I'm also fascinated by the number of non-medicated births on here! Go you-guys! I progressed really fast on my first and almost didn't make it to the hospital in time for one. I've kind of been afraid of not actually making it when we have another baby, but doing it intentionally? Hmm... That sounds really brave! What are the benefits? Possibly TMI, but I had an episiotomy; would they have time to numb the skin down there if they had to do that again? Or does it hurt so much by that point that the cutting doesn't matter?

[PrincessFiona]

The things that were routine when I gave birth to Andrew?
pubic shave
enema
epesiotomy
Just for starters.

I was very crunchy with my first baby and I had a 2 page wish list that started off by forbidding the above three. I wanted a med free birth too. Included on my list were candles, music (I mixed a tape to bring), my birthing ball, laboring in diff positions, etc.

I didn't go to the hospital class. I actually began to feel angry against the establishment of medicine during my pregnancy, which I know is silly. I hired a midwife to give me classes in my home.

DH went along with my plans because he knew that I was ... afraid. I was. I didn't want to be in a position of not having control and I was afraid of the pain of childbirth.

I was pretty radical.

Ultimately, I ended up with a c- section after more than 36 hours of active labor. :/. I greatly regretted not informing myself about every option so that I felt less like a failure.

I became a radical proponent of VBAC until I experienced a partial rupture.

An unmedicated birth us a great goal. Be sure to allow some flexibilit in your mind and talk to your healthcare provider about your wishes. It sounds like she is on board. Personally, I did experience a time limit to sort of meet the needs of shift changes. There us nothing wrong with saying in advance what you want. As I already said though, allow flexibility in your mind so that if things don't go exactly as you plan, you won't be left feeling depressed or upset.

Kris

[Auspicious]

Possibly TMI, but I had an episiotomy; would they have time to numb the skin down there if they had to do that again? Or does it hurt so much by that point that the cutting doesn't matter?

Partially related, but my epidural wore off completely by about a half hour before my first baby came out, and I could feel the tearing going on, and it hurt, but because of the adrenaline and the pressure created by the baby's head, it didn't hurt as much as if you injured your vagina in some other way. I don't know if you play sports at all, but it's kind of like if you catch an elbow during a basketball game and get a bloody lip, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as if you are just relaxing and something unexpectedly hits you in the head and you get the same bloody lip. However, after the adrenaline wears off they both swell up and hurt the same.

So when the doc was getting ready to sew me up, I asked her if she was going to use a local, and she seemed surprised by the question. "Oh! I don't know--can you feel this?" and she clearly poked me with the needle. "Yes." "Oh! Then I guess I will!" I was glad.

Good luck everyone who is facing a birth! Both of mine were very positive experiences, snafus and all--in my great internal debate about a third child, the chance to give birth again is definitely on the "pro" list. And I hate pain!! Of course we're all wishing great experiences for you all.

[DCJenn]

I handed $6700 in $50s and $100 American dollar bills to a woman in a bathroom at 10pm on a street corner in Moscow. It didn't feel slimy or underhanded at all...

J.

[Flynn]

I'm really in shock at how many non-medicated births there are on this thread.

I was induced with my first two so you basically HAVE to have an epidural -- and had a C section with #3 due to him being breach. I was going to have an epidural regardless with my first two so being induced wasn't a big deal at all from that perspective. On my first baby they waited until I was 42 weeks to induce and since she was huge (9 lbs 13 oz) I was induced with DS #1 at 40 weeks exactly and he ended up being smaller at a whopping 9 lbs and 8 oz. I have three kids and have never gone into labor by myself. How weird is that?

When I gave birth to our first I wanted DH to be my husband first and a doctor second. That was great until the alarms went off and DD had a low heart rate. It was awesome that DH could explain exactly what happened to me AND be the dad/husband AND be concerned. It was extremely comforting. I had issues with the epidural and he figured it out and demanded something be done about it. I was in a puking fetal positions at that point. I was in no condition to tell people what to do. Him stepping in and finding the solution with a clueless nurse gave me a better experience being a first time mom. For me, being doubled over in pain -- sweating and puking wasn't really a good way to say hello to our first child. When the epidural was remedied things went MUCH better.

Having a third party there wasn't an interest of ours. From our perspective it would take away the intimacy of being first time parents. Just our take on things. That's not a comment on other people's choices.

I would agree with the idea of having the birthing class in the hospital where you are going to deliver. Usually they give tours attached to the class so you don't have to make an extra trip. If you take a class THEN go to the chosen hospital you run the risk of your expectations from the class not matching up with that particular hospital and the procedure.

Good luck!

[spotty_dog]

So, I'm sorry - I know this will probably get us off-topic, but I'm also fascinated by the number of non-medicated births on here! Go you-guys! I progressed really fast on my first and almost didn't make it to the hospital in time for one. I've kind of been afraid of not actually making it when we have another baby, but doing it intentionally? Hmm... That sounds really brave! What are the benefits? Possibly TMI, but I had an episiotomy; would they have time to numb the skin down there if they had to do that again? Or does it hurt so much by that point that the cutting doesn't matter?

With baby's head down that far, the skin and nerve endings are stretched. I think the "ring of fire" is basically your nerve endings going to sleep like pins and needles in your foot. Any tearing usually isn't felt until after the fact. I can't comment on episiotomies since they're always second degree or deeper, I just had a first degree nick or two between the two births. (No stitches.) But I do know that when they happened they were the least of my concerns. Most mothers find that after an unmedicated first stage, an unmedicated second stage is more of a relief than anything, because you get to PUSH! (Or in my case, with the fetal ejection reflex, my body gets to PUSH and I get to hold on for the ride!) So it wasn't about being in "so much pain" but just about, hey, BABY! That pretty much keeps your mind off things.

BTW, while Flynn is right that pitocin induction usually causes much stronger and sharper contractions than natural labor, and most mothers (even those who'd prefer not to get the epidural) don't find them possible to ride out without help, I do know a few very stubborn women who managed to get through pitocin inductions without epidurals.

[Malpka]

My first birth was induced, but no pain meds. Last three were unmedicated homebirths. We went to a hippy dippy birthing from within class the first time, you know ... when hubby was still in OB residency

My very unromantic take is that birth is something that only you can do. Having the right support people is great, but it is the gravy on the potatoes. You cannot look to an external source to get you through something that intense- it just won't work. Some Dads are great doctors, some are great labor coaches, and some are both. If your DH isn't the labor coach type, it doesn't mean he isn't a great husband and won't be a wonderful father. It is important for him to be there of course, but I would be wary of trying to put someone into a role in which they may fail. Get a doula/sister/friend if you need. Ultimately, be ready to go it alone if you have to because you just never know what can happen- especially with a dawktor spouse.

[rainbabies]

I loved my c-sections. All three of them.

[peggyfromwastate]

I have had just about everything...

So my main caution would be to avoid thinking that one way is better. Every birth is different. Every single pain tolerance is different. Every OB is different. Every nursing staff... Different. Even your husband and his medical knowledge will come into play here.

For me, Birth #1: C-section.
Birth #2: Twins, VBAC, OB strongly recommended Epidural, and it was wonderful. I went into natural labor (water broke) 6 am, babies born at 10:00 and 10:07. 2nd baby out needed forceps, he was so comfy with all that extra room in the uterus lol. I did not regret the Epi at all.

Birth #3: VBAC, no pain meds, and not for lack of me trying to get some. I went into labor naturally, waited it out as long as possible at home (because of childcare issues on my front, not because I wanted to limit my chance to get pain meds, but ultimately that's what I did to myself...) So I arrived at the hospital for Intern Fest otherwise known as "Amateur night but *let's not wake the attending Ka?*" and it was pretty bad. But baby survived, and I was glad for that. Seriously, it was bad. And I was fully feeling every contraction and hearing every assanine thing that intern 1 said to intern 2 as to how to get my baby out... Dh, not much help. He was a med student. He'd taken classes, but didn't have the Medical Gravitaz yet to take over the situation and demand the attending be called in.

Birth #4: VBAC, induced, pain meds thank you very much. This birth was the slowest and most boring. I had an epi at about 5 cm dilated. This was a calm birth, and Dh studied the whole time pretty much. He had already been thru the OBGYN rotation and had done deliveries and what not at this point. He was in residency and had a little more confidence.

Anyway, I would say to just go into it with a lot of knowledge but not much expectations. Don't expect your husband to be a rock star, just in case. Don't expect the nurses to be willing to help you get in a squatting position, bc they might have 5 women in active labor at the same time while they have to prep 2 more for emergency C-sections. Birth is highly unpredictable, it really is...



Hang in there. You'll make it through.

For me, I didn't have any notions of how my birth Should Be... Which helped me not feel disappointed by any of the experiences. Ultimately, I deferred to the expertise of my OB, and I was happy to leave with healthy children.

Even though I can't say I used Lamaze breathing for my natural birth, I use my Lamaze breathing techniques now almost daily, to help me make it through after-school homework battles. Money well spent, that.

As far as post-delivery recovering, there wasn't for me a huge difference between non-medicated and medicated Vaginal deliveries. There was a little more grogginess with the non-medicated, but that's well worth it to me to NOT feel the burning and all that. But I would not do a repeat C-section unless I absolutely had to. I really didn't like that recovery from abdominal surgery...

So, I'm sorry - I know this will probably get us off-topic, but I'm also fascinated by the number of non-medicated births on here! Go you-guys! I progressed really fast on my first and almost didn't make it to the hospital in time for one. I've kind of been afraid of not actually making it when we have another baby, but doing it intentionally? Hmm... That sounds really brave! What are the benefits?

There are risks with an epidural. I'll let you Google it if you're interested because I've managed to seriously anger some people when I've had this discussion on other boards. But it's fact: Epidurals are not the risk-free, happy-la-la things that some would have you believe. And I say that as someone who has had an epidural and made the choice to not have one again. I think they have their place, and I'd have one still under certain conditions, especially if it helped me avoid another c-section, but I think they're grossly overused.

That being said, I think ALL women should learn some natural birthing techniques, no matter how they plan to have the baby. It's just good to be prepared for every contingency. I was clueless with my first. My water broke at home and I slammed into HARD labor (contrax 1 min apart) within 10-15 minutes. I had no idea how to handle it. I'd just assumed I'd feel a few twinges, trot on down to the hospital, have myself hooked up to the drugs and proceed to birth gracefully and pain-free, LOL.

[GrayMatterWife]

Basically, I'm a feminist and he's a dawkter. My take is "help coach me the way I need to be coached/I am woman, here me roar, I want to try this drug-free"...

Interesting position. I never considered connecting being a feminist with necessarily endorsing a drug-free delivery. Is this common? Does it come from the idea that women are capable of considerable physical strength?

I had epidurals with all three of mine. I never considered it un-feminist or weak--rather, I just didn't see any need for me to endure more inconvenience or pain that necessary. But, connecting feminism with a drug-free delivery helps me to understand why so many of my crunchy are into drug-free births. They have no issue with painkillers in other contexts--I could never really understand why it was a problem in childbirth. But now I see where they're coming from.

[alison]

Hmmmm.... You wouldn't get your wisdom teeth pulled without some sort of anesthesia...

After dd was born, I felt like my body had let me down. It was a really hard time to come to terms with the fact that I was not able to delivery vaginally. But you know what? 100 years ago, both my dd and I wouldn't have lived for me to tell this story were in not for the medical advances we have today.

Go in with low expectations and an open mind!

But, connecting feminism with a drug-free delivery helps me to understand why so many of my crunchy are into drug-free births. They have no issue with painkillers in other contexts--I could never really understand why it was a problem in childbirth. But now I see where they're coming from.

Hmmmm.... You wouldn't get your wisdom teeth pulled without some sort of anesthesia...

Yes but in non-childbirth situations, I don't have another human being on board who is at the mercy of, and affected by, my choices.

(Now granted, women need surgery and dental work sometimes during pregnancy. And I'm sure in those situations everyone weighs the options and decides what needs to be done and what type of anesthesia needs to be used, because obviously we're also talking still developing babies vs full term babies. )

It's not that women who go this route are trying to prove anything. It's not a 'feminist' thing. It's that they genuinely feel it is the better option. Or I should say those were my reasons because I can really only speak for myself. But amongst the many women I know who have chosen to birth med-free, not one of them are doing it for 'bragging rights'.