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Fitting Religion into the Budget?

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  • Fitting Religion into the Budget?

    OK, so this could be a touchy subject because it includes both money and religion, so if you don't feel comfortable posting about it you obviously aren't going to, but those of you who are comfortable sharing, please do. Also, I put this in debates because, well it could go there. Hopefully its rather bengin and I am as usual over thinking things.

    I am currently getting ready to go to the Jewish high holidays. We have been looking into both joining synagogues or just getting tickets for the holidays. Some shuls have discounts for young adults, others don't. I have been weighing the costs and am trying to figure out how much we are willing/able to pay and what is really appropriate. Unfortunately the shul I really wanted to attend just seems really steep. I wish I could pay part of it in volunteer hours, because those I have.

    So my inappropriate question to you all is... for those of you who belong to a house of worship, how much do you pay in dues and/or how much did you when you were just starting out?
    -L.Jane

    Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
    Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
    Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

  • #2
    When I did belong to a church, there were no dues. It was free, and you "offered" or tithed what you could. I personally wouldn't attend (even when I believed) a religious obligation that included a mandatory membership fee.

    IMO churches are supposed to be charitable and able to offer their services to anyone. It is off-putting to me to require, rather than request, money.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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    • #3
      We pay what we can. No requirement (there was a year we paid $0). Some weeks I put a $25 check in the offering plate. Some it's $0. A couple times a year we manage $50-100. We are still welcomed no matter how much we give.
      Veronica
      Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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      • #4
        There is no minimum to pay, in the sense of a joining fee or something along those lines. We tithe approximately 8% of our net.

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        • #5
          I know some of my Jewish acquaintances in DC struggled with this for the high holidays. I was really surprised by the admission tickets.

          We don't give our church much money, although we do contribute to special campaigns. This has to do with politics and personal beliefs surrounding our current archdiocese (where much of the church collection goes). We both put a lot of time and talent (traditionally, Catholicism speaks of stewardship of "time, talent, and treasure") into the church and kind of go with that.

          Overall we're kind of struggling with a general family approach to charitable giving. Have not sorted much of this out yet.
          Julia - legislative process lover and general government nerd, married to a PICU & Medical Ethics attending, raising a toddler son and expecting a baby daughter Oct '16.

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          • #6
            Tickets for high holidays are ridiculous! I tried joining a synagogue with a reduced rate for young people a few years ago, but never went through with it because I'm not all that religious. They really recruited me hard though. It was an "older" congregation, so they were really pushing to get young people to join. (by older I mean it was in a college town and had zero college-aged members). They really encouraged younger people to join for cheap in return for volunteer hours. I could have gotten a really great rate. I would maybe find an older congregation and do the same?

            Now that I've moved, I can go for free at my family's temple. My cousin married the rabbi.
            I'm just trying to make it out alive!

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            • #7
              I'm dealing with this now. Our congregation's dues are based on income. Income is reported on an honor system. High holiday tix are included with dues. We had to reduce our payment when I stopped working. We are active at temple and have been asked to sit on committees, accept high holiday honors, DrK is on the board next year. We try to make donations to the temple for special occassions. I went to a fundraising meetinglast weekend. They want everyone to agree to pay 50% more dues. We cannot do it.
              Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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              • #8
                We are just like vgirl, when I have work the church gets money.....lately we haven't donated in several weeks. I feel bad at times, but I feel practicing my faith is important even if we can't contribute as much as is expected. My hope is that someday we'll be able to give back.
                Loving wife of neurosurgeon

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by oceanchild View Post
                  We don't give our church much money, although we do contribute to special campaigns. This has to do with politics and personal beliefs surrounding our current archdiocese (where much of the church collection goes).
                  We don't give to the general fund but when the youth group has a retreat (typically 3/year) we always pay for a child to go that may not be able to afford to otherwise. As a family we feel better about this type of donation.

                  L.Jane, I don't know anything about tickets for shul but if there is one you want to go to and feel it would enrich your spiritual life then the cost would be worth it to me.
                  Tara
                  Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                  • #10
                    We have $40 per month automatically taken out of our account - it's not mandatory. The churches in the area are all pretty closely tied - and are tied to the local Catholic school, too.

                    I agree with Tara!
                    Jen
                    Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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                    • #11
                      The hippy Presbyterian church we attended when I was a kid never had required tithes or dues. We don't attend any church now, though, so I have no idea if that still holds.

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                      • #12
                        We give what we can, but we do try and give something every week. I want to make sure our kids understand the importance of giving/tithing, so I want them to see us do it.

                        Like others have said, tithing isn't "mandatory" for Catholics in that they will hunt you down for it, but giving back is expected in some way or another. I know some Churches do charge extra for non-members to get married, but I don't have a problem with that. I know it annoys a lot of brides, but there is a physical cost involved in holding a wedding at a church.

                        Overall, it is something we still struggle with as we could give more if we tightened down in other areas. We do plan to set aside a specific budget for charity/tithing at the end of training. When I do donate outside of church, I tend to do it through Catholic Charities instead of organizations like United Way, etc. because I feel the funding is better used and the causes are closer to my heart.

                        When we move, we will be attending the parish we got married at again. I think I am going to take a closer look at where each type of donation is going then...I have a problem with how much that particular parish spends on what I view as extravagances (particularly building projects) when so many other parishes in the area have to do with so much less.

                        I'm also somewhat an admirer of the LDS ward system and how they maintain their temples/meeting spaces. What a great community builder.
                        Last edited by SoonerTexan; 09-19-2011, 12:29 PM.
                        Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                        • #13
                          No money is required, but we believe in giving a monetary offering every Sunday. Once we sign "the contract," we will attempt 10% of our gross income. (In med school and residency, we were at about 7%).
                          "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and God what is God's." (Please, no stones! This is just what we believe in our household...)
                          Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
                          Professional Relocation Specialist &
                          "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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                          • #14
                            We bought Christmasy piggy banks in January. There's a Nutcracker one to save for those expenses. An elf one for cousins' gifts. And a Santa one for charity. That's how we got the girls involved with saving for charity.
                            Veronica
                            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                            • #15
                              We give 10% of our gross. It isn't a requirement, and no one but us would know if we did or not. We weren't able to do that in residency and I am glad to do it now. The money goes to support the church as well as programs (food pantry, church basketball leagues, frisbee golf course) that benefit the whole community.
                              Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

                              "I don't know when Dad will be home."

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