kindergarten "red shirting"- again

[spotty_dog]

CA is a big big state. I live in a very wealthy and competitive area. Every strip mall has a tutoring center in it. Kids are generally enrolled in "enrichment" classes starting in elem. it's extremely high pressure.

The families I've known in that area have kind of freaked me out with what they consider normal educationally. Like a little girl with a December birthday, she was a couple of months younger than my son yet she was in first grade last fall...she was five years old, FIVE, and her mother was lamenting that "reading is just not coming along well". Da hell? (This is a family I mentioned to you, that after a summer where they realized their kids were happier *and* learning more than in school, decided to pull them all and started to homeschool this year.) Another mom has a 2nd grader in Belmont and sighs about how she "has" to drill him in addition facts so he can get faster, and talks about his spelling homework and his reading and how it all takes nearly two hours daily...aiyaiyai!

[civilspouse]

I was re-reading this thread as we consider what to do with DS. We are getting ready to move to our new location and we've been looking into schools, preschools, etc. He will be four in August and the cutoff date is 9/1. DH thinks we should stay home this year, send him to preschool next year and K when he is 6. I think academically he would be fine and his attention span is good. He can sit while I read chapter books but he is a mamma's boy and prefers to be home. He always asks what day it is and looks forward to Sat and Sun. We asked MIL because she is an elem school psychologist and she recommended holding him back. She had two August boys and wished she had held them back. DH actually ended up repeating 1st grade. This is tough. I don't want DS to be the odd old kid. I'm sure he'll be fine either way, but of course I want to make the right decision.


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[Phoebe]

It is a hard decision and an individual one for each child. That said, I have 3 kids on the older side due to a cut-off date of 9/1. Their birthdays are all in September. With what you described I would agree with your MIL. I have never heard of anyone wishing they sent their child to school earlier. Let him enjoy his last year at home.

[spaz]

Trust your gut. Both my husband and I have August birthdays and we did GREAT. One of my friends had a September birthday but they went ahead and started her and she was fine as well.

I wouldn't be pressured either way. Just do what is best for your kid.

[SuzySunshine]

I think holding back is a lot more common these days, I think older is the norm especially for boys.


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[OrionGrad]

We're still years away from dealing with this, but DS has an Aug 27th birthdate and I expect that we'll probably hold him out for a year. Of course it's an individual choice, but I don't think it's that uncommon anymore.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Someone asked me today if I'll red-shirt H (7/9 bday). We won't. DH is pretty against it unless there's a specific developmental reason.

[peggyfromwastate]

Working in a K classroom this past year has really shown me that it's not about academics, it's about learning socially acceptable behavior. They are expected to do some minimal learning, but a LOT of kids are bored (they can read, count, color) and a LOT of kids are way behind (ESL, developmental delays that are just being recognized). My dd spends most of her time in "independent learning". That is to say, she completes her worksheet on her own then works in her journal on her own while the teacher has to focus on about 5-10 kids. So....

My thoughts-- if your kid is ready now, I would go ahead. I had a late July start school at barely 5-- he did great. My daughter now was 4 when she started (had her birthday on the third day of school) and she's been fine. My concern would be how increasingly boring kindergarten would be for a 6 year old already capable of first grade work.

I'm homeschooling next year though. I've not been thrilled by kindergarten and my two elem school aged kids almost hate learning after being in the worksheet/common core culture. The testing is out of freaking control.

And my dd5--- in kinder--- has started taking the mad minute math tests. Really??? Not necessary. But this is school these days. Let's pressure 5 year olds to get as many math facts correct as possible in 1 minute.....

[Pollyanna]

We held back our son (July birthday). He was ready academically but the gift of an extra year allowed him to really become a leader. That may not mean much in kinder or elementary but it is HUGE once they hit high school. The teachers I spoke to explained that boys are typically 6 months behind girls developmentally. So a summer birthday boy compared to a fall birthday girl could be close to 18 months behind her. Around here red shirting is the norm. Your child would not be the odd one out.

[Michele]

I don't regret holding my oldest back at all. He's right where he should be. My youngest (a girl) has the same birthday he does but I'm going to send her. She will be the youngest in her class. But she's a girl and the youngest of three. .. So she has self assurance the oldest doesn't.

[diggitydot]

One of the best educational decisions we've ever made for DS was to hold him back in 5th grade. He was already one of the younger kids in his grade, but he was also immature for his age. He's experienced HUGE leaps in maturity and social skills this year and I have no doubts will be ready for middle school next year.

[Chrisada]

kindergarten "red shirting"- again

My son is the oldest in his class bec he has a Christmas bday (Dec 1 is the cutoff here! Crazy) and he is by far much more mature and academically ahead of the others, especially the boys. He's considered a leader and was on the Student Council in kindergarten. He's in 1st grade now. There is an advantage to being older. But his kindergarten class was also very academic in addition to play. It's was definitely equivalent to 1st grade.


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[peggyfromwastate]

I kind of think the comments here about holding boys back resulting in them being leaders may be proving the argument behind disallowing red-shirting. For some reason, this is viewed as giving a kid an advantage that others might not have, due to the difficulty of finding childcare (and the fact that so few people are able to stay home with their kids). Here there have been laws passed to disallow for red shirting. If you are 5 by a certain day (I think sept 1) you must go to kinder. If parents elect to not have you go to kinder, then when you are 6 you must start first grade. It's hard to get "permission" from the state to allow your child (boy or girl) to start kinder at age 6.

I wonder how many of our sons (on this forum) would have been leaders regardless. My ds12 started kinder at age 5yr1month. He was far more ready than his twin sister. He's still bored academically at school but he's a leader with a very self assured manner. His sister is getting there... It's taking time for her to gain confidence.

My ds9 is definitely behind the curve-- neuro issues are mainly the trouble. I would definitely have held him back, but with a May birthday it was impossible. He didn't test as "learning disabled". I'm hoping to at least catch him up academically through homeschooling next year.

I would definitely check with the local laws of your district before deciding to red shirt though. And try to look at your child as an individual because statistics don't work for n=1...

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I kind of agree Peggy, doesn't someone have to be the youngest?

I commented on this earlier in the thread, I wonder if this is yet another reason that higher income kids seem to do better than their lower income counterparts. If you're poor, your kids go to school ASAP (generalization, obviously) whereas wealthier families have the option of more half-day/enrichment opportunities for that "extra" year.

I don't deny for specific kids, it's awesome. My mom always said that she should have held my brother back (Sept 2nd birthday) but again, someone has to be the youngest, right?

[Chrisada]

kindergarten "red shirting"- again

I spent alot of time in my son's class and saw that the younger boys were so immature, always getting in trouble, could barely write their name, and were a distraction to the other kids. Here, kindergarten is not mandatory, and you must be in first grade at six, so parents red shirting isn't really an option, but since the cut off wasn't until Dec. 1, kids like my son, are actually red shirted by the state.


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