Santa

[medpedspouse]

I've said it before, but because we're atheists I struggle with the idea of celebrating the holiday at all. If it was up to only me we wouldn't, but it's important to DH and his family. Holiday family get-togethers with the extended ILs are so wonderful and loving, and THAT'S what I want to pass on to my kid. To me the ONLY reason to celebrate is family. Holidays are our opportunity to give to family and friends, spend time with them, and show them how much we care.

And this is going to come off really badly, I know, but for I don't plan to teach my kid that any imaginary characters or creatures are real, period. For me that includes God. What would it say if I tell her we don't believe in God but we believe in Santa? That's messed up. We will respectfully acknowledge that other families believe in/practice God, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Elf, etc. etc. and do our best to teach our kid(s) that we respect those beliefs and practices and traditions, but we don't have them ourselves. I recognize that this will come off as offensive to some, but to me they are all somewhere on the spectrum between imaginary and mythical.

That's not to say I'm going to be a total wet blanket when it comes to her own imagination and inventions--to me those are very different than adults force-feeding kids myths and telling them they're real.

Not offensive at all to me. I actually found your post very refreshing. Thank you!! If you do not believe, why would you turn a religious holiday into something secular? I have always been intrigued by this choice. Is it because of societal pressures and it is just easier to do the Christmas holidays because the Christians are doing it? I believe my religious holidays are just as important as the holidays in other religions. It seems rather tough to adopt part of another religion's holiday (that I do not subscribe to/believe), and turn it into my version based on my beliefs. While being invited to share in religious holidays (other than my own) has been nice in that I learn about my friend's beliefs/culture/family, trying to make them fit my beliefs (I think) would be challenging.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Not offensive at all to me. I actually found your post very refreshing. Thank you!! If you do not believe, why would you turn a religious holiday into something secular? I have always been intrigued by this choice. Is it because of societal pressures and it is just easier to do the Christmas holidays because the Christians are doing it? I believe my religious holidays are just as important as the holidays in other religions. It seems rather tough to adopt part of another religion's holiday (that I do not subscribe to/believe), and turn it into my version based on my beliefs. While being invited to share in religious holidays (other than my own) has been nice in that I learn about my friend's beliefs/culture/family, trying to make them fit my beliefs (I think) would be challenging.

For us it's simply cultural/familial, because we both grew up in Christian families that still celebrate Christmas and it's a time that we really value to get together with them (or just give and communicate with them if we're far away like this year). We haven't adopted those practices, it's that we haven't completely let them go. That's why I say I struggle with it, especially with a baby on the way -- I want her to respect the traditions of her larger family and feel a part of them, but I can't pass on the religious beliefs.

[Vanquisher]

Santa

We grew up with Christmas traditions. Chad grew up Mormon and I grew up Christian. Many Christmas traditions are adopted from Pagan and other older traditions anyway.

As a family, we have chosen to adopt the secular and commercial aspects and traditions of the holiday that we enjoy. We see no religious meaning in the tree, stockings, gifts, cookies, etc.

We do not do a nativity. We do not read scriptures. We do not go to church. We do not talk about Jesus.

It's a cultural and family thing for us.




Heidi

[MrsC]

We're doing Santa. I can't wait until DS is old enough to be a part of it. I feel like childhood is about innocence, believing in magic and make believe. I don't want to impose my adult realism and pessimism on my child. I think pretend play is important in a childs development and Santa is just part of that.

[Bittersweet]

We're doing Santa-lite. There's no talking about him at home and there won't be any gifts from him beyond filled stockings. However, I'm also not jumping in with a "you know he's not real, right!?!" anytime the subject comes up. I don't want to quash their natural sense of wonder, but I also don't want to be intentionally misleading. For now, I'm comfortable just following their lead.

[poky]

Many Christmas traditions are adopted from Pagan and other older traditions anyway.

As a family, we have chosen to adopt the secular and commercial aspects and traditions of the holiday that we enjoy. We see no religious meaning in the tree, stockings, gifts, cookies, etc.

This. Non-religious traditions were co-opted by Christianity a long time ago; I don't see it as "turning a religious holiday into something secular" at all. *shrug*

[medpedspouse]

This. Non-religious traditions were co-opted by Christianity a long time ago; I don't see it as "turning a religious holiday into something secular" at all. *shrug*

Oh, I am very aware of all the pagan traditions that have been adopted as part of Christmas and understand the history. I just have always found it interesting when non-Christians celebrate Christmas. Although there are many secular aspects related to the this holiday, it makes me wonder about why such is not evident amongst other non-Christian religious holidays.

[Vanquisher]

Santa

I totally celebrate secular Easter too. It's pretty easy to explain. Christianity is the dominant religion and culture of the United States. I grew up in Christianity. It's easy to co-opt those traditions that are very secular. What's so Jesusy about finding plastic eggs full of money, chocolate, and other candies? I'm sure if I grew up with other traditions and in another culture, it would be different.

Heidi

[SoonerTexan]

We're doing Santa-lite. There's no talking about him at home and there won't be any gifts from him beyond filled stockings. However, I'm also not jumping in with a "you know he's not real, right!?!" anytime the subject comes up. I don't want to quash their natural sense of wonder, but I also don't want to be intentionally misleading. For now, I'm comfortable just following their lead.

Pretty much this. I'm not anti-Santa. We sort of did Santa as a kid, but my mom was awful at it so I'm not sure I even remember believing. My plan with N was just to never mention it and go from there.

However, about a week ago N informed me Santa was going to bring her a pink tutu. And she knew every damn thing about him. I have no idea where from because we have NEVER talked about it. Maybe the nanny or TV? Actually those are the only 2 options. I don't want to break her heart so Santa is bringing her a pink tutu dang it! But everything else is from mom and dad

We do celebrate St. Nicholas day, though it is Ns birthday, so it gets overshadowed.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We don't play up Santa and he will bring stocking stuffers but I'm not going to tell C that it's all fake and made up. We emphaSize the religious aspects of it more (we have a nativity, Christmas is Jesus' birthday, etc)

[mommax3]

Santa

We never really did Santa. We don't have Santa ornaments and we emphasize the religious aspects of the holiday with nativity scenes galore (seriously, I might need an intervention) and religious-themed ornaments. However, we do stockings and watch (and love) Santa-themed movies, and I have no problem with other people including Santa as part of their celebration. It just never worked for me. We don't do much with the Easter bunny, either...same reason.

[medpedspouse]

I totally celebrate secular Easter too. It's pretty easy to explain. Christianity is the dominant religion and culture of the United States. I grew up in Christianity. It's easy to co-opt those traditions that are very secular. What's so Jesusy about finding plastic eggs full of money, chocolate, and other candies? I'm sure if I grew up with other traditions and in another culture, it would be different.

Heidi

For sure...there is nothing Christian about the bunny and eggs biz. Thanks for your perspective - it makes great sense. If there are secular aspects that Christianity adopts, why would non believers find them appealing too...since they are not associated with a belief that they do not share?

Back to Santa...my family told me the history/story of behind Santa. They never were anti Santa but also did not focus on him. As a child, if another kid mentioned the big, fat, jolly, guy, I would tell them the story (history). However, I do remember getting into trouble for making the neighbor kid cry when I told them the mall santa was not real. I even remember my argument. I asked him how mall Santa could be when we also saw bank santa.

Anyway, we do exchange a gift at Christmas (and we celebrate advent) but we also celebrate the 12 days of Christmas culminating with Epiphany. In my family culture, Epiphany is the gift day...because in our beliefs that is the beginning of the whole gift giving "thang" . Now that we are away from family, I always host an Epiphany party for friends. That is when I give my gifts...it does surprise me how many are not familiar with this tradition. Maybe it is more of a European tradition or South American?

[ladymoreta]

I asked him how mall Santa could be when we also saw bank santa.

We knew the Santa when I was little (small town)! Mom told us that Santa was really busy this time of year, so he chose special people to talk to kids and report back to him about what they wanted.

I never really felt betrayed or lied to, even though that's what happened. My older cousins told me pretty early, about first or second grade. It was awkward when I got a little older and didn't know if my parents knew that I knew. As I got a bit older, they kind of moved into "Santa will quit coming if you quit believing in him." *wink*

I feel like there are so many movies and books out today about whether Santa is real that they'll catch on pretty early.

[GrayMatterWife]

We don't do or not do Santa. Gifts come from us, and Santa is presented as a historical figure who was a kind and generous Saint, the embodiment of giving. I think it takes away from the sacrifice and meaning of the giving - if all these presents come from a magical man who has an endless supply of money/labor, and I don't get what I want, then WTF

We focus on Christmas being about Jesus's birth - gifts are to celebrate his birth, and we eat cupcakes and sing Happy Birthday to Him.

That being said, I don't think there is anything wrong or harmful or whatever in "doing" Santa. It's just not something we focus on as a family

Ditto, minus the cupcakes and birthday song. Although now I am super hungry for cupcakes...

[v-girl]

For sure...there is nothing Christian about the bunny and eggs biz. Thanks for your perspective - it makes great sense. If there are secular aspects that Christianity adopts, why would non believers find them appealing too...since they are not associated with a belief that they do not share?

Back to Santa...my family told me the history/story of behind Santa. They never were anti Santa but also did not focus on him. As a child, if another kid mentioned the big, fat, jolly, guy, I would tell them the story (history). However, I do remember getting into trouble for making the neighbor kid cry when I told them the mall santa was not real. I even remember my argument. I asked him how mall Santa could be when we also saw bank santa.

Anyway, we do exchange a gift at Christmas (and we celebrate advent) but we also celebrate the 12 days of Christmas culminating with Epiphany. In my family culture, Epiphany is the gift day...because in our beliefs that is the beginning of the whole gift giving "thang" . Now that we are away from family, I always host an Epiphany party for friends. That is when I give my gifts...it does surprise me how many are not familiar with this tradition. Maybe it is more of a European tradition or South American?

My FIL does an epiphany party. We just go to Mass. I'm thinking that once we have our forever house, we'll try to start the tradition with the homeschool group.


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