Saw this on Facebook today:
https://rhondastephens.wordpress.com...ng-a-raw-deal/
It didn't really surprise me--I've seen this variation played out over and over. It's always hyperbole, but the basic message is, "Our parents didn't spoil us materially or emotionally in the 70s like we are doing to our kids now and we survived."
I'm in a weird in between--I was born in the late 80s, so a lot of what defines a "millenial" childhood (ubiquitous internet, fancy sports teams, expesive clothes, crazy school expectations etc.) was only present at the very tail end of my childhood. It definitely played out for some of my younger siblings though.
Two thoughts/questions I have and want to hear what others have to say.
https://rhondastephens.wordpress.com...ng-a-raw-deal/
It didn't really surprise me--I've seen this variation played out over and over. It's always hyperbole, but the basic message is, "Our parents didn't spoil us materially or emotionally in the 70s like we are doing to our kids now and we survived."
I'm in a weird in between--I was born in the late 80s, so a lot of what defines a "millenial" childhood (ubiquitous internet, fancy sports teams, expesive clothes, crazy school expectations etc.) was only present at the very tail end of my childhood. It definitely played out for some of my younger siblings though.
Two thoughts/questions I have and want to hear what others have to say.
- I drove crappy cars in high school and bought my own crappy car in college (that my youngest sister is now driving, so she isn't totally spoiled!), we never had a cleaning lady, we all mowed the lawn, did chores, cooked dinner, and were expected to help care for our siblings. I started babysitting at 13 and had part time and full time jobs from 15 til I started work at 22. I think I am better because of these things. At the same time, my husband had a very different experience growing up, and while it probably would have served him well to not have a cleaning lady around so much and to have to mow the lawn every once in awhile, I cant really say that he or his other grown siblings are horribly selfish or incapable of taking care of themselves. I struggle with how to approach this with my own children. I want them to value hard work and be successful on their own, but I cant really say that my experience was the gold standard. In a lot of ways it stressed me out. And I want a cleaning lady dang it! How do I enjoy the things I've worked for without overindulging my children? Or do I even need to worry about it so much?
- The whole, "my parents could give a rats ass about what I was doing or how I felt in the 70s and I survived" manta bothers me. This description sounds a lot like my mom's experience and she is still pretty bitter about a lot of her childhood--she felt ignored by her parents and her relationship with them is still not great to this day. She definitely resolved to be a better parent. It wasn't so much about the chores--it was more about her parents not caring about the issues in her life or her safety. I think helicoptor parenting is real and it is very easy to go overboard (I see it in myself already), but I sort of feel that the parents of today are a direct result of the lack of something in their own childhoods, even if they are occasionally taking it to the extreme. Supposedly the millenial generation is closer to their parents than ever before. I believe it, because I'm pretty dang close to my parents. Many of my friends (in their late 20s and early 30s) still spend a lot of their free time with their parents and siblings by choice. Why is this such a bad thing? I see my mom fret about what she is going to do with her parents as they age and need care because she can barely handle 4 days in a row with her mother. I had to remind her that if the time comes, her children are going to be much happier and willing to provide that support for her because we have a good relationship. Shouldn't this closer relationship at least partly be chalked up as a win?
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