Orlando Shooting

[alotofyarn]

We're not at the age of dropping off yet, but I'd be totally OK if someone asked me. Ours are all locked up, and to be honest, I don't even know the combination to the safe. We do intend to teach responsible use as well, but they will always stay locked up when not in use by a responsible adult.

[Pollyanna]

Its fine to ask if folks have guns and responsible gun owners are more than happy to answer your questions but many parents ask these questions when they have littles and are still arranging playdates. A time when honestly most people are watching your kiddos when they are playing. What you need to think about is when the kids get older. Its when kids get older that friends may go pheasant hunting together, or hunting rabbits with BB guns, etc. Then it is not so much about the parents of your kids friends but your own child. Teach your child to be a strong leader that knows how to handle these situations, that will do more good than anything. Truly, in my experience you need to ask if the parents plan to drink and drive. I know waaay more folks that are irresponsible with alcohol than are irresponsible with guns. Once I had my child brought home by a mother who was three sheets to the wind AT BEST (at 4 in the afternoon). I know more than a handful of moms that are now in recovery and yes, they will admit to driving other peoples children around while they were under the influence (and FYI, I am damn impressed that several admitted to this, I'm sure it was scary as hell to apologize to other parents). I'm telling you, the loaded gun you are worried about isn't so much a loaded gun as it is a loaded mother (no offense to mothers, I'm sure there are dads that do the same thing, my experience has just been with moms).

[scrub-jay]

That is horrifying [MENTION=1102]Pollyanna[/MENTION]

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

That is horrifying [MENTION=1102]Pollyanna[/MENTION]

Yes. Horrifying.

[Pollyanna]

Totally agree and when I had my first littles I would have never thought it could be an issue. Never in a million years. I personally know 4 moms in recovery, another 4 that should be in recovery and then many more that I wonder about. All good people.

[BonBon]

Totally agree and when I had my first littles I would have never thought it could be an issue. Never in a million years. I personally know 4 moms in recovery, another 4 that should be in recovery and then many more that I wonder about. All good people.

Thank you...never would have thought to be on the lookout for this.

[scrub-jay]

I know one woman who had a problem (before I met her) but she said she hit rock bottom when she had to call her DH to come home from work to pick up their kid from school because she couldn't drive.

[SoonerTexan]

"Do you day drink? Is your liquor cabinet locked?"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[houseelf]

I think Pollyanna is onto a secret suburban thing. I'm absolutely astonished at the social drinking in our circles. It's hidden in plain sight. Parents have adult parties and allow their kids to have friends over. Parents get sloppy drunk. My oldest once called me at 1230 on New Years eve because the friends dad was becoming a belligerent drunk to his 13 year old son.

I don't say this in judgment, we're all offing crazy in our own way. Alcohol isn't my addiction or crazy making of choice, but there is a metric ton out there. Heads up that those talks about the dangers of alcohol may be confusing when your kids see their parents friends getting smashed every weekend at tailgating parties and football games.

[OrionGrad]

Has anyone actually been asked any of these questions by another parent? I feel like it's obvious we'd all want to ask these questions in theory, but it's harder in the real world because it sort of implies something negative if you ask a friend if her firearms are locked up or if she has a drinking problem.

[SoonerTexan]

I admit I wouldn't ask about the drinking


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Pollyanna]

Folks think it is their "right" to drink (and it is) and are more likely to become irate if you ask about alcohol, more so than if you just ask about guns. I don't come out and ask people if they drink but it is the very rare person we allow to drive our children. We don't do many sleep overs, we are just cautious with our littles. We give our olders a much wider birth because we want them to experience and know how to handle complex social situations. If you talk to people enough you can get a feel for how they parent. I don't care so much how other parents choose to raise their children but I won't leave my children in their charge if they make me uncomfortable. I have a dear friend that I love but I'd never leave a child with her for a variety of reasons.

Kelly is right about the suburban drinking. It's bad. In our current neighborhood I was told that once you move in you'll start day drinking, do it for a couple of years, and then maybe back off. Went to a bunco group that tried to force the person that rolled a bunco to take a shot. The sad thing is that even though several of the ladies didn't want to or felt uncomfortable or had young children they had to go home and care for I was the only one that simply said, "no". There was this huge pressure to follow the crowd. I don't care if you want to drink, but I do care when you're getting on the road, even in a golf cart, to go drive kids around. And I care because I'm a human being and seeing the need many moms have to medicate themselves continually makes me very sad.

Y'all have to do what makes you comfortable with your littles. Like I said, go ahead and ask about guns but realize you really need to be on it when they're older. And be aware that there is stuff so much scarier than guns. Guns are easy to talk about and we feel like if they are safely locked away our kids are okay. We can breath a sigh of relief and feel in control. I've totally btdt. But there's that other stuff you never expected that you need to watch out for. That doesn't mean to stop doing play dates or never allow sleep overs or force your kids to only be at your house it just means to keep the conversation flowing, let them navigate tough social stuff but love on them when they mess up. For the most part kids want to do good and do hear what we are saying even if they don't always listen.

[diggitydot]

Holy shit. Maybe this is regional? I haven't encountered ANY of this disordered drinking crap.

[Meenah]

When mine were little I always asked about guns, but never about drinking. Holy crap, wish I had.

[Michele]

Disordered drinking is prominent where I live. So are guns from my asking.