Competitive Birthing...

Jane, I believe the correct term is "stupid" per the thread.

[Vanquisher]

I guess the best way for me to describe it is that I want to be able to fully experience it.

I guess I felt the opposite. I felt that if I was in so much pain, my focus would be on the pain as opposed to the experience. With an epidural, I felt I could fully experience it. Whatever makes your bum hum though. I guess I do find it a tad nutty to want to experience that kind of pain.

Good luck to you, and I hope you get the birth experience you want!

Ok....as a guy, when I saw this topic....my first thought was women/families competing to have the most kids.

If that was the case, I have some cousins (and friends) who would kick a%%. They have to travel in a 15-passenger vans and old reformed school busses and they are still in their early thirties!

Jane, I don't think you're crazy, stupid or whatever. I mean it when I say, let me have my baby my way and you yours. I had wanted to go without an epidural with my first for two reasons. One, I hated the idea of someone sticking a needle in my back and two, it seemed incredibly passive to me to just lay in a bed waiting for the baby to come. Well, it turned out to not be quite like that. Just like any big life event, not everything goes according to plan and there are some surprises along the way. I did have an epidural and, in retrospect was happy to because I think it helped me avoid a c-section. I also feel like I was more present at the end of the delivery because I wasn't in so much pain. I went with an epidural the second time around.

Before my first was born, I couldn't believe the comments I got from both camps. On the drug-free side -- that I would be harming my baby if I got pain meds and for that reason was being selfish, that I wasn't experiencing "womanhood" fully, that my doctor and midwife were whitewashing the dangers of getting an epidural. blah blah blah. On the pro-drug side, "please don't tell me you are going to be crazy and not get drugs" etc. It's a good introduction to parenting and the varied (and often unwanted) advice you'll get.

So, I don't think you are crazy no matter what you decide to do. If you do want to go the drug-free route, the hospital lamaze classes are grossly inadequate preparation, IMO and you will need to find resources and do work outside of that class. I still use some of the things I learned when I am at the dentist -- where I gladly accept novacaine but seem to sometimes have a hard time getting complete pain control.

[migirl]

Jane, I believe the correct term is "stupid" per the thread.

Um ... was this really necessary? Nice of you to post anonymously, BTW.

[Vanquisher]

Let me add an addendum. Jane, as Nellie said, you should do whatever you want. I didn't mean to insinuate that you were crazy. *I* wouldn't want to have a drug-fee labor, and for me it would be a bit nutty, but it may be the right choice for you.

Nellie was much more eloquent than I.

[Cumberland]

I am still on the fence on this one... I really wanted to go natural with DD. My water broke at 3am, and she wasnt born for 22 more hours. I had the epidural after 18 hours of natural laboring. You should see the pictures of me- i am drooling, sobbing, hysterical....then after I had the epidural I was calm and collected, i even put on makeup! But it was goal I set for myself, and I didnt succeed, and I feel in some sense like I failed. I know with the next one, I wont be so rigid, but if I have a four hour labor compared to a 25 hour labor, I probably will want to go natural.

That being said, my philosophy is my body my business. I dont want anyone to tell me how to birth or that their birth was better than mine bc they went natural or vice versa.

Jane, I say "go for it" if natural is the way you want to go. My mom had all 3 kids without any pain meds. She was in labor for only 3 hours with each of the first two kids and 18 hours with the last one (he was sunny-side up and did not want to come out!). She swears that the pain wasn't that bad...even during the 18 hour labor. Everyone's birth experiences are different and I think you should do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

Jane....How are you feeling by the way? How far along are you?

[houseelf]

Jane,

You go girl. The best thing about it being your kid is you get to do it your way.

(BTW, very, very tacky of "guest" to chime in anonymously with barbs.) :disappointed:

RE: Nursing staff thwarting a patient's desires for pain meds because of his or her own views about childbirth. For DD, my first L & D nurse was really opposed to pain meds (She had no kids, for the record). She had terrible bedside manner and basically tried to tell me, a second time mom, while I'm writhing in pain demanding the anesthesiologist (sp?) that I *really* didn't want or need it.

I just about shit-canned her a**. Seriously, I gave DH the look that meant "You need to fulfill your job here...get me the damn epidural". I told him that if she didn't give in he should go down to the nurses' station and request a new nurse. (BTW-that confidence is the beauty of having done this before). Finally, she knew I was serious and she paged the doctor.

Man, I still get miffed about that. It isn't like we hadn't talked about our options for the whole 9 months preceding that day.

Kelly

[Rapunzel]

What's up with posting anonymously and being so mean? If it was someone who dared to use their name then I would think I was just misinterpreting their comments - but doing it without logging in looks, well, pretty bad.... Maybe it was just someone trying to be sarcastic?

Jane, there are some women I know that CAN tolerate the pain and do quite nicely sans any pain relief. There's nothing wrong with that. You'll know once you get through your first labor what your tolerance level is and have a good idea of what you might like to try (or not try) with any future births.

At the end of the day I agree that how the baby comes out is so not important. I, myself, LOVE epidurals and loath the narcotic choices and that's my personal preference. As long as I don't have anyone else telling me what I can and cannot tolerate pain-wise it's all good!

Jennifer

[DCJenn]

Lufthansa was pretty painless for me.... but United was much better!!

Seriously though, there's a counter-culture of people out there who are anti-everything so justhave faith in your own decisions and tell whoever else to back off.

If it were me, (and let me once again reiterate how extremely happy I am to have a beautiful baby without the whole childbirth thing!) I'd probably be as drugged as humanly (or is that humanely?) possible.

One small piece of advice from my SIL who went into labor and was sent home from the hospital because she hadn't progressed enough. Get some Ambien. She said she slept through the contractions and woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed and extremely well-rested. (my brother who didn't get any ambien, didn't sleep at all as my SIL moaned and groaned throughout the night. She has NO recall of that though!) She said it was the best night if sleep she'd had in the previous nine months. And it prepared her for the very long day ahead.

Jenn

[Cumberland]

My sister has a history of seeing werewolves on Ambien.......

[HeartRN]

Ambien did nothing for me the night I was induced. And stadol? Imagine feeling as high as anything and having the worst pain ever! It was the whole drooling, down on all 4s picture somebody was talking about in a previous post! The next time, I'm opting for the c-section right up front!!

My nurse told me it was an underage, unwed mother whose own mother refused to consent for an epidural for her because she wanted her to remember every bit of the experience.

[Sheherezade]

I think every woman should decide for herself and we shouldn't judge those decisions. I feel bad for the women who end up feeling like a failure when nature takes their childbirth down a different road than they planned. The only object of labor should be to get out of it with a healthy baby and a healthy mom. Everything else is gravy.

That said, I think the "guest" comments were only being sarcastic and referring back to earlier post by members that stated not using drugs was "stupid". First page of posts I think. I remember being put off by it myself and wondering if it was going to offend members who did opt for natural childbirth. So ...if you are out there guest ... I think I got your reference. I don't think any of the original posters meant to offend however - I just think they were trying to be funny.

My own experience was with one horrible epidural (first child) that I wish I hadn't had. It took only on one side, left me unable to move from the hip down on that side but left the other side in full pain. The anesthesia people never came back to fix it and I just had the baby that way. That led me to avoid the epidural with the second, which turned out to be painful but not as bad or scary as with my first. Everyone has a different experience. I think you need to be flexible and informed of your choices.