Dealing w/ Job Search Rejection

[JDAZ11]

FWIW, I practiced law for 13 years and was a BigLaw partner. When my firm collapsed, I spent 6 months looking for work and had over 100 entries on the work search log that I was required to keep to collect unemployment. I eventually gave up. I never really liked BigLaw that much and now I can explore other career options. It's definitely not personal. It's economy, geography, connections... What everyone else changed.

I've been wondering how long I should stick to looking for only legal jobs - there are plenty of other things I see myself doing. But I know that if I make switch now I won't be able to change my mind down the road. Things certainly are bad at the moment! I hear a lot about people in my position having a difficult time finding work, but it's crazy that you experienced similar issues with 13 years of experience!

[JDAZ11]

Unfortunately most of what is hiring, I'm not qualified nor interested in. (Commercial litigation, foreclosures, creditors rights, family law, tax law and bankruptcy.)

Ugh I feel your pain - here there seems to be a lot of criminal law openings, which just isn't something i can see myself doing. Although, at this point I may be willing to try it out...

I should probably start looking into volunteering. I had been avoiding it because it didn't seem worth it in light of the amount of $$ I would have to spend on gas and dry cleaning.

[scarlett09]

Thank you - this is exactly how I feel, very well said! I think I just need to do a better job of structure breaks into my routine. There have been days when I have skipped running or yoga because I was waiting for a return phone call or something silly like that - just not worth it.

Definitely don't sit around waiting for a call, do what you need to do for yourself! I couldn't possibly do that and that is why smartphones were created. And remember that they aren't sitting around debating when to call you and thinking about how awesome you are, so they shouldn't get the same treatment from you. Plus the exercise makes you feel better and more pumped about the whole job process. I need to take my own advise, as I haven't been exercising much lately. But I do have a basement cleaning project I intend to start this weekend.

This is also exactly my situation. DF and I have very different attitudes toward money - which was never much of an issue before (he would just say that he didn't think we needed something and I would ignore him and go buy it.... not working as well these days! I guess this is probably a good thing for us to go through in some ways - lots of practice compromising! - I hate it!).

I feel like I could have written the same thing! DH would say "you don't really need that" and I would ignore him and buy it anyway. And now it definitely doesn't work so well when its not my money that I'm spending, but our money, particularly our wedding gift money that is supposed to go towards a house down payment. What I struggle with is that I can't just sit at home all the time - I need to get out, see friends, and do things. He gets all huffy that I'm going to drive up and have dinner with my girlfriends or whatever. Look dude, I've cut back in this department, but I do need human interaction besides you. And I don't complain when you go out with the other residents for happy hour or dinner.

And yes, the art of compromise. Learn it well. As well as the art of picking your battles. I know not to pick a fight when he says that we shouldn't spend a few bucks to go to the movies, and he knows not to pick a fight when I say I'm going out to dinner with the girls once or twice a month. Those fights usually don't end well.

[JDAZ11]

Definitely don't sit around waiting for a call, do what you need to do for yourself! I couldn't possibly do that and that is why smartphones were created. And remember that they aren't sitting around debating when to call you and thinking about how awesome you are, so they shouldn't get the same treatment from you. Plus the exercise makes you feel better and more pumped about the whole job process. I need to take my own advise, as I haven't been exercising much lately. But I do have a basement cleaning project I intend to start this weekend.

I agree that it is a silly mentality. There have only been a few days like that, but I think in those cases I was really expecting a call and didn't want it to come while I was mid run or miss it because I was in a long yoga class - I hate phone tag! (I also had not driven much since college until we moved here and so I still kind of feel like I'm a new driver and didn't want to pick up while driving and not sound composed and professional... very silly, I'm not going to do that anymore!)

I do need human interaction besides you.

AGREED! I think the excessive alone time has been one of the hardest parts of this whole unemployment thing (second only to the self doubt). Sadly I don't have an issue not socializing too much at the moment. It annoys me that I've had very little time to socialize the last few years and now that I have time, I don't have any of my friends around! (or cash to do things!)

DF does push me to be more social and usually supports spending money on social activities (but my situation is a little different since we don't have an existing social network here yet). For me the issue has been a little bit more shopping related... we moved from a studio apartment into a three bedroom house (plus I threw away so many things thinking that it wasn't worth dragging it all over the country), so we needed things (I thought many many things, lol)- he doesn't seem to care about having an empty house, but I'm here all day and tend to find the emptiness depressing. Furnishing the place on such a low budget was certainly an exercise in compromise! I think it was good for us to go through, but I do prefer when I just get my way In many respects he is right, we aren't going to live here for very long and we are just going to want new things that fit better in wherever we go next... oh well, that was probably tmi and somewhat off topic!! sorry!

Well thank you all - I feel a bit more confident and rational for allowing myself to get upset every so often!

JDAZ, I think you're completely valid in getting upset sometimes, especially since you've got a lot on your plate! New place, new lifestyle, looking for a new job...I'm not a lawyer but I went back to school later than some people and I feel like I'm struggling to catch up. And yes, the excessive alone time started getting to me too. I got into this rut of doing my own thing and it was hard to break out of that. Are there a lot of opportunities for social things where you live in AZ? It must be a huge adjustment from NY!

[JDAZ11]

Are there a lot of opportunities for social things where you live in AZ? It must be a huge adjustment from NY!

There totally are. I mean not so much in the middle of day - but otherwise there is plenty to do here. I think I just miss the daily interaction with people on a professional level - which when I have it is usually something that irritates me, lol!! But there are a lot of transplants in this town, so people are very welcoming and friendly. I think it would be much easier to meet people if I had a job (although I don't really know), but it isn't that difficult to meet people otherwise. I've just had a tendency to get into ruts these days and I think I unfortunately have a tendency to base my self worth on accomplishments -- so I've been less than confident and outgoing at times. BUT some days are better than others and today things don't seem all that bad (I guess my mourning period for those rejections is finally over! ).

Word. I try not to, but I also have a tendency to base myself on accomplishments, which is why I'm having a hard time right now (and came across this forum!). And ruts, girl, I hear you. I say baby steps and yoga class like you'd mentioned. Otherwise you're going to drive yourself crazy!

[Laker]

I was a little frustrated when we moved for DW's first attending job. I wanted to go solo, but things were slow since I didn't know anyone here. So I started interviewing, and received an offer, and it was for half I was making when we moved. Very insulting. So after that I decided to stick it out and make it as a solo. Of course, I am fortunate to have a spouse paying the household bills. Anyway, things are picking up now, I am doing some advertising, and have hooked up with a few solo's I met at the courthouse that have extra work. It is a long process, but I am trying to be patient since we knew nobody where we moved. Also as a solo, I get to work out of the house a lot, so it is nice being able to get other stuff done since DW has no time and squeeze in a round or 2 of Modern Warfare 3