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  • #31
    TAKE TWO: BTW, I'm at 4200+ characters.

    I have been a “physician assistant” for a decade now. In 2004, my husband of seventeen years graduated from medical school. I do not mean this play-on-words to be derogatory of the Physician Assistant profession or the professionals themselves in any way. I merely seek to highlight my understanding of the dedication, sacrifice, efforts, tribulations, and triumphs involved in becoming a medical professional. It is through this lens that I have focused my aspirations and know with conviction that I truly want to be a physician assistant.

    My journey to this point has been circuitous. I’ve always been interested in medicine, sciences, and the human body, and knew from a young age that I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. Life has a funny way of getting in the way of plans though. Instead of following the more traditional route of most hopeful physician assistant applicants, I chose a different path. I focused on my young family. I put my career aspirations on the back-burner and instead concentrated on raising my two children and supporting my husband throughout his application to medical school, matriculation, studies, graduation, internship, residency, and fellowship.

    During high school, I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis that required multiple laparoscopic surgeries as well as hormone therapy. These treatments continued into college. After getting married early in my college career, and knowing my fertility was in jeopardy, my husband and I decided to start our family. We made the decision to put my career aspirations on hold. After a difficult pregnancy which included bed rest and several visits to the emergency room for severe dehydration caused by my hyperemesis gravidarum, basal cell carcinoma, and a subchorionic hemorrhage, I had a baby boy in January of 1998. I cared for our newborn son while I hurriedly finished my bachelor’s degree in psychology. Due to these outside factors and my laissez-faire attitude about school at the time, my grades suffered tremendously. Now, I am a dedicated and driven individual with a passion for learning. I am excited to delve into a career that blends my love of learning, science, and compassion for people. My family is fully supportive, and I am prepared to work diligently and tirelessly at this endeavor.

    While he was in medical school, I can recall countless nights helping my husband study. I would quiz him on chemotherapy pharmacology using flash cards, genetic disorders from a thick and unruly textbook, and ask him hundreds of questions from online question banks while we were driving. I would allow him to hone his skills with an otoscope and ophthalmoscope on my ears and eyes. In residency, I would help him prepare for conferences and in-service exams. I bought bananas and oranges for him to practice suturing techniques on. I have listened and been there for him after thirty-six-hour on-call shifts, losing a treasured patient, or just when he is trying to plan for a difficult surgical case. Inevitably, I have learned a bit of medicine just by being around it and attentive to it for as long as I have. However, I have mostly learned how much I do not know, have left to learn, and what it truly takes to be a medical professional.

    For the past four years, I have been a medical assistant, co-owner, and practice manager in my husband’s orthopaedic surgery practice. I understand, intimately, the enormous variety of what goes on in a clinical practice. From taking a patient’s medical history, obtaining and recording vital signs, drawing up steroid injections, and assisting in sterile procedures to credentialing a provider for Medicare, coding an office visit or surgery with appropriate modifiers, and purchasing malpractice coverage, I have a unique breadth of experience and perspective on medical care. All of this experience and my life experience propels me to practice clinical medicine. I want to be a clinical provider. I want to be a part of a healthcare team. I want to evaluate histories, signs and symptoms of illness. I want to formulate treatment plans and help to implement care. I want to collaborate with physician assistants, physicians, and nurse practitioners. I want to be a physician assistant.
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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    • #32
      This is just my .02

      I'm not sure that I like the angle that you have been a physician assistant for a decade as your jumping off point. I think I'd start with something inspirational or that motivated you. I also don't think your medical history belongs in the essay. It's TMI for a professional essay. I think you can find a softer way to account for the discrepancy in your early performance. Also, you could draw differently on your pregnancy and illness using it as a theme for how you got interested in medicine. My limited experience helping with admissions stuff is that this is a red flag.

      I have a unique breadth of experience and perspective on medical care. All of this experience and my life experience propels me to practice clinical medicine. I want to be a clinical provider.
      Overuse of the word experience.

      What I think is missing for me is to see your passion about YOU being a PA. What makes you interested in medicine; what drives you? Why PA school? Why do you want to be a part of a healthcare team? Chad being the doc should be minimally mentioned. You have a good idea on the forces that shaped your adult life, and I think they fit into the essay.

      Here's a good blog post: http://www.mypatraining.com/pa-essay

      I think you're off to a good start of getting your ideas together.
      Last edited by PrincessFiona; 04-10-2014, 07:23 PM.
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #33
        Sigh.

        http://www.mypatraining.com/crafting...lication-essay

        http://www.thepalife.com/how-to-writ...ication-essay/

        I don't know.
        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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        • #34
          Don't sigh! Go Heidi!!!!!!

          Write a list of why you want to be a PA and why it is your passion. Include in your list some motivational experiences.
          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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          • #35
            What I wrote is my motivation. My family, my relationship, my medical history.

            I'm not sure what you're proposing is the correct way for me to go. It's the same as everybody else's essay. I'm not the same.

            I'll think about it.
            Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


            Comment


            • #36
              PA school

              Based on what those tip websites say, you've got excellent bones for your essay. You have unique experiences both personally and professionally. I think your motivators are all there. It seems like you're on the fence about how it currently sounds? What specifically is troubling to you? I don't want to offer any content or organization suggestions until I know what you're (seemingly) not thrilled with.

              If separating yourself from the pack is task #1, well your professional and personal experiences fit that bill perfectly. I think they key for you may be wording and presenting it in a way that helps it and you stand out.
              Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

              sigpic

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              • #37
                I was just trying to help. it was just my opinion and doesn't mean I'm right.

                I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. :/
                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                Comment


                • #38
                  PA school

                  I agree with Kris that minimizing the space where you discuss your experience helping your DH with his education/studying and how your desire for family caused you to become lax with your undergrad grades could help. It's important to your story but you've got so much good stuff in there to emphasize! Your interest in healthcare, sciences, experience, and personal and professional struggles and successes stand on their own, IMO. I think cutting back some of those areas mentioned an emphasizing your passion and personal experience would help highlight that. Your experience helping your husband achieve his goals was important in your journey, but I think the parts that are uniquely *you* help you stand out and paint a very passionate and believable picture about what motivates you to want to be a PA.
                  Last edited by WolfpackWife; 04-10-2014, 08:40 PM.
                  Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

                  sigpic

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                  • #39
                    When I think about Heidi becoming a PA, I think about how she started as a bright, motivated, and very young woman with a young woman's aspiration to be a doctor. I think about how life gave her a whole other set of priorities, kicking her off of that medical school trajectory and onto a fraught path to become a young mother (because of fertility issues, her hand was forced to choose between academics and children; she chose children) and to become a trailing spouse who was the glue who held her family together through decades of ups and downs, moves and uncertainty. I think about how living the realities of medical school studies and residency training, then being the business officer and occasional clinical aide in her husband's surgical practice, did not shake her from her early interest in medicine. What it did was to show her that the physician's path was not the one that was right for her. What's important to her is to be in medicine, but not on the business side: she need to be in there helping people, with the skills and training to play a pivotal role in the healthcare team, taking responsibility for her own patients within the broad scope of practice that is the heart's blood of mid-level providers. Her focus on this goal is keen and sharp and her motivation is in every ounce of her. She is GOING to be a physician assistant.

                    I think this essay is a great start at giving a picture of that Heidi I know. I do think it gives Dr. Vanquisher too much of the limelight, and dwells a little on the nitty-gritty of why you didn't follow a medical path sooner. I don't think it accentuates the positive as much as it could. The last paragraph definitely says how your current work is a unique window to your life as a PA -- you won't be blindsided! And I love the thesis statement about how your experience with C's medical career gives you a "lens through which to focus your aspiration". Lovely. I liked the version a little better when you just had the filler paragraph about "should I talk about how why I had my family early and how having a newborn sidelined medicine". I think that more candid view was better than the more clinical version you included second.

                    This is how writing happens! Drafts upon drafts, editing and revising! Keep it up!
                    Alison

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                    • #40
                      I always tell my students to not talk about others too much and focus on themselves, which is so hard to do, especially when you took the journey together. But like the others said, you have such a compelling story, I'd take what you've gone through and think about how to focus on what makes you a different type of candidate from the other applicants. Can you start off with a hook that tells a story first? My seniors usually start off with a scene from their lives, like a movie camera focusing on something and then gradually pans out so the intro ends with what your main focus is and gives the reader a broader picture if that makes sense? They usually start off with the past (a situation that really affected them), then take it gradually into the present, and the last paragraph about the future.

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                      • #41
                        I agree with Alison. I liked the first version better too. Remember, you don't know who reads these letters. It could be a clinician or an admissions counselor, or an administrative assistant (or a combination of different people). I wouldn't include the info about the pregnancy, and put yourself in the spotlight more than Chad.

                        If PA school apps are anything like residency apps, this is definitely an essay that will set you apart, simply because it's formatted differently. Every residency essay I've read in the last three years is either "I always knew I wanted to be a doctor" or (no offense, CG), the method that starts with a story. The essays that we remember are the ones that do not follow those formats. Again, that's just my experience with residency essays, so it may not apply.

                        Long story short, don't change the general outline, think about your audience, and talk more about the amazingness of Heidi!
                        I'm just trying to make it out alive!

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I'm not amazing. I'm not cut out for talking about myself. I hate myself. The two essays barely differ. Only one paragraph is changed, and that's cause I hadn't written it yet.

                          I don't know how to do this.
                          Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


                          Comment


                          • #43
                            PA school

                            I don't have any anecdotes or stories. My story is so grossly intertwined with his story, I can barely separate myself.

                            I don't even know if I have what it takes to get in, and I really doubt my ability to finish, so I don't know. The truth is, I don't know what I want for sure. Well, I do, but I can't have that.

                            How can I talk about myself when I think I'm worthless, lazy, tactless, and negative? Hi, I have no friends in my real life cause people don't want to be around me, so I'd make an excellent PA?

                            I need to step away for a bit. This is too hard. I'm supposed to talk about me, but this is me. I'm nothing. I've lived my whole life for my husband and my kids. I'm just empty.
                            Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


                            Comment


                            • #44
                              I like it so far. I agree with Spotty Dog. I would start off with your aspirations to be in the medical field. I also think I would pick a couple trusted individuals to help you. Putting it on the forum will have too many cooks in the kitchen and be oming more confusing and overwhelming. You're doing great so far.
                              Needs

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                              • #45
                                I think it's a decent draft! Don't get yourself all upset.

                                I'd have guessed this would be hard for you -- you don't like to talk about yourself and you seem like you are feeling particularly delicate these days. That's probably because you are taking risks and putting yourself out there. It feels uncomfortable.

                                We all just LOVE to help, don't we??

                                The final copy never looks anything like the first draft. If you step away, you'll be fresh when you return to it and you will be better able to see it as an outsider.

                                I always write with an invisible outline in my head of the points I'm trying to make. I'm not a great storyteller but I can construct an argument! That can leave my writing sounding a little wooden and boring, but that's MY problem. LOL

                                I think I'd give it less storytelling feel and more of an argument structure if that makes sense. "I want to attend your school because boom, boom, boom." It leans more to a great story right now and it needs more of the "argument" side.
                                Angie
                                Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                                Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                                "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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